Top (tongue in cheek) Tips to reduce payload

[MisterB]

please feel free to add further suggestions ....


Always iron your clothes so there is no in-crease of weight ....
Only carry forks with three prongs, you should remove unnecessary prongs
Only carry right handed screwdrivers, if you need a left handed screwdriver then you could always use a right handed screwdriver anti clockwise
Wardrobes full of clothes increase the vehicles overall weight, so wear several layers of clothing while driving instead of storing them in the wardrobe
Only take grated cheese or cheese with holes in as they weigh less than 'solid' cheese, pound for pound ...
Weight decreases the higher you go, so always drive uphill where possible

 

[LesW]

Make sure you have a good crap before setting off, and also get your hair cut.

 

[suavecarve]

Feather down duvets weigh less than the lead lined ones

 

[M-J]

Drive with the windows open to get rid of any excess air.

 

[TinaLes]

Check how many shoes/boots the wife has stowed on board, or take the number given & multiply it by at least 3....Rubber Wellington boots dont count apparently.
Check under Pillows & Duvets for contraband alcohol that she knows you dont like.
Check how many types of winter/rain jackets are in the van, thick ones, thinner ones, long/short sleeved, and dont forget to count the "decoy" one hanging on the back of the passenger seat.
Funny thing is she will always wear one of mine, as it was "nearer the front of the wardrobe" so will do for now.
I am sure more will spring to mind, been so long since we have been in the van these days.
My toolbox/spares box is always under scrutiny, but what can you do.?
Have Fun everyone.
LES

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[Lenny HB]

Drink all alcohol before driving then you won't have to carry the heavy bottles.

 

[Slopey]

Simply offload the wife

 

[bobnick]

Don't wear underwear.

 

[jdk62]

Shave under your arms…

 

[TinaLes]

Close all windows tightly, fill van with Helium Gas, leave wallet, Rolex & I pad at home, dont park up in France.
Don't use the phone as you might sound funny. Garmin Sat Nag Voice will not be affected though.
LES

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[The Coops]

Put everything in a trailer or buy a caravan to store useless stuff in

 

[glenn2926]

I think it would be better to increase payload.

 

[David and Sally]

Stand when driving so you lower the weight on the seats.

 

[63720]

Loose some body weight perhaps.....

 

[sonar]

Empty the fuel and water tanks.
then drain the engine oil.
that could help lose a few kgs

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[David and Sally]

Loose some body weight perhaps.....

Take off bumpers, trims, rear panels. Who needs them?

 

[Jamesh]

Simply offload the wife

Or shop in for lighter model!

Sorry dear you take the weight over the payload... But I'm keeping the MH..... Btw have you met Kelly?!

 

[Nanniemate]

take out the engine and push it far lighter and economical also environmentally friendly

 

[Minxy]

Take dehydrated water

 

[peterc10]

If you drive an automatic motorhome you could amputate your left leg as it won't be needed. Make sure you buy a crutch that is aluminium or, even better, carbon fibre.

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[sonar]

Remove any stickers you may have on the back

Inconsiderate motorhome driver

Some inconsiderate tw@t in a motorhome on the Guisboro to Whitby road (24 miles) doing between 30mph and 40mph with a foot constantly on the brake pedal. The van had a large decal on the back of a Tiger ....unmissible. I was 12 to 15 cars behind and a further 30 or so behind me. Made no attempt...

www.motorhomefun.co.uk

 

[Minxy]

If you drive an automatic motorhome you could amputate your left leg as it won't be needed. Make sure you buy a crutch that is aluminium or, even better, carbon fibre.

Trouble is I think the auto option adds more weight than a leg unless the owner has tree-trunks for legs!

 

[peterc10]

Trouble is I think the auto option adds more weight than a leg unless the owner has tree-trunks for legs!

Ah but............ My calculation is based upon them already having an automatic.

If they didn't you would be right.

 

[nicholsong]

Convert the MH to a 'Convertible' - fabric roofs are lighter.

 

[glenn2926]

All these ideas whilst being quite funny are really not helping the OP. The question was how to reduce payload.
The fitting of extra large fresh water tanks would help. As would fitting extra wind out awnings on both sides and across the rear.

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[sonar]

All these ideas whilst being quite funny are really not helping the OP. The question was how to reduce payload.
The fitting of extra large fresh water tanks would help. As would fitting extra wind out awnings on both sides and across the rear.

Simple answer here take less with you.

 

[Richard n Ann]

I once went to an AC install in a little Vauxhall Combo van. My boss loaded it up ready, was a big ish system so it had to be unboxed to fit in. The van was literally loaded up to the ceiling, there was even stuff in the front.
I said effin hell Simon I'll get sent to eff driving this he said you'll be fine mate just have a dump before you set off

 

[Emmit]

Simple answer here take less with you.

You didn't read the O. P. did you?
(and if actually did) , try saying the title,
Wih yor hung in yor heek.

 

[Davecrawf]

please feel free to add further suggestions ....


Always iron your clothes so there is no in-crease of weight ....
Only carry forks with three prongs, you should remove unnecessary prongs
Only carry right handed screwdrivers, if you need a left handed screwdriver then you could always use a right handed screwdriver anti clockwise
Wardrobes full of clothes increase the vehicles overall weight, so wear several layers of clothing while driving instead of storing them in the wardrobe
Only take grated cheese or cheese with holes in as they weigh less than 'solid' cheese, pound for pound ...
Weight decreases the higher you go, so always drive uphill where possible

Leave your partner at home

 

[suavecarve]

Leave your partner at home

I ll still take mine as the hot air she produces has the same effect as a hot air balloon and lightening the load.

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