The British sense of humor - droll!!

The train was quite crowded, and a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular 'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog.

'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.'

She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'

This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honor! this American should be put in his place!'

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.

 

A woman playing golf teed off and watched in horror as her ball hit a man playing the next hole.He clasped his hands together at his groin,fell to the ground and rolled aroundin agony.The woman rushed to the man offering to relieve his pain,as she was a physiotherapist.The man said "no ill be fine" but she insisted.She gently took his hands away,undid his trousers and put her hands inside.She massaged for several moments and asked"how does that feel"? he replied"it feels great but i still think my thumbs broken.:thumb: