I Was Minding My Own Business When I Was Accosted by... (1 Viewer)

[JJ]

...A South Korean member of the God Squad.

I was filling the Hymer at the local tap on the outskirts of the tiny village, in the middle of nowhere, when this gentleman in a suit and shiny shoes walked up to me with a friendly smile on his face and asked how I was.

Now it so happens I have been trained in "JW" spotting by non other than VIP Funsters Bob and Janie, so I was ready...

I explained I was fine but suggested he didn't waste his time with me talking about his religion.

He asked if I had a religion...

I told him I did... I worshipped Manchester City Football Club, my cathedral was the Etihad Stadium, Pep Guardiola was the Son of my Creator and his disciples had scored 106 goals this season.

Be fair to the bloke... he didn't give up until I told him firmly (but politely) to go away and take his evil religion with him.

As he walked away I was sure he was a bloody Red...

In the middle of nowhere, up in the hills, in very rural Central Portugal a "JW" from South Korea... what the hell is going on?


JJ

 

[PaulyP]

I can assure you he wouldn't be a RED !!!

 

[JJ]

Hello there Mr PaulyP...

How are things?

I hope you are okay with second...


JJ

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[Janine]

My son went into Macdonalds in Oxford yesterday for his junk food fix and found it had been invaded by a French bible group. The world's gone mad!

 

[yodeli]

French bible group.

They're trying to convince weaker people from other countries than France, French are far too tough and reactive for them

 

[2657]

Deja Vu........1967/68 League one final table, 50 years ago same result

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[maxi77]

I just tell them that most of the wars in the worid have been caused by people like him /her. Usuallylly gets them on their bike. There us a group who frequent our local Tesco but not one has had the nerve to approach me. One of my best evenings entertainment was discussing whether God was an astronaut whilst they stood in the pouring rain and I stood in the porch warm and dry. That took a good hour and a half before they found an excuse to disengage.

 

[MR. FUSION]

As he walked away I was sure he was a bloody Red...

JW's are the communists of the Bible based religions, top down control and no room for independent thought

 

[Wee Bold Davy]

I once had Mormons turn up at my house with a projector and screen after my wife took a book off them previously

When I was a postman I had a work colleague who was a JW. On one occasion during his break he had kicked of his soaking shoes and was drying his feet on a radiator. One of my mates commented on him having a large hole in the toe of one of his socks and before he managed to reply, I asked him if it happened when he got his toe jammed in someones door

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[B-well]

Watch this space.

 

[Wee Bold Davy]

Watch this space.

Waiting for an optical illusion?

 

[Bognor Saint]

Waiting for an optical illusion?

I'm just waiting for miracles. (Southampton season ticket holder)

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[Wee Bold Davy]

I'm just waiting for miracles. (Southampton season ticket holder)

Just be glad you don't support Clyde FC

 

[JJ]

I'm just waiting for miracles. (Southampton season ticket holder)

Not sure Sparky will give you any... but I suppose he might.

JJ

 

[JJ]

Deja Vu........1967/68 League one final table, 50 years ago same result

Not quite the same... went down to the last match that year and we weren't 19 points ahead at the end...

JJ

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[MyrtleGuru]

An atheist uncle of mine, a soap-box politician, who would invariably invite them in and talk them to within in inches of their lives and they would end up running for the hills.

Then there was my grandmother, who in the 1960s would ask of the American Mormans who turned up at her door "Why aren't you serving in Vietnam?". Her other favourite was: "Why do you never bring any black brethren with you?". Go Grandma, RIP.

 

[Dilbert]

I'm just waiting for miracles. (Southampton season ticket holder)

WE MARCH ON..... Hopefully

 

[ymfb]

Tell them you’re Catholic a Catholic once told mr, they know they can’t convert you.

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[mike mcglynn]

Where we live we are constantly visited by large groups of JW for some reason,they are a nuisance and Im sure they have to bring their kids with them .I feel sorry for the kids .

 

[Ven]

We’ve had a couple of visits from JWs in Silves but that’s the only place abroad so far. A polite no thanks I’m an atheist has dispensed with them quickly so far!

Very unexpected to get one in your village @JJ, word must have got out that someone needs saving

 

[champers]

They were also at Amercao de Pera ....as JJ mentioned they were also wearing suits and shiny shoes plus their kiddies

Kath

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[Gromett]

I used to love inviting them in and baffling them with actual real science.... I got blacklisted and never saw them again. Damn, my cheap entertainment stopped coming.
I would also occasionally stoop to using morals on them... My favourite was why they don't believe in equality.
I asked them why they don't allow women to preach and why they must remain silent at church. They quote the bible section where some chattering women were told to be quiet in temple. It was a specific event relating just to that particular group of women.

I then pointed out that the angel at the tomb of Jesus told 2 women (The Mary's) to go tell the good news that Jesus was risen. If an angel tells women to preach what right do they have to overrule the word of god? The actual word used was by the angels was apostellein which as you can obviously see is the what we know as proselytise..... Which is exactly what the JW's are doing.

I pull this one out because my mum was a minister in the church and she would have been told to shut up by them.....

 

[The general]

Not sure Sparky will give you any... but I suppose he might.

JJ

Without him we could have said hello championship.

 

[Larby]

I had 2 friends become JWs, her yes, but amazed he became one. I'm sure we have them on Fun.
Whatever your views, you have to admire their resilience and dedication in their quest to convert you.
If you had a business and employed staff with the same determination you would be very happy.

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[The general]

When I was in Salt Lake City after a visit - tour to the Mormon tabin( church ) which was interesting they approached me for my address to follow up the visit with a home visit once I was home , I gave them my friends address and he duly got a visit and several phone calls !

 

[JJ]

I gave them my friends address and he duly got a visit and several phone calls !

Is this how Saints' supporters treat their friends?


JJ

 

[PaulyP]

Hello there Mr PaulyP...

How are things?

I hope you are okay with second...


JJ

Much as it pains me I've got to admit that you were far superior to all other teams this year and deserved the title.
Didn't have much of a choice this season with mourinho's style of play.
Next season he has to change his style as the majority of fans already want him out.
Very hard to retain the title the next season, so it will be interesting to see the challengers next year.

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[Janine]

The JWs in my town always set up in the high street just where we like to busk.

Surrounded by 30 Ukulele players, they soon surrender

 

[Nasher]

I think I would rather listen to JWs than read comments about stupid football on this thread