Toll Tales Anyone ?

Discussion in 'Motorhome Chat' started by snowdrops, Sep 21, 2014.

  1. snowdrops

    snowdrops Funster Life Member

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    I thought I'd start a thread specifically on Tolls, be they in France, UK, anywhere. Just funny or awkward toll-related situations.

    Ours comes from our recent French trip, we went with the mister driving and me nagging, oops, I mean navigating :D Given that I'm currently in a sling with dislocated shoulder, we hadn' t bargained on my 'practical input' ! At our first, at Calais, I just sat looking at both slots out of reach and being unable to even get out to fathom out the process. I tried stuffing the money into random holes but zilch !! Eventually, the hubby had to leap out of the driving seat, run around the toll, muttering, sort it and leap back. I then had a screaming fit as I thought the barrier would come down, "drive you madman, for goodness sake!! " He calmly said that there were sensors and we weren't gonna be crushed in some holiday tragedy.

    A few journeys later, when I was getting confident and knew how to lean over, and that there were two levels of tickets, I tried taking a ticket, then realised there wasn't one, it was a different type of toll :cry: I looked back to the driver behind pointing ridiculously at the holes in the hope he may help out rather than looking completely annoyed, he didn't. I even tried to stuff a note into the hole that turned and grinded, turns out that was coins only ! Then we discovered the beauty of our Clarity credit card.......... it worked in every toll, no shouting, no domestics, no furious tailgaters :D :party3: Lesson learned, so we can go back to France after all.
     
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  2. icantremember

    icantremember Funster

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    Yep .... there was an occasion when her ladyship, with short arms, was leaning well out the window trying to reach the slot and was straining against her seat belt.
    Anyway, being the helpful soul I am and seeing her predicament I thought I would assist by snapping her belt open ....... good job she has a big bum or she would have shot out the window.:Eeek:
     
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  3. old-mo

    old-mo Funster Extra Special Life Member

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    Last winter driving down through Spain.... we pulled into a toll booth to pay... put the card in to see how much...

    Up on the screen it comes 18.42 euros.... wife put`s her card in to pay and it got spat out.... a voice kept coming over the intercom thing repeating herself every time wife put credit card in...

    I got out and stomped up to the machine and shouted... I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... Yes I did lose my rag and shout...

    Then a bloke walked up from some where and said in reasonable English this is a Lorry lane or some thing like that..:doh:

    So had to reverse out with the RV and trailer and go in a proper pay booth...

    For ten minutes I had been screaming and shouting at a recorded message... :RollEyes::blush::blush::whistle2:
     
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  4. icantremember

    icantremember Funster

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    Well you are "EXTRA SPECIAL" now Mo so the machine should not argue with you.
     
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  5. Munchie

    Munchie Funster Life Member

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    Did the toll past Barcelona ok then came off to go the aire at Le Beuleu (spelling) there is a toll when you come off the toll (i know) which said 70centimes! Steph duly puts it in.....nuffin! After much foreign language from her (don't think it was French) and a bloody great queue behind us tooting their horns.....very helpful! She put a €1 in....lo and behold the barrier raised doh!!!!
     
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  6. snowdrops

    snowdrops Funster Life Member

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    Lol I can relate, the slots are either up in the air or too low. At one point the fella shouted, "well they're not aware of your shortness" !
     
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  7. Geordies

    Geordies Funster

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    While in France over the last few weeks Sheila has had to get out of the cab each time to either take the ticket or pay the money.

    But the one which threw us entirely was joining the A26 from a minor road just south of Calais, we approached what we thought was a ticket machine as we were joining the motorway. But it just asked for money, we had no ticket to put in so we stood there puzzled for minutes until a helpful French guy pointed out that it was a fixed fee road and we just had to pay the amount (which we could not see as the sun was shinning on the display).
     
