A mark of respect.. (1 Viewer)

[Cal54]

On my way to the shops this morning there was a funeral procession coming out of a side street onto a busy road and one of the undertakers was walking in front of the hearse. I stopped, as a I think most would do, and let all the cars out. This made me reflect on traditions from my childhood - if I was out with my grandad and a hearse went by he would always stop, bow his head and remove his cap. Also if someone in the street died the curtains at the front of the house would remain drawn until the funeral. I wonder how many marks of respect are still evident these days?

Sorry to be ‘doom and gloom’ at this festive time, but it is a reminder that Christmas isn’t brilliant for everyone.

 

[Doctor Dave]

A very touching post @Cal54. It reminds me of the time we went to Mother-in-Laws funeral in the Isle of Man. After the chapel service in Peel we all followed the hearse to Douglas crematorium and without exception all the workers we passed en route - andc it seemed to be a lot of road workers that day - stopped what ever they were doing, removed their hats and bowed as the hearse passed them.

Mind you, in the Isle of Man they do things like that.

Happy Christmas to you.

Dave

 

[gerry mcg]

i got caught up in a cortege last Friday when in the van. I was going round a small but busy roundabout, and a hearse pulled out of one of the roundabout entrances onto the r/b ahead of me - I had no option but to drop in behind it, as i hadn't clocked it as a herse until it had pulled out and stopping on a busy r/b would have got me rear ended. we were then on a NSL single carriage way for the next 5 miles (with occasional straights).
i hung back a respectful distance, but on one of the clear straights (after a bout a mile) the hearse indicated Left and signalled for me to pass, which i did (slowly) in order to let the cortege regroup.
I felt bad, but there was nothing i could have done by the time I realised what was going on.

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[Wildbill]

I always show respect by removing my hat and placing it to my chest when in uniform i have saluted the as it passed
My nabor passed away last year my flag was at half mast till the funereal was over
their curtains were closed
bill

 

[Cal54]

@gerry mcg - I don’t think there is anything else you could do. Roundabouts just can’t be predicted, what your post does show however is that you were respectful of the situation.

 

[Mousy]

I've said for ages we should bring back the tradition of wearing black armbands. It's a visual reminder to everyone to be kinder to the wearer.

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[gerry mcg]

yes, we kind of entered simultaneously into the same gap in the traffic - with me on one entrance to the R/B and the hearse was at the next entrance - I was looking Right for a gap so never clocked what was waiting at the next slip road and the hearse took the same gap in the traffic flow. Despite the the Hearse doing 20-30 in the NSL, i wasn't going to overtake it (until they indicated that it was OK.) as i thought it would be disrespectful.

 

[gerry mcg]

cars in a cortege used to put their lights on, and that way one could spot a cortege a distance away, but now, with the requirement for new cars to have DRL's, means it can be difficult to distinguish apart

 

[nicholsong]

I have spent many years in Poros, Greece where the main road from one of the big churches runs past the cafes/restaurants. When a cortege passes the customers, almost without exception, stand up and the religious ones cross themselves - I do not that because I am neither Orthodox nor RC, but I do stand.

Geoff

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[movan]

Up until a couple of years ago I always stopped and stood in respect till the funeral party drove past. Stopped doing it because was made to feel a bit silly by other passers by ... but think it is time to do it again. We should lead by example.

 

[Blossom]

I remember this happening when I was young Carol. My Grandad did exactly the same and curtains would remain closed till after the funeral.
Joy I still stand still if I see a funeral cortage go by. The trouble is people seem too busy to bother with these traditions now a days, which is a shame.

 

[Stollysmith]

As a semi-retired pall bearer/hearse/ limousine driver I can confirm all of the above and that many youngsters of today still stand and show respect. However many drivers show absolutely no respect in terms of allowing a cortège to proceed. During my training I was advised to stick to the rear bumper of the hearse like glue as it was not unknown for drivers to try get between the hearse and following limousines. There appear to be some drivers out there with no spacial awareness at all.

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[Head Gardener]

@gerry mcg - I don’t think there is anything else you could do. Roundabouts just can’t be predicted, what your post does show however is that you were respectful of the situation.

Many years ago a friend of mine was killed whilst riding his motorbike, he was a member of the local Harley Davidson 'chapter'. Come the day of the funeral everyone met outside his Mum's house and a long procession of cars followed the hearse, and we were all followed by a LOT of bikes. Who were followed by the Police . . .

No problems at all until we were approaching a massive roundabout known to be horrid at the best of times, and it was guaranteed that the procession would get slpit up. I'll never forget the sight of the bikes speeding up, overtaking the hearse and getting to the roundabout ahead of everyone, where they proceeded to briefly block every single entrance road so that the cortege wasn't disturbed. The police (wisely) kept out of the way - this had obviously been well planned in advance.

