Bikers, I need your story/Blog

Discussion in 'Motorhome Chat' started by Billy23, May 11, 2014.

  1. Billy23

    Billy23 Funster

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    I do hope Jim will allow this as a post, it is not for another MH site so here goes.

    I have just added a "Blog" to my biker website and could do with a few blogs, or stories from any motorhome bikers, just to get it all going.

    The site is beds4bikers.com, perhaps you would have a look and if you think you could help out, PM me and I will send you my email and you can send the "Blog" and I will get it up on site.

    Thanks for any help given.:thumb:
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2014
  2. Billy23

    Billy23 Funster

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    Just in case you missed it. Bump:thumb:
     
  3. longdog

    longdog Funster

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    Hi, I have some hotels that I have stayed at when touring solo and with friends,
    I need to put a list together but I would be happy to do that. I will also put your website address on a couple of the motorbike sites that I frequent too.
     
  4. Carol

    Carol Funster Life Member

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    Hi Billy, a bit unrelated but in the same vane a interesting bike blog going on
    'One Steph Beyond'. Or ' Steph around the world'.

    Good luck with yours.
     
  5. Jaws

    Jaws Funster Life Member

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    Most of my stories are long winded.. But I can offer a tip for travellers on bikes when using Etap or Formula 1 motels.

    Before you park the bike up for the night and take your luggage off etc, have a wander around the car park.

    If there is broken glass from a car window, move on.

    Chances are there are thieves working the area and unless you can park your bike INSIDE somewhere it could be a target ( A nod towards a certain Blue Dog for that tip.. :thumb: )
     
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  6. Billy23

    Billy23 Funster

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    Hi Jaws

    I like long winded, send me one....or two. :thumb:
     
  7. Jaws

    Jaws Funster Life Member

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    Tad busy at the moment mate but will try and stick something together..
    Esp something of my times with my family when I was young. What my nan an grandad did seemed to be one disaster after another.. He ( grandad ) was somewhat forgetful and not too mindfull of nans carrying ons.. Looking back now I have no doubt others will find the stories too outrageous to believe ( such as the time grandad 'lost' the sidecar on a roundabout and just never noticed it gone !!!!!! )
     
  8. Jaws

    Jaws Funster Life Member

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    Right...
    I remembered something that I was asked to do for a magazine a few years ago.. Ended up being in a few mags cos they syndicated it...
    It will get you started at least..
    Pick out the stuff you want ( if any ! ) and dump the rest :thumb:





    How not to tour and other interesting facts.

    A few words about myself. I was born quite young and much to my shame have steadily got older. Although I look 80 I am really 19. A wicked witch did this to me!
    At the age of 14 and ¾ I collected my first bike, swiftly followed by my first introduction to the lovely boys in blue and the first of many visits to the local court !
    In 1971 I moved to Norfolk in the east of England ( mainly to get away from plod ! ).
    I have had way too many bikes, women, and careers ( though not necessarily in that order ! ) to list
    here, but have over the years managed to rack up some serious miles/promotions/diseases.

    Life with bikes started when I was about 5 years old. My old man and my granddad both had outfits, and most weekends during the summer would see the whole family doing the outing thing.
    So many absolutely unbelievable stories from that time.
    One of the most memorable was when my nan decided to save time by boiling a kettle of water whilst still going along. She fired up the primus stove in the double adult chair, and put a kettle of water on it. All went well to start with, as she was able to hold the kettle and primus upright. Unfortunately as time went on the bits became too hot to hold, and she eventually let it all go. If the water had spilled from the kettle I expect all would have been well, but noooo, sods law dictates that when you want water to spill, it aint gonna.
    The meths spilt from the stove and managed to catch fire to some of the debris in the bottom of the chair. We were riding behind at the time, and was amazed to see what looked like my nans own personal fog rising in the sidecar. Granddad, oblivious to all this, just kept going. In the end nan punched out a little side window and hit her old man to attract attention. He stopped and released her from her home made broiler. Now you may think that was the end of it… With the smouldering crap cleared out of the chair we moved on again. But within a couple of miles my dad had to stop our outfit because he was laughing too much to do anything else. Seems that the small fire had done a little structural damage to the chair. My nan had somehow managed to stick her foot through the now weakened plywood floor and was completely stuck, with said foot and ankle dangling out the bottom.
    Handy hint. Do NOT light fires in sidecars.
    There are lots more like this, but they really are from a time that is not even vaguely relevant!