  8. scotjimland

    scotjimland Funster Life Member

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    yes Mo, I can relate.. been there done that.. and reversing an RV with a trailer is quite an art..

    also ripped a rear view mirror clean off in a ' cars only' booth :rolleyes:

    we live and learn.. :whistle:
     
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  9. Mack100

    Mack100 Funster

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    Yesterday We had " un grand failure de Sanef electronic thingy".
    Probably was due to the fact that we motored into the camions lane but it failed to recognise our trusty Sanef doofer. Cue mrs mack throwing an unusual fit and forcing her credit card into the wrong hole in the robot thingy.

    Cue entire meltdown of toll system ( apologies to Funsters delayed by 12 hours or more) and we were screamed at to "Alle vite
     
  10. Barclaybasher

    Barclaybasher Funster

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    A few years ago I went through France in a Renault Espace, as I approached a manned booth, couldn't understand why the lady inside was waving frantically .......

    ....until the height barrier came crashing down behind me.....

    .... I'd forgotten all about the settee tied on the roof rack:doh:..........even she laughed...along with everyone else :clap2:


    sometimes you just wish the ground would just open up.................


    :doh:
     
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  11. 1_man_and_his_dob(lo)

    1_man_and_his_dob(lo) Funster

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    Yep. About 20 years ago, when there was only one Severn crossing and I was commuting across it daily I switched to using the "tag" pre-pay method rather than cash...

    ...and the first day I used it, I got the lanes mixed up and found myself in the coin-bin lane, with no change. Ended up with the lane closed and one of the staff helping me get to the nearest "tag" lane :oops:

    What a muppet! (n)
     
  12. Chris

    Chris Funster Life Member

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    I reckon I was behind you.

    There is always one:devil:
     
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  13. 1_man_and_his_dob(lo)

    1_man_and_his_dob(lo) Funster

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    Yes....sorry about that :D

    As payback....ever since I always seem to pick the slowest moving lane. Happened again last week on the 2nd Severn crossing. All the slower lorries/motorhomes/caravans I passed on the bridge were long gone by the time the slowcoaches in front of me had handed over all their 2 pence pieces :rollingeyes:
     
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  14. snowdrops

    snowdrops Funster Life Member

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    :eek: !!!! Nooooo !!! Cringing at the thought :/
     
  15. wingman

    wingman Funster

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    Don't talk to me about tolls :mad:
    Last year at the Pont du Normandie, 16 million vehicles (I've been told a million times not to exaggerate :whistle:) were trying to filter into a few meagre lanes. A french guy let me in to the queue, but whilst concentrating on preventing anyone else taking advantage, he hit the back of my MoHo! That happened on the FIRST day of my hols.

    Took me almost a year to sort out the insurance claim even though he didn't avoid or deny blame.

    On a different note, my tip at foreign tolls is to hang back and let the tear-arses pass. Then you've got time to look at the gantry, sort out the correct lane and look for the dot matrix signs indicating either the coloured 'ticket' or 'man taking money' or coin icons. I've even put my hazard lights on a few hundred yards back. The French really appreciate the heads-up and 'let's get past this English idiot' signal (y)
     
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  16. Jim

    Jim Ringleader

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    I must say before I tell you this story, that we find the Portugese to be the one of the most friendly Europeans we meet. None of the indifference or chin pointing that some Spanish employ toward tourists. But one toll booth operator must have been having a bad day.

    The Toll Road.
    We used one section of peaje on a recent trip in Portugal but the ticket box at the entry to this section of road was out of action, there was a machine there but it had a cover on it. We had a good look around and there was nowhere to get a ticket so we preceded without one. I did note at the time there was a new gantry of cameras covering this section so I thought they must be fazing the old ticket system out and going with the new automatic transponder system.

    So when 50 miles later, I saw a toll booth, expecting just a fixed fee I handed over my credit card, but the operator looked at me as if I was stupid and literally shouted "Bilheteira Bilheteira" She showed us a ticket "Bilheteira Bilheteira" as if she thought we were mega stupid or might have taken one but forgotten about it.

