Women and bathrooms

[BusyBuilder]

What is it with bathrooms and women ?

My wife takes up 3 cupboards with all her 'stuff' even has some expensive water for washing her face

Me, if I have my shaver and some shampoo that'll do everything I need

 

[Figaro]

It's not just bathrooms, since our daughter left home my wife his filled the vacated wardrobes with excessive clothes buying, and don't get me started on shoes and coats grrrrrrr

Never heard of this expensive water for face washing and I hope she doesn't spot it or it'll be in our bathroom too !

 

[Stroppy Bird]

It's the other way round in our house. He could run a clinique for men counter with all the 'products' he has. However, anyone who tries to guess his age is usually out by about 10 years less (and he's not fifty yet) so I guess it's working for him.

I'm sure that he also has more footwear than me

 

[Badknee]

What is it with bathrooms and women ?

My wife takes up 3 cupboards with all her 'stuff' even has some expensive water for washing her face

Me, if I have my shaver and some shampoo that'll do everything I need

That's 'cos your a geezer, them wimmins is different

Wife spends £30 on some makeup, husband asks why? It's to make me look lovely for you.
Husband spends £30 on some beer, wife asks why spend so much? Husband replies, the same reason as you, it makes you look better

 

[Zains Pops]

Are you telling us that you don’t deep cleanse exfoliate and moisturise each day ...

I thought all rufty tufty motorhomers has certain standards to follow.

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[ctc]

Are you telling us that you don’t deep cleanse exfoliate and moisturise each day ...

I thought all rufty tufty motorhomers has certain standards to follow.

Deep cleanse, exfoliate and moisturize WHAT? Am I missing something? Do tell.

 

[Northernraider]

They don't get better with age either.

I'm currently parked up in my mum's drive , I have my clothes still in the van and have to bring the next days clothes in the day before as she's in a 4 bedroom house on her own and every wardrobe and chest of drawers is full of her clothes.
And don't start me on the bathroom cabinet
I've got to leave my razor deodorant and aftershave on the unit top cause no room in the cupboard lol.

 

[Zains Pops]

Deep cleanse, exfoliate and moisturize WHAT? Am I missing something? Do tell.

I suggest you :

1.visit the Trafford Centre and speak to those lovely ladies who are found in the perfume/ cosmetics area of any major department store and ask them about manly maintenance.

2. Or maybe visit the Canal street area of Manchester and ask for advice on manly maintenance.

3. Visit your local motor home dealer and ask them about the black arts of manly maintenance.

 

[Figaro]

Option 2. Should be undertaken with exetrme caution

 

[jdk62]

When The Beauty Terrorist was in Training, she decided to use me and my body as a test bed....

I’ve been waxed, pummelled, prodded, hot stoned, rubbed down, rubbed up, massaged, exfoliated, scraped, moisturised, buffed, caseyed, polished and trimmed.

It’s hard work being a test bed!!

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[Candapack]

When The Beauty Terrorist was in Training, she decided to use me and my body as a test bed....

I’ve been waxed, pummelled, prodded, hot stoned, rubbed down, rubbed up, massaged, exfoliated, scraped, moisturised, buffed, caseyed, polished and trimmed.

It’s hard work being a test bed!!

She could get good money for doing that in some places - eg Westminster?

 

[jdk62]

She could get good money for doing that in some places - eg Westminster?

Got the address?

 

[G-RMPS]

2. Or maybe visit the Canal street area of Manchester and ask for advice on manly maintenance.

Typo...it's anal street.

 

[Nosmo King]

Typo... it's anal treet

 

[Northernraider]

Option 2. Should be undertaken with exetrme caution

Good night out so I've heard

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[Northernraider]

When The Beauty Terrorist was in Training, she decided to use me and my body as a test bed....

I’ve been waxed, pummelled, prodded, hot stoned, rubbed down, rubbed up, massaged, exfoliated, scraped, moisturised, buffed, caseyed, polished and trimmed.

It’s hard work being a test bed!!

One of my good friends wife did a beauty therapist course ...some of the state's I used to find him in on a Friday night were hilarious

Always had a very nice complexion though ha ha

 

[Millcourt]

This is an actual review on amazon.co.uk for Veet Hair Removal for Men...

This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.

I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.

Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.

This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ".

Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet definitely removes unwanted hair !!

 

[mike mcglynn]

That brings to mind an incident in a changing room as my workmates and I were changing into our football kit for the annual interdepartmental football competition ,I was watching a chap rubbing liniment on his thigh/groin area and the smell of it was overpowering ,he had not played football for years and had bought it on the way to the stadium, all was going well until he stood up and his conkers were rubbing on his legs ,the screams and swearing were so loud that one of the match officials came in the dressing room to see what was happening .I picked up the bottle and it had a picture of a horse on it .He had to have a shower and came on late and was forever after known as Mr Ed.

 

[Northernraider]

This is an actual review on amazon.co.uk for Veet Hair Removal for Men...

This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.

I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.

At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.

Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .

Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.

This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ".

Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet definitely removes unwanted hair !!

I've seen that many times it's hilarious

Amazon has some great comedy reviews

 

[ambulancekidd]

The real trouble comes when men try to understand women, its rule one in the book of "how to be a man", don't do it.

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