Just Had Phone Call....

[Destination Unknown]

From a lady from Buton on Trent saying I have been in a car accident and it was not my fault.


Told her Yes, it was Fatel....Myself and two others in my car were killed instantly?.

She Hung Up........How Rude of her !!!!

 

[David and Sally]

You are dead right....right?

I tell about my accident. They pass me on to another dept who ask all about it all. They ask when this happened and I answer honestly.......1974.........cue dialling tone

 

[Sandancers]

We should gather the best "Nonesense" info that people have given these cold callers.

I'll start, "Yes, we did have an incident in our car, it was actually near Baghdad Airport last January, I was sitting in our car with some mates when suddenly there was a bright flash and a loud bang, how I got out alive I'll never know, only survivor, can you get me some compo do you think ?"

 

[Larrynwin]

Snap I had one yesterday , I was buried the day before. Bloody scammers

 

[WynandJean]

It's quite disappointing that we don't get any of these nuisance calls since we bought a call-blocker phone system. I used to enjoy winding them up.

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[nomadic]

Had one last Monday, deep voice told me I had been identified as leading a fraudster of HMRC funds and to avoid arrest should click on the link and pay the sum stated in the link, or be arrested in the next twelve hours.

I'll await the knock says I.....the line went into hibernation.

 

[FIDGET]

please give me the date / time & where it was , for the one in question , cos I've had several recently , all bin my fault !! sorry

 

[Bognor Saint]

It's usually the same girl but with a different name each time.

 

[Coolcats]

It's quite disappointing that we don't get any of these nuisance calls since we bought a call-blocker phone system. I used to enjoy winding them up.

you can always wind the poor caller up acknowledge you have had the letter they have sent and ask them to hold for just one moment...........place a piece of paper in the shredder and once done ask if they heard the sound, when they say yes explain that was the letter/contract going through the shredder......it normally does the trick and wastes thier time as well.

 

[Spriddler]

My son spoke with great excitement for ten minutes or so to a cold caller selling conservatories, saying he'd love one and has received an inheritance so had been thinking about it; extra space, nice and bright, home office etc. etc. but the caller hung up when my son gave his address for their 'surveyor' to call:
"Flat 6, third floor............................"

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[IslandApe]

Mate of mine who takes no prisoners:

Some cold caller rang when a bunch of us were having a quiet drink one Saturday watching the footie - he did a reverse heavy breather. Started asking the guy who called about his underwear and how large an appendage he had...

 

[ShaKen]

I love having some fun if I have some spare time.

My favourite is when they ask if I had an accident recently and I start wailing “...oh my God is was TERRIBLE..TERRIBLE” ....”What happened Sir?” they ask.....

I then slowly drag it out that it was a horrendous accident as I was driving along and suddenly there was a horrendous noise as I farted and shat myself by accident! They usually don’t quite understand what I mean so I enjoy embellishing in vivid detail the mechanics of passing an uninvited stool in your pants.

(and please before anyone asks, I’m making it all up - honest!)

 

[Lenny HB]

I've had two of the car accident calls this week, second one I managed to wind up for few minutes, they hung up when I told them it was in 1967.

 

[suavecarve]

I love having some fun if I have some spare time.

My favourite is when they ask if I had an accident recently and I start wailing “...oh my God is was TERRIBLE..TERRIBLE” ....”What happened Sir?” they ask.....

I then slowly drag it out that it was a horrendous accident as I was driving along and suddenly there was a horrendous noise as I farted and shat myself by accident! They usually don’t quite understand what I mean so I enjoy embellishing in vivid detail the mechanics of passing an uninvited stool in your pants.

(and please before anyone asks, I’m making it all up - honest!)

I am unashemedly going to use this one.
I nearly wet myself laughing (Im making it up honest)

 

[phillipsheila]

We time ours 43 min is my record, i love getting cold calls, I keep thinking if i keep you on this line for as much time as possible you cant scam anybody else, Am i sad or wot,

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[PaulyP]

I got one that said about my recent accident, is that the one where I broke a leg I said, oh yes that’s it we could get you £20,000 for that.


Ok that’s good, but the table wasn’t worth that much.

 

[68c]

Tell them how ashamed their mother would be if she knew her child did this for a living.

 

[olley]

 

[dabhand]

I just say which one (accident), never fails, they always hang up, except for one girl who actually said “there’s no need to take the piss” and then hung up!

 

[HugoBNB]

Cracking thread to read.
On a similar line, relating to email scammers, download the book "Delete This At Your Peril" by Neil Forsyth (on Amazon Kindle). It is a right laugh IMHO.
Take care and stay safe

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[ctc]

Nice to see some with a sense of humour.

 

[Vipar]

I just say hang on doorbell. If they are still there after 5 mins I say so sorry it was jehova witnesses. Then well which accident was it? Brrrrrrrrrrrr oh the lines gone dead

 

[wiljoy]

That's why data protection is a lie. Everybody knows everything about us.

 

[Mark and Mindy]

I usually talk at top speed to get all the words out before they hang up - "was it the one where I reversed off the drive and hit my neighbours car, that was 5 years ago" I don't usually get to tell them how long ago it was though... very sad

 

[Whippetgood]

I'll probably be labelled a killjoy but I'm sure that these jobs are a last resort for the actual callers and having the p@@s taken out of them isn't really necessary. I just say I haven't had an accident and please don't call me again - takes 5 secs.

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[knickam]

I just say "I will get my dad" Check in half an hour to see if they are still on the line.

 

[Puddleduck]

I tell them I'll put them through to the chauffeur's residence.

 

[Puddleduck]

I'll probably be labelled a killjoy but I'm sure that these jobs are a last resort for the actual callers and having the p@@s taken out of them isn't really necessary. I just say I haven't had an accident and please don't call me again - takes 5 secs.

I know you are right but after 12 or 13 calls within a couple of hours and it gets a bit much.

 

[nicholsong]

I know you are right but after 12 or 13 calls within a couple of hours and it gets a bit much.

So popular?

I must be a Pariah as I have never had any - boo, hoo.

Geoff

 

[joe and sue]

Many years back we were at a friends house one Saturday evening having a barbecue, when the phone rang, his then 10 year old daughter answered as she always did, then stood listening for a short time, then she said, " sorry we already have some" and hung up.
When asked who it was her reply was " someone selling windows" and all deadly serious.
Priceless answer from an innocent 10 year old,

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