I've just had the weekend from hell and I blame myself

Discussion in 'Motorhome Chat' started by roadster55, Jul 4, 2016.

  1. roadster55

    roadster55 Funster

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    Yesterday was the first nice day for some time here in Cornwall so I decided to take us (my little dog and I) for a treat day out as she can't walk very far these days. We drove up onto Dartmoor and it was beautiful and clear. As usual Kimberley was full of beans as she usually is on outings.

    I made a massive error in deciding to use my toilet after opening the side door on my transit. It was a warm day and she was panting a bit. Whilst helpless on the loo Kimberley must have had some urge for freedom or maybe she just wanted to get out and explore, but she leaped out the side door like she was a 2 year old again.

    I heard no noise, no yelp, no cry of pain, nothing. But when I rushed outside she was just lying there on her front. I picked her up but she just slid back down again as if paralysed. I phoned the emergency vet and drove her straight there which took about an hour.

    She was given painkillers but the prognosis was not good. I took her home and she was unable to get up beyond just her front. She couldn't go to toilet, eat or drink herself. It was a heart-rending night. If I left the room to go elsewhere in the flat she cried because she follows me everywhere.

    This morning the vets returned and took her away and she is now gone.

    I blame myself totally for what happened and I have let both her and my late mum down.
     
  2. Bailey58

    Bailey58 Funster Life Member

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    What an awful thing to happen but she did what she wanted to do and if it hadn't happened there on beautiful Dartmoor it would have happened somewhere else and at a time when you weren't around. You can't blame yourself, just look back and remember the good life she had and the memories you'll keep forever. RIP little girl.
     
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  3. Jim

    Jim Ringleader

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    A very sad story, you did everything you could. Please don't blame yourself.
     
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  4. roadster55

    roadster55 Funster

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    But what was I thinking opening that side door before lifting her out like I usually do? That decision is going to haunt me for the rest of my life. My late mum entrusted me with her care and I've let both down so badly.
     
  5. reckless

    reckless Funster

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    So very sorry to hear this. Please try not to blame yourself, how could you have known what would happen?
    You have some sad days ahead but remember the good times.
     
  6. Anthea M

    Anthea M Funster

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    Sorry to hear of poor Kimberley and you must feel very sad. But don't blame yourself you and your mum gave her a happy and wonderful life .
    Her time had come and how wonderful to be up on Dartmoor for one last time.
    Take care and give yourself time to grieve. :hugs:Sending hugs.
     
  7. Anthea M

    Anthea M Funster

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    I've bet you've done this before and she was ok! It was just her time , try not to blame yourself.
     
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  8. Carol

    Carol Funster Life Member

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    The very last thing your mum would want is for you to be blame yourself for something which was an accident it sounds as if you gave Kimberly all the love and care you could, you can't wrap them in cotton wool, she was happy off doing what dogs do, so you left the door open and she went, she will be with your mum now, think of the good memories mourn Kimberley, but don't be so hard on yourself. Sending you sympathy and strength to reflect on the good times.
     
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2016
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  9. movan

    movan Funster Life Member

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    You havn't let ANYBODY down. You gave a little dog love and care and it is not your fault that she did what little dogs do .. explore and look for fun. You cannot keep your eye on her 24/7 .. no matter how you try. You have probably done other things in the past where she may have hurt herself .. left her after a cuddle on the high couch? Nothing happened. Life is about living and just normality .. it sounds as though the little one's time may have been up and if she was so vulnerable it could easily have happened anyway in a simple way.

    What a lovely way to go .. if I can choose then the sheer pleasure of leaping for freedom into the countryside doesn't sound too bad. Smile and remember she was one lucky little dog who was loved.

    Post a photo to us, tell us about her, feel honoured that you did your best and that is all any of us can do.

    Hugs.
     
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  10. Tea Bag

    Tea Bag Funster

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    Hi.
    She was with you,in a place you both love,when her time was up. Not for her,the traumatic times of various treatments ,daily pain,long stays in Vets premises,as nice as they are. Time will heal the broken heart,memories of great jaunts out,comical instances will come to mind and you will smile,as long as you remember her,she will never die. We are carrying 5,long gone,with number six growler on the last furlong,memories that will last forever.So chin up,the bonus is,you will never be alone.
    Tea Bag
     
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  11. MH 55 FUN

    MH 55 FUN Funster

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    Please accept our empathy & sympathy for your sad loss.

    As others have stated. please don't blame yourself.

    Best wishes. (y)
     
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  12. chaser

    chaser Funster

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    Sorry for your dog but I'm afraid I don't understand what happened, was it just the jump or heart attack or what:(
     
  13. SC 05 OUT

    SC 05 OUT Funster

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    you did nothing wrong, things happen, grive, cry, shout if it helps but please dont blaim yourself it WAS NOT you fault
     
  14. Jagtazman

    Jagtazman Funster

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    Sorry to hear off your loss. You can not blame yourself as much as you feel like you need to.
    Best wishes
     
  15. Figaro

    Figaro Funster

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    So sorry to hear this sad tale, every dog lovers worst nightmare, but definately an accident and not your fault. Don't blame yourself.
    Give her a good send off and treasure memories
     
  16. Madeinengland

    Madeinengland Funster

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    Really really feel for you :cry: but as for blaming yourself, as others have said you just shouldn't. Every time you think a guilty thought, check yourself, and think of one of numerous lovely things you did for Your mum's little dog.
    Xx
     
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  17. buttons

    buttons Funster

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    That is a sad story but dont blame yourself as already said,you were there and you did the best for her. It is a sad day when friends leave us.
     
  18. Kevinthecat

    Kevinthecat Funster

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    What an awful end to a beautiful day.
    Listen, you let no one down, you loved Kimberly and she had a fantastic life with you. She loved you and stuck to you like glue, she died doing something she wanted to do and that was jumping out of the van.
    Please don't blame yourself, think of the time you had with her and all the love and happiness that you gave to each other.
    As for your mum , she would never want you to blame yourself or beat your self up over this . ( that's what mums are like, they love you unconditionally )
    Take care.
     
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  19. scammellmanswife

    scammellmanswife Funster

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    If you could turn back the clock you would no doubt have done things differently.....but inevitably it was her time to go. Beating yourself up over how it happened won't change things .....someone on here told me ,when I was having a low moment about my mum, that guilt was a wasted emotion and I do believe it has helped me to be move on and I hope you can too. Your little dog was loved and cared for right till the end and you were there to help in her last moments what more could your mum have asked of you !
     
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  20. Irishrover

    Irishrover Read Only Funster

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    So sad to hear this, but as everybody has said.....Dont blame yourself. RIP little girl.
     
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