You shouldn’t laugh I know , but… (1 Viewer)

Jan 1, 2017
1,159
2,609
eastbourne
Funster No
46,681
MH
van conversion, Peug
Exp
4 years
Wife Just phoned the Mother in law shes all there but a bit mutton Jeff…
‘Hello mum you got any buttons?
Bacon?
No mum buttons
Muffins?
BUTTONS
Stuffing?
MUM, BUTTONS
Croutons what you want them things for?
What
Croutons?
Mum , (Oh Please! ) BUTTONS
Dripping?
No A BUTTON
Like on the remote?
No MUM BUTTONS LIKE ON YOUR COAT
Did you leave your coat here?

Gave up and did a personal visit…..bless her
 

Chris

LIFE MEMBER
May 5, 2010
21,007
274,566
Funster No
11,412
MH
None
Exp
10 years
My 94 yr old very deaf and poorly sighted neighbour who I keep an eye on asked me if I would take her to an appointment that her optician had made for her to see a specialist about her suspected detached rectum.
I would skip the examination if I was you.

Just in case.

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marchie

Free Member
Mar 9, 2021
2,279
6,140
Funster No
79,651
MH
Burstner
My 94 yr old very deaf and poorly sighted neighbour who I keep an eye on asked me if I would take her to an appointment that her optician had made for her to see a specialist about her suspected detached rectum.
Don't knock it! A detachable rectum could save a fortune on Tena Pads ... Just need a handle fitted so that you can carry it to an Elsan point and empty it, and the hose will do a better cleaning job than it does on a cassette, with the nooks and crannies that the latter has ... (y) :LOL:

Steve
 

Badknee

LIFE MEMBER
Aug 25, 2014
7,395
408,986
notloB
Funster No
33,046
MH
Vantage Neo
Exp
Living the dream.
Wife Just phoned the Mother in law shes all there but a bit mutton Jeff…
‘Hello mum you got any buttons?
Bacon?
No mum buttons
Muffins?
BUTTONS
Stuffing?
MUM, BUTTONS
Croutons what you want them things for?
What
Croutons?
Mum , (Oh Please! ) BUTTONS
Dripping?
No A BUTTON
Like on the remote?
No MUM BUTTONS LIKE ON YOUR COAT
Did you leave your coat here?

Gave up and did a personal visit…..bless her
I think you should get her to use txt 😂😂
 

marchie

Free Member
Mar 9, 2021
2,279
6,140
Funster No
79,651
MH
Burstner
'Mum, why have you got jelly and custard in one ear and cake sponge in the other ...?'

'You what, son? Don't mumble. Speak up! You know I'm a trifle deaf ...' (y) :rolleyes:

'Would you like some cold rice pudding, son?'

'Yes, please, Mum, it's my favourite!'

'Then you'll need to come back tomorrow, 'cos it's still hot ...'

Steve
 
Feb 5, 2020
2,370
88,430
Crosby
Funster No
68,535
MH
Smileo 202
Exp
Was a Newbie but getting the hang of it now.
Rectum - bloody destroyed them
happy birthday film GIF
 
Oct 7, 2013
5,867
36,736
South Wales
Funster No
28,463
MH
Swift Escape Compact
Exp
Since 1988
After my father’s funeral my cousin apologised to my mother saying he couldn’t stay overnight as he had been recalled to work.

My mother asked him “what is so important that you have to get back to work at MFI?”

Smiling gently he replied, “No aunty , it’s MI5 I work for”.
 

sedge

Funster
Jul 7, 2009
5,494
13,029
Nr Jct 3 M6
Funster No
7,396
MH
C class
Exp
Aug 09 to date 9,000 miles!
Parents of Citizen Smith's girlfriend (Power to the people!) during conversation including reference to MI5. Mum : 'We had our kitchen units from them, didn't we Char?' Dad Charlie after doing double take and grimacing, 'No dear -that was MFI,' through gritted teeth.

1977 vintage joke. The old ones are still the best !
 
Oct 7, 2013
5,867
36,736
South Wales
Funster No
28,463
MH
Swift Escape Compact
Exp
Since 1988
Parents of Citizen Smith's girlfriend (Power to the people!) during conversation including reference to MI5. Mum : 'We had our kitchen units from them, didn't we Char?' Dad Charlie after doing double take and grimacing, 'No dear -that was MFI,' through gritted teeth.

1977 vintage joke. The old ones are still the best !
Except that mine wasn’t a joke, it was reality.(y)

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Dec 24, 2014
9,034
46,438
Hurstpierpoint. Mid Sussex.
Funster No
34,553
MH
Compass Navigator
Exp
Ever since lighting was by Calor gas.
Reminds me of the granny who annoyed the youngsters at several weddings by always saying to each of them: "Your turn next!"
At a family funeral one of the youngsters turned to her gran and said with a smile: "Your turn next".

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