Overly cautious ? (covid) (1 Viewer)

[Coolcats]

Why. Would you like your kids (if you have any) tell you what to do and who you can see?
They, as a couple need to decide if they wish to see the kids and grandkids, not be told what to do by their children.

I thought it was the children’s job in that as they grow they do tell the parents what to do

 

[carolyn]

As she is not picking them up for childcare reasons she is being reckless with her health and yours and of course anyone else she is in contact with.

The Belgian health service is over run, they were asking staff to go in way back even when they had tested positive as things were desperate. Do you not have an equivalent to our Prof Chris Whitty for her to listen to. If you do and she is still doing it then I think you are in for a hard time persuading her.

What a terrible situation for you to be in. I would be absolutely furious inside but being angry with her won’t help especially if/when she gets it. She does seem to be in a bit of denial. The only thing you can do is stick to your guns and keep repeating that you don’t think it’s a good idea for the sake of her health and yours. I’ve no idea what the restrictions in Belgium are, presumably not as severe as here if she’s not breaking the law, although it might be more the spirit of the law if they are under 12s.

 

[Coolcats]

Coronavirus: Young people warned 'don't kill granny'​

Until individuals have the Covid Vaccine the message put out last year is still valid, no judgment id being made here but the more you isolate and stay away from others the safer you are. As the classic clip says 'lets be careful out there'

 

[ShaKen]

It’s a interesting point when parents / grandparents say “I’ve got to see them....the kids really miss me”.

Well, they will REALLY miss you if your dead!

As many have said, now is the time to be super strong - it would be more than a bummer if you made it this far and then died of COVID a few weeks away from getting a vaccine - almost a Darwin Award moment there!

 

[WillH]

We haven't seen our grandchildren since the start of February, it's tough, but we do hope to stick around to see them again.

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[Landy Andy]

Seeing as the grandchildren are the responsibility of their own parents (ie their children) then they have every right to say no to allowing grandparents to see them, for whatever reason, the grandparents have no legal right to insist on seeing them whatsoever. In this instance it sounds like the kiddies parents may have to do it as I doubt the OP's partner will willingly do so.

Yes the grand children are the responsibility of the children but the grand children aren’t doing wrong, or having any input into this. The gran is going to the school and seeing them.
Funny how’s it’s always someone else’s responsibility. You’d soon change your mind if your kids said “your too old I’m taking your driving license away” or made other major decisions for you.
The op and his wife are adults and need to workout, as a couple, what they wish to do. Not be told by their children what they can and can’t do.


Not having a go at you personally Minxy, (I only know how to quote one person), but the point is to anyone who thinks they would want their children making all their decisions

 

[Brains]

Not having a go at you personally Minxy, (I only know how to quote one person), but the point is to anyone who thinks they would want their children making all their decisions

There comes a point in most peoples lives when their children make all the decisions.

Vet your daughters boyfriends carefully.
One of them will be the person choosing your retirement home (and possibly paying for it)

 

[MattR]

If my parents were making decisions that would put their lives at risk, I would make it increasingly clear how risky it was and, if necessary, stop their visits. Some grandparents seem to think that missing a few visits with grandchildren would be the end of their worlds; it may be distressing for them but imagine how distressing it would be for the grandchildren and their parents if the grandparents died through infections caught due to the visits. If the grandparents aren't responsible enough to protect themselves, the parents should step and up protect their children from the distress of killing granny.

The op and his wife are adults and need to workout, as a couple, what they wish to do. Not be told by their children what they can and can’t do.

 

[Jaws]

I would say, all things considered, your wife is not being very considerate to you. Sorry..
Nowt to do with the motorhome, she is being selfish in the extreme by pandering to her perceived need to see the grandkids while effectively putting hers and YOUR life at risk
If she wishes to carry on in what many will see as quite a reckless way, tell her until such time as the danger passes, she should move out of the shared home.. possibly move in with the grand kids parents..

 

[Coolcats]

Unfortunately they also reported that they are getting more patients within the lower age groups into hospital with covid so it's no longer mostly the older ones who are suffering badly.


Seeing as the grandchildren are the responsibility of their own parents (ie their children) then they have every right to say no to allowing grandparents to see them, for whatever reason, the grandparents have no legal right to insist on seeing them whatsoever. In this instance it sounds like the kiddies parents may have to do it as I doubt the OP's partner will willingly do so.

I am with you on this Minxy Girl, there is a broader social responsibility in keeping everyone safe. One Christmas my Mother stayed with us and it was clear something was not quite right health wise, we encouraged her to see her Doctor which she said she would do (but did not) so we, the Children took control by contacting the Doctor who did a home visit, six weeks later my Mother passed away peacefully in Hospital as she had Liver Cancer. Had we not intervened she would have died alone at home. She kept her house spotless, it was all well maintained and cognitively she was all good it was just some eating habits that had changed that caused concern.

I would say there are times when the Children do need to take control, even telling a parent they should stop driving. (We do not have children so it will be the cats that call social services

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[Minxy]

Yes the grand children are the responsibility of the children but the grand children aren’t doing wrong, or having any input into this. The gran is going to the school and seeing them.
Funny how’s it’s always someone else’s responsibility. You’d soon change your mind if your kids said “your too old I’m taking your driving license away” or made other major decisions for you.
The op and his wife are adults and need to workout, as a couple, what they wish to do. Not be told by their children what they can and can’t do.


Not having a go at you personally Minxy, (I only know how to quote one person), but the point is to anyone who thinks they would want their children making all their decisions

I never said the kiddies were doing anything wrong, however if what the OP's partner is doing is putting herself and others at risk then IMV she is not being sensible and if others can do something to prevent/reduce risks then in this case I think they should, it's completely different from something like taking your driving licence away but to be perfectly honest if I was a risk to others whilst driving I would hope my kids would intervene regardless of age (if I had any!).

Remember that although the kiddies could pass it on to her, if she gets it she could pass it on to them which in turn could infect their parents, friends etc ... it's not all 'one sided' ... we are in a major pandemic and need to be sensible and not selfish.

 

[suavecarve]

I would bring it down to how necessary is it she pick them up on those days.
Then how necessary is it she plays with them
Then I would ask her how you see it as necessary that she goes lives with them if she gives a positive answer to the first 2.

Sometimes we have to upset the ones we love with a bit of reality.

I would be considerably less concerned if she were picking them up from school and dropping them off, but we all have different perceptions.

 

[John Timberlake]

Thanks for all your replies, much appreciated.

I've decided to take the safest route, and suspend all outings in the MH, indefinitely, or until the Chinese Takeaway has gone or my partner develops some contact with reality.

Breaks my heart, bought the MH at end Nov, and had great plans to enjoy a few months off work.

I'll drain all the water systems to stop them freezing up, then do the same to the motorhome

Take care everyone, and thanks again.