A new fad diet. Important!

Discussion in 'Motorhome Chat' started by Nirvanauk, Nov 28, 2012.

  1. Nirvanauk

    Nirvanauk Funster

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    Story by a Man standing in a queue in Tesco's.........

    I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Winalot
    (dog biscuits)
    in Tesco and was standing in the queue at the till. A woman behind me asked if I had a
    dog.

    On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again,
    although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
    time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive
    care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both
    arms.


    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it
    works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply
    eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is
    nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

    I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by
    now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

    Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
    because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been
    sitting in the road licking my balls and a car hit me.

    I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
    hard as he staggered out the door.

    Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??
     
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  2. Rayb182

    Rayb182 Funster Life Member

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    That reminds me of when I was a postie, I was emptying a pillar box and some woman came up to me and asked me "are you emptying the box"?, told her I was putting all the letters back in there, silly cow, reported me for insulance.
     
  3. rangitira

    rangitira Funster

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    I turned up at a job, in me decorators whites, Woman answered door, "Oh are you the Painter?"
    "No Mate Pastry Cook"

    "But it's not me Birthday till next month!"

    :Sad::Doh::Doh:
     
  4. icantremember

    icantremember Funster

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    Funny you should mention that, but when I was a postie we had a plonker in the office who did go out on his round one morning and posted all his mail in the nearest postbox and then walked off the job.:Doh:
     
  5. Trikimiki

    Trikimiki Read Only Funster

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    Many many moons ago we got a call to the local shopping centre, so we all jump out of the fire engines blue lights et al, clean yellow leggings, shiny silver buttons on a black wool tunic, and of course a fire helmet. Wee woman asks me, are you from the water board son?

    Before that when i was a bus conductor I opened the bus doors just as the driver was stopping, the passenger jumped off, SMACK, head first into the bus stop. Immediately grasping his head he turned and shouted...........What a Fu.....g stupid place to stop.
    And through our guffaws, as if practised the driver and I both shouted................What at a bus stop??
     
  6. lorger

    lorger Funster

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    While serving my apprenticeship I used to drive busses at weekend to supplement my wages, one Saturday morning a young lady got on and asked for a return when I asked where to she promptly replied here where else :Rofl1::Rofl1:
     
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