Wild camping is bullshit

Discussion in 'Motorhome Chat' started by Jim, May 8, 2014.

  1. Jim

    Jim Ringleader

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    Well wild 'parking' was for me last night! :Eeek: Found a nice place for a kip at around midnight. It looked like a coach or lorry park outside a major northern metropolis, to be honest when the family is with me I take great care where we park (Mr Security an all that) but I'm never too bothered on my own, I'll stop anywhere. Anyway, cup of tea and a wind down and I got into bed at around 1am hoping to get at least 7 hours and be fully rested for my 11am appointment.

    At 3 am precisley I was woken by an alien like noise, so loud I swear it shook the van, whatever it was I was sure it was in the van with me, I leapt up ready for a fight, banged my head hard on the roof (drop down bed) I fumbled and fell again as fought to put my shorts on. Alien or not, it would not have been a fair fight if I fought it naked. Then there were more noises louder and more urgent than before, I quickly realised the noise was not in the van, but right outside.

    with the van pitch dark I slowly pulled down the blind not knowing what I'd see. There it was, two foot from my window, bloody great cows were coming down the ramp of a truck, then they all started with their big bellowing MMOOOOOOOO, and they stumbled down and out

    I was parked in the unloading bay of a livestock market and now I'm knackered:Rofl1::Rofl1:
     
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  2. joner8888

    joner8888 Read Only Funster

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    You should have mooved :Doh:
     
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  3. Flyingscotsman2

    Flyingscotsman2

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    Wen u banged your head did u damaged the motorhome......:Eeek: :Rofl1:
     
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  4. Scattycat

    Scattycat Funster

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    :Rofl1:i
    :Rofl1::Rofl1::Rofl1:
     
  5. joner8888

    joner8888 Read Only Funster

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    If they were aliens , and you exposed yourself to them, would they have laughed / run / probed or zapped you :BigGrin:
     
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  6. poki

    poki Funster

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    oh dear :Rofl1::Rofl1:
     
  7. RS_rob

    RS_rob Funster

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    Aliens mutilate cows so the noise probably was an alien space craft landing to catch the good ones early.........
     
  8. Tincataylor

    Tincataylor Funster

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    There must have been udder places you could have camped, at least that's what I herd......................

    The Tinca's
     
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  9. Wildbill

    Wildbill Funster

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    did you have to mooooooov over :Rofl1:there must have been signs Jim but not as we know it :Rofl1:
     
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  10. GJH

    GJH Funster Life Member

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    A major northern metropolis with a livestock market?

    I know you live in the wilds but Thirsk and Darlington are hardly big places :Laughing:
     
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  11. ourcampersbeentrashed

    ourcampersbeentrashed Funster

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    no photos then Jim????

    Awww bless - at least you werent being burgled or parts stolen off the motorhome.

    One mans woes etc................

    I havent laughed so much in ages picturing you all amongst a zillion cows and men in white coats :Rofl1::Rofl1::Rofl1::Rofl1::Rofl1:

    Thanks so much for sharing this with us :thumb::thumb::thumb::thumb:
     
  12. Barney23

    Barney23 Funster

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    Plenty rattle round my van, never cattle though :BigGrin:
     
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  13. Gooney

    Gooney Funster

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    Wasn't Uddersfield was it?
     
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  14. Bailey58

    Bailey58 Funster Life Member

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    We wilded in a layby Norway many years ago in a trailer tent. Woke up to a loud motorised noise in the morning to find the local council cutting the grass verge all around us. Took as a while to pack up and get away. :Doh:


     
  15. grumps147

    grumps147 Funster

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    Have all the jokes been milked from this thread yet?
     
  16. Bailey58

    Bailey58 Funster Life Member

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    No, it's a cock and bull story if ever I heard one. :Smile:
     
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  17. GJH

    GJH Funster Life Member

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    This reminds me of a friend hiring a car to take his mother on holiday around 45 years ago. Driving along a country road they came across a herd of cows walking to milking in the opposite direction. He couldn't do anything but stop until they were past but, unfortunately one cow decided to climb over the car and put one of its feet through the boot lid.
    As it was a hire car, despite no injury to any person or cow, he decided to report the incident to the police:
    "Good morning sir, can I help you?"
    "I'd like to report a car accident".
    "Oh yes sir, what happened?"
    "A cow hit me"
    "You hit a cow sir?"
    "No, a cow hit me"

    Apparently it took quite some time to sort out :Laughing:
     
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  18. suavecarve

    suavecarve Funster

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    Were you fresian without any clothes on ?
     
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  19. ludo

    ludo Funster Life Member

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    Did you put the cattle on and have a cuppa?
    You really have something to beef about now Jim.
    It must have been a load of bullocks!
    Hoof hearted Jim? You!
     
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  20. currynutter

    currynutter Funster

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    Didnt place you as a cowherd
     
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