    "No Bilheteira.... "No Ticket" I responded, palms skyward, Sian leaned across me flashing her big smile... "Bilheteira box Covered up" then miming putting a cover on a box :BigGrin: The toll booth lady shouted a sentence we did not understand but we were sure it was a curse, rolled her eyes, punched a button or two and up on the screen "€78 tarifa pena" She was in a stinking mood and was charging us a penalty fare:Eeek:

    Quick as a flash, my head and shoulders are out of the window as I try to grab my card from her grasp, quicker than that, she deftly swaps it into her other hand. Ignoring my shouts of No não No. she looks me in the eye as she swipes it through her machine ... Sian trying to get through my window now and shouting "Your Bilheteira Box was covered up you stupid :swear2:

    I slumped back in my seat, bugger, if only I'd not been so keen to hand over our card... Well we live and learn. "Calm down Sian it's only money"

    She hands the card back "mau cartão" and I say "Gracias" in my best Spanish (as someone had told me earlier that speaking Spanish to Portugese winds them up) and she repeats "mau cartão - Card no good" It's then that I realise she has not charged my debit card, her machine refused it and she wants another.

    The broadest smile falls upon my face as I tell her through it, that I have no other cards and no cash. She remonstrates some more and then proper fuming she stomps out of her booth and into a small office.. We wait.. she comes out after a few minutes and records our registration then goes back in. we wait some more..

    She comes back to the booth and without even a look in our direction she opens the barrier. "Nos Vemos" I shout in my best Spanish and were through.

    No bill at home yet...:BigGrin:
     
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  17. Flyingscotsman2

    Flyingscotsman2

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    Glad u never got snappy Jim ......:rofl:
     
  18. DJA

    DJA Funster

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    Whilst travelling with friends in Spain who struggle with any form of Toll Booth or Fuel Pump the following happened.

    I was in our MH and was first to arrive at the Booth. I stopped crawled across and leaning out of the cab window sorted things out. I duly drew away from the Booth and stopped about 60 mtrs further on at the side waiting.

    SHMBO was behind me in a hire car with the other lady. They duly sorted out the Toll and SHMBO drove forward to park behind me whilst our friends OH decided to wait to help her OH to get their MH through.

    Eventually, and I mean eventually, the barrier went up and instead of our friends wife getting in their van she started walking 60mtrs across the the Toll Booth area to join my other half in the car. Of course the last thing she had on her mind was a yellow jacket. Her other half moved their van in a way to protect her from any danger from other vehicles using the Booths.

    We then set off and after about 100mtrs drove through the narrow gap in the cones put down by the 6 Spanish Police Officers who were checking vehicles and had been standing watching all this.

    They just smiled as we drove through.
     
  19. wanderer

    wanderer Funster

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    We were travelling on a long section of toll in France and i nudged the better half to warn her of the payment booth as we pulled up to the manual operator i thought she doesn,t seem quite with it , as he requested ticket she handed him a supermarket receipt "non ticket " she then went into panic mode offering all sorts of bits of paper that she had handy and he was getting crosser and crosser , she found the ticket in the end on the floor under her feet .

    Just to show we can both be stupid i pulled into a french filling station for lpg gas did all the connecting fine pressed the button for gas "nothing" lots of french over the intercom and marched the attendant did something on the pump and marched off muttering . So i pressed the button again "nothing" this time all the other motorists are staring at me and the attendant is shouting out he marches gesturing and shouting to the other customers points to the button speaks to me in French and marches off . So for the third time i press the button and absolute mayhem errupts on the forecourt , luckily a french guy walks over and explains to me that i am pressing the emergency stop button which turns of all the pumps . Got my gas in the end and left with a very red face.
     
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  20. snowdrops

    snowdrops Funster Life Member

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    Lol Wanderer, v funny. I can empathise with your better half, I frantically clutched at all sorts of things before I found a toll ticket, next to my credit card and in my hand the whole time !!!!
     
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