    At the tender age of 16 I joined a touring club. Back then with nowt but old Brit crap to ride you did well to go more that 10 miles… but I managed to do most of Britain on a 250 Enfield and a 350 Arial.
    The Arial was a nightmare, as every time it rained water got into the mag-dyno unit and the spark soon became conspicuous by its absence. After trying all kindsa stuff I ended up sealing the thing with a couple of cans of hair spray…. Never let me down again.
    Handy hint. You may not have any hair left, but hair spray in an essential part of a tool kit.

    By 17 I was an old hand, and when the family decided to holiday in Minehead ( some 200 miles away ) I declared my independence and said I was going on my bike. Except MY bike was a pile of shite BSA B33 with an exhaust valve that bore no resemblance to the hole it was supposed to fill. Never mind, says a friend, take my spare… which turned out to be a poxy Vespa 125 Sportique. Eleven hours that journey took.
    I left Minehead two days before the rest of family. Took the time to wend my way back to London via back roads that I doubt even exist now. When it got dark I found a field and crashed out. Simple as that. It was then that I learnt bikes are not all high speed, but just as much about freedom.
    Handy hint. Enjoy the ride. After all, that’s why your doing it all in the first place.

    In '70 I did the Dragon Rally. I had rebuilt a BSA A10 outfit for the occasion. I was such a great mechanic that it got me all the way to the end of the road before a rod made a bid for freedom. Ended up doing the 250 miles to Rhyl in North Wales on a mates 175 Bantam. Not to be recommended.
    Handy hint for rally goers. Just cos its freezing cold, do not be tempted to pitch the tent too close to the big fire.
    I went to sleep with a whole tent and woke up with a hole and no tent.


    Touring the UK can be fun, but can be fraught with unexpected problems. Like the time I set off from a camp site in Cornwall in thick fog. Ended that day's riding less than ten minutes later when I managed to park the bike firmly up a cow's backside. The shock of being hit made the poor thing vent its surprise in the standard way, and it took two days to get all the cow dung off of the bike and me.
    Handy hint. Cow shit should be removed QUICKLY. Once dried it is very difficult to remove from clothing.

    Even on nice sunny days there is always something to catch you out. Like when I stopped to go to the loo, and returned to find some evil scrote had made off with both my bloody panniers!
    Handy hint. Lock everything. Even if your leaving it for a couple of minutes.

    Best touring has got to be France. Roads like racetracks, and drivers who not only know your there, but give way with a smile. Where ever you go in France bikers always seem to be welcome.. well almost every where. We had decided to plot up for the night in a small town called Villerville, on the coast of the Seine Bay. The town is really delightful. Small enough to be kinda cosy, but with enough amenities to make it a worthwhile stopping point. Like most small places, there are plenty of B & B's around. We pulled in to one such place and were immediately struck by the feeling we had been there before.
    Errrr, no… not quite. It was, without doubt, the place that the producers of 'Ello 'Ello had modelled Renea's ( sp ? ) café on. Right down to the woman who was in charge of the place, and the henpecked staff. We got a long lecture on how to use the toilet, and was told in no uncertain terms that the sink in the cupboard was not for washing in… turned out to be a bidet !
    Handy hint for travelling in France. Do not stop anywhere there are OAP's lingering.
    They will not only admire your bike but want to spend the next hour gabbling on about their ancient mounts.
    As neither I nor my son speak more than two words of French, this tended towards the boring, though someone fluent in ‘old fart’ might find it interesting.


