- Sep 25, 2018
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- Chausson 628eb Ford 170
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- September 2019
Tales of heroism
Last night following a good supper, handsome international jet setter Paul Bridgestock and his latest flame, Valerie, reputed by the British press to be an ex-Mafia 'moll', were resting from their labours (and the 3 bottles of wine and complimentary Metaxa brandy). 3am came and went. Von Paulus could not sleep as he was worrying about the 5 kittens that had surrounded their table during dinner.
He had refused to feed them as he did not want to get too attached to them. He still worries and feels guilty (yes I do, really!) about a dog that they had come across almost 30 years ago in Greece and did not want to feel guilty about 5 kittens for the rest of his life.
However despite his good intentions his guilt had no rest. From 1am until that time the kittens had been playing around Claude the camping car, running underneath and they could be clearly heard through the open windows.
Suddenly, a squeal and a screech rang through the eerily silent evening! Valance woke and said 'what the hell is that'. Paul's lithe, toned young body leapt into action and he athletically sprang up in bed. From the window he could see that the little white and brown kitten was chasing something under the camping car. Out it ran and leapt over the concrete edge into the sea. The kitten flew in exactly the same direction and at speed and disappeared over the edge with a large splash and a shriek!.
'Bloody hell' screamed a startled Von Paulus. 'The kitten is going to drown'! He sprang orrrfff the bed and leapt out of the doorway rather like a bullet from a gun. No wonder he was nicknamed 'Super Paulus' by so many people.
He ran across to the edge, or rather, he started too. In his sleepiness he had forgotten the sharp gravel covering which he had jumped out onto. The pain was excruciating! Bugger! Ouch! Christ! and many other similar expletives rang out through the night.
He persevered despite the agony and got too the edge ready to leap in to save said kitten. At that point he nearly had a bloody heart attack. The kitten shot up in the air like a Polaris missile directly before Von Paulus's eyes. The poor little thing had swum back and climbed up the wall like a............well, like a wet cat climbing up a wall to escape a soggy death. It's eyes were wide open as it passed Paulus's head and the expression of 'it's all your bloody fault' was clear to see.
Chastened and in too much pain to even think about wet pussy jokes, Von Paulus crawled back to the camping car. He opened the freezer for a well earned drink of chilled water. Mouth dry from all the excitement and daring do, he greedily drank direct from the bottle. Glug, glug............glug............What was that weird flavour? The water tasted terrible! Glug...........Oh crap! It was not water but a plastic bottle of wine that a passing Greek seller had sold him earlier in the day. Not of the absolute highest quality to start with and when half a litre was drunk in one long slurp it was not at its best. It was a rude reward for his heroism...........
The tale continues.............
Last night following a good supper, handsome international jet setter Paul Bridgestock and his latest flame, Valerie, reputed by the British press to be an ex-Mafia 'moll', were resting from their labours (and the 3 bottles of wine and complimentary Metaxa brandy). 3am came and went. Von Paulus could not sleep as he was worrying about the 5 kittens that had surrounded their table during dinner.
He had refused to feed them as he did not want to get too attached to them. He still worries and feels guilty (yes I do, really!) about a dog that they had come across almost 30 years ago in Greece and did not want to feel guilty about 5 kittens for the rest of his life.
However despite his good intentions his guilt had no rest. From 1am until that time the kittens had been playing around Claude the camping car, running underneath and they could be clearly heard through the open windows.
Suddenly, a squeal and a screech rang through the eerily silent evening! Valance woke and said 'what the hell is that'. Paul's lithe, toned young body leapt into action and he athletically sprang up in bed. From the window he could see that the little white and brown kitten was chasing something under the camping car. Out it ran and leapt over the concrete edge into the sea. The kitten flew in exactly the same direction and at speed and disappeared over the edge with a large splash and a shriek!.
'Bloody hell' screamed a startled Von Paulus. 'The kitten is going to drown'! He sprang orrrfff the bed and leapt out of the doorway rather like a bullet from a gun. No wonder he was nicknamed 'Super Paulus' by so many people.
He ran across to the edge, or rather, he started too. In his sleepiness he had forgotten the sharp gravel covering which he had jumped out onto. The pain was excruciating! Bugger! Ouch! Christ! and many other similar expletives rang out through the night.
He persevered despite the agony and got too the edge ready to leap in to save said kitten. At that point he nearly had a bloody heart attack. The kitten shot up in the air like a Polaris missile directly before Von Paulus's eyes. The poor little thing had swum back and climbed up the wall like a............well, like a wet cat climbing up a wall to escape a soggy death. It's eyes were wide open as it passed Paulus's head and the expression of 'it's all your bloody fault' was clear to see.
Chastened and in too much pain to even think about wet pussy jokes, Von Paulus crawled back to the camping car. He opened the freezer for a well earned drink of chilled water. Mouth dry from all the excitement and daring do, he greedily drank direct from the bottle. Glug, glug............glug............What was that weird flavour? The water tasted terrible! Glug...........Oh crap! It was not water but a plastic bottle of wine that a passing Greek seller had sold him earlier in the day. Not of the absolute highest quality to start with and when half a litre was drunk in one long slurp it was not at its best. It was a rude reward for his heroism...........
The tale continues.............