At the crematorium all the guys in leathers waited until everyone else was inside and seated, and then they quietly walked in and stood at the back. Now ~that~ was respect, and even though it was nearly 40 years ago, like an idiot I am tearing up just remembering it.

 

[simsy56]

A very touching post @Cal54. It reminds me of the time we went to Mother-in-Laws funeral in the Isle of Man. After the chapel service in Peel we all followed the hearse to Douglas crematorium and without exception all the workers we passed en route - andc it seemed to be a lot of road workers that day - stopped what ever they were doing, removed their hats and bowed as the hearse passed them.

Mind you, in the Isle of Man they do things like that.

Happy Christmas to you.

Dave

It's not unusual for some traffic to stop, coming the opposite way when they see a cortege. Even on the mountain road. That's the Isle of Man.

Craig

 

[RogerThat]

I'm only(?) in my early fourties but even I was brought up and taught proper levels of respect by my parents.

I too stop and bow my head, make my dog sit promptly by my side (she goes everywhere with me), and coming from Catholic / Irish stock I also make the sign of the cross.

As per others above, I will also go out of my way to halt all the traffic behind me in order to let an entire funeral courtage pass. I mean, what sort of person wouldn't?! One can only imagine the grief and heartache everyone there is suffering. The last thing they need to contend with is some (insert suitable expletive here) driver on the road.

I fear I'm almost the last generation to have been brought up this way

My sisters kids, thankfully, are being brought up the same way she and I were.

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[Minxy]

We had a situation last week with a funeral courtage ... we'd been at traffic lights and were waiting to turn right into the start of a dual carriageway road, from the opposite direction traffic had the option to use a feeder lane to the left (bi-passing the traffic lights) so they could go onto the dual carriageway (obviously if it was clear). Our lights changed and we turned into the dual carriageway just as the funeral cars decided for some unknown reason to pull out from the feeder lane in front of us, we slowed and thought they had all gone so was safe for us to proceeded, unfortunately what we didn't realise is that there were more courtage vehicles (there must have been a lot of them!) which for some reason had decided to stop in the feeder lane even though it had been clear for them to continue. We just drove behind the cars already in the procession and within a few feet of our doing so 2 of the remaining cars tried to literally push us out of the way by speeding up to the side of us and beeping and waving arms around! We didn't realise immediately as you don't expect those attending a funeral to have road rage! We let one in as it wouldn't have been safe NOT to due to their actions, but the other had to slot in behind.

Our being inadvertently in the procession hadn't actually caused any issues at all and as we turned off anyway about 50ft further along our 'interloping' was minimal as we weren't trying to pass or being impatient - but the actions of these mourners must have been heard by all and sundry and caused upset. I've never ever witnessed this before and was quite shocked by it all.

 

[tjay]

I always let a hearse and cortege through whenever possible, it is my own mark of respect shown to me by my parents.
Plus usually touch my chest as I also remember my late wife !

 

[Tootles]

I will usually show the greatest respect to a funeral cortege, but only if invited to the tea and cakes afterwards. You seem to get a better class of sandwich at a funeral, and with luck, a free bar.

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[stewartwebr]

I always stop and give way to a funeral cortege. However, it is getting more and more difficult to identify who are in the cortege. People used to always wear a dark suit with white shirt and black tie, so could be identified who is part of the cortege, but people seem to be moving away from this tradition as well. I accept that some people request bright clothes etc for the funeral but in general terms I see less and less conformance to tradition.
Some traditions however are regional in that a month or so ago my Parents neighbour passed away. From the minute my Mother was informed of the passing all curtains facing the front of the house were closed and remained closed until after the funeral. When this was discussed with my other half they were not aware of this tradition, and they come from a family where traditions would have been followed, but had never heard of doing such a thing.

On a lighter note, I was at the funeral of a friends Mother a few years ago. They are Jewish and it was a traditional Jewish funeral. When we went back to the house tea boxes had been set up for us to sit on and all the mirrors in the house covered. I asked my friend why the mirrors where covered. He explained he thought it was something to do with not being able to see the pain in our faces, so what about sitting on these tea boxes...not sure but think its to make sure we have pain on our faces my ar*e is killing me was the reply

But getting back to the serious point of the topic. Showing respect to each other be it in life or death is most definitely on the slide. I don't know why. Is it because it is no longer taught by parents and each generation loose more and more respect, is it life is far too fast now and physical displays of respect are just too time consuming and require physical effort, is it that the individual giving the respect does not get credit in the physical form for showing respect, but would rather post some long drawn out post on social media where others can view and see the respect and in return the respect giver gets gratification for doing so, drawing on a world where people only do things when they get something back for doing so?

I'm starting to sound like my Grandfather!!