    A few days in Wales looked good, especially when the owner of the local bike shop said he would tag along. A couple more guys joined us. One on a Bandit that had been ridden in to the ground … I saw trouble coming from that quarter !
    Rather than do the normal route, we decided to drop down to Gloucestershire and cross into Wales over the Severn Bridge, then work our way through the back roads to end up at Caernarfon Castle in the north. We crossed in to Wales and started to wend our way into the mountains. We had not 'wended' too far when after stopping for gas, that bloody Bandit decided it had had enough. Just would not start…Fortunately it died more or less outside a B & B so we booked in for the night and then decided to look at the Zuk. All the time being glad that Barry from the bike shop was with us… Apart from the fact he is a top mechanic, he also had the wherewithal to call up a van if the worst happened.
    The seat and tank came off. Other bits came off…. But then with the ignition on we kinda found out what was wrong. The whole electrical circuit was dead. We nailed a battery in place from another bike. Nowt. Checked the fuses all ok…. Sod it… Call up the van .
    By the time the van arrived the following day it was almost 2 pm.. a whole day wasted.
    Driver got out and was about to load the bike up when he stopped dead.. Errr, lads… Should that large multi plug going to the ignition switch be off ? DOH ! The owner went kinda quiet… Seems that as any key fitted the bike, he would often pull the plug apart if he was leaving the thing anywhere. Obviously the last time he did it the plug was not put back properly.
    We eventually made the rest of the journey, but that bloody Bandit rider has been banned from all future rides.
    Handy hint. If it looks like a pile of shite it probably is. Leave the rider/bike at home.

    More recently I did Newcastle, Scarborough, Keswick plus various points in between, on a Blackbird Bash. I left Norfolk on Friday in brilliant sunshine, tent and various bits of kit strapped to the back of the bike.
    Sixty miles on and it started to rain. Apart from a brief respite on Saturday in continued to rain the whole weekend.
    Handy hint. Just cos you take a tent with you, do not be afraid of admitting defeat, and book in to a
    B & B if you and your kit is soaked through. Plenty of hero's out there with pneumonia, you do not have to be one of them.

    Well that is a serious load of old squit !
    Summation:
    Do not worry if your bike is right for the job. Providing it is mechanically sound there is no reason why you should not use any make/model. A couple of years ago on one of the French trips, my son went on his R6.
    No aches or pains, and by Christ we racked up the miles.

    More recently both Richard Scott ( The Scotties ) and myself have made Lake Garda a regular place to visit.. We usually take a couple of days, but I have done the ride alone and can do it with reasonable ease in a day.. But then I do tend to ‘make progress’ when I am alone

    I spent 2 days riding to Spain on a GSXR once ( had to deliver it ), and have ridden from Norfolk to Aberdeen and back in a day on an CX500
    Bottom line…. touring should never be 'do this on day one, that on day two', but just heading out there, and enjoying life, cos bikers have the very best way of doing it.
    One last handy hint. Do not over pack.
    Chances are you will not need 3 pairs of trousers, 16 tops, etc.
    Take the least you think you can get away with. Only real essentials are a credit card and mobile phone.
    Oh, and NEVER let anyone tell you your too old or too daft to tour :thumb:
     
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  9. Billy23

    Billy23 Funster

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    Jaws I LOVE it.........when you have time......more....more!:thumb:
     
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  10. Billy23

    Billy23 Funster

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  11. Jaws

    Jaws Funster Life Member

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    Cheers Billy :)

    I wonder, could you put the byline to Jaws at all ? That is how most folk know me :Wink::thumb:
     
  12. Billy23

    Billy23 Funster

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    Job done!! Thanks again.........I want more :BigGrin::thumb:
     
  13. Jaws

    Jaws Funster Life Member

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    Cheers Billy..
    Proly be a little while mate !
    Got the van coming on Friday ( so getting all the crap ready to go in it ), weekend is the BMF, then about 2 weeks of putting all the widgets back in and on the new van !!
     
  14. Billy23

    Billy23 Funster

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    Whenever you are ready mate, but after reading your first one....just got to have more. :Smile::thumb:
     
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