What would you do? (1 Viewer)

[Big bus man]

Being a hard working honest bloke naturally I expect the rest of the population to be the same.
Where I work a middle aged guy in charge of the drawing office comes down to see me, maybe twice a month, a nice chatty bloke with a slightly sad background being his wife is disabled and his daughter has been very poorly plus the odd health issue himself, add this to typical financial worries and the increasing pressure from management to produce more work he has clearly taken to drinking, which includes driving. I thought why not have a quiet chat with a manager to find out if they were aware of the drinking problem this then gives someone else the problem to deal with instead of me, turns out they are aware and have been for some years.
So I have a dilemma, not wishing to upset the apple cart my preference would be to not get involved thus keep quiet but another part of me says what would I feel like if he kills someone whilst driving home 2 times a day.

What would you do?

 

[Judge Mental]

Difficult!
I would take him aside and quietly tell him to shape up for family's sake and if he don't stop the drink driving your conscience will force you to do something...

 

[Zigisla]

IMHO your answer lies in the llatter bit of your last sentence

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[Jaws]

Sorry.. I understand where you are coming from but god forbid he does for some poor innocent person cos he is 'under the weather' due to his imbibing falling down water think how much sadder he will be AND how sad the family of the victim will be

 

[Lynne Steele]

I agree with Judge, but if he doesn't stop drinking and driving you have no choice but report him, as the drinking and driving has horrendous consequences, both to innocent people and his family who need him.

Lynne

 

[Langtoftlad]

Hit him and hit him hard*
Ask him just how he'd look after his disabled wife if he was locked up for causing a death by drunk driving...
How would he cope if he was banned from driving, as it appears he drives to & from work frequently...
How would he support his family as it would likely he'd be fired if convicted.
How would he get another job.
Perhaps he thinks the chances of getting away with it are good? But if you know about his drinking problem, then others surely do - and they do because his management is already "aware".
You've had the 'courtesy' to speak to him directly, but the next one who notices might just ring the drink drive hotline.
Get him to call DrinkSense

[*not physically you understand]

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[DP+JAY]

I can't believe the company's response! They have legal duty to help him.

■ Employees with a drink problem have the same rights to confidentiality and support as they would if they had any other medical or psychological condition. ■ Disciplinary action should be a last resort. A court may find a dismissal unfair if an employer has made no attempt to help an employee whose work problems are related to drinking alcohol. ■ The cost of recruiting and training a replacement may be greater than the cost of allowing someone time off to obtain expert help. ■ Many people with an alcohol problem are able in time to regain full control over their drinking and return to their previous work performance. ■ It may be very difficult for people to admit to themselves or others that their drinking is out of control. They need to know that you will treat their drinking problem as a health problem rather than an immediate cause for dismissal or disciplinary action. ■ If employees’ drinking is a matter of concern, they should be encouraged to seek help from their GP or a specialist alcohol agency.

copied from,

Broken Link Removed

 

[Mikey RV]

If he relies on drink that much then it don't matter what you say to him it will fall on deaf ears, until sadly it's too late.

 

[Speve]

If he relies on drink that much then it don't matter what you say to him it will fall on deaf ears, until sadly it's too late.

Quite agree he will only stop when he either has an accident and someone is killed or he needs reporting ASAP God forbid him hitting someone at Christmas or any time come to that!

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[sdc77]

Call the Police on him and get him stopped driving before he kills someone

 

[magicsurfbus]

Buy him a breathalyser in the next round of Secret Santa?

More seriously, leave a breath tester anonymously where you know he'll find it. He might take the hint and help himself.

I'm surprised your manager admitted to knowing about your colleague's drink problem already - not very hot on employee confidentiality are they?

 

[FIDGET]

hard decision, but I,m afraid I would have to notify the authorities , I could not live with myself if something awful happened. !!

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[rangi]

I worked in a sawmill with a fella that brought with him every day 2, 1 gallon flagons of beer, 1/2 for morning smoko, 1 for lunch and the other 1/2 for Afternoon smoko. He was sole charge of a circular saw, that removed Knots from Stress graded timber, he worked in a shed on his own. Everyone knew "old Sid" was an alky
New Boss took over, he was going to sack him, for bringing grog into the workspace. As Site Delegate I argued, successfully, that he didn't, he drank his grog in his car, on the track outside the mill, and got him his job back.
I had a word with old Sid, told him he had a problem, and needed to get help, he acknowledged he did.

Then I kept an eye on him, but! and this will upset most who has posted on this thread, minded my own business.

Old Sid sought help, and came right, for a while anyway, till the Mill closed and threw 86 men on the scrap heap.

 

[Anthony496]

I'd shop the idiot without a single thought of his situation, he does not care about the situations of the thousands of motorists and pedestrians he puts at risk every time he gets behind the wheel.

 

[Baycott]

Unfortunately, if he is an alcoholic, which sounds likely, you will not persuade him to stop drink driving until he can admit to himself that he has a problem. If he can do that he can gut hell (AA). If not, you have a responsibility to inform the police IMHO.

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[parknride]

The managers have been aware for years?? He knows his family need him and still does it, can't help himself. Don't enable him, call the police next time he's in the car. He will probably lose his licence but he will be off the road not endangering himself and others.
My brother was alcoholic, would/could not listen and had an accident while collecting his daughter from school. No one was hurt, car written off lost his licence. Still died an alcoholic at 56 yrs old.

 

[CWH]

Hit him and hit him hard*
Ask him just how he'd look after his disabled wife if he was locked up for causing a death by drunk driving...
How would he cope if he was banned from driving, as it appears he drives to & from work frequently...
How would he support his family as it would likely he'd be fired if convicted.
How would he get another job.
Perhaps he thinks the chances of getting away with it are good? But if you know about his drinking problem, then others surely do - and they do because his management is already "aware".
You've had the 'courtesy' to speak to him directly, but the next one who notices might just ring the drink drive hotline.
Get him to call DrinkSense

[*not physically you understand]

And if that fails,
https://emaildvla.direct.gov.uk/emaildvla/cegemail/dvla/en/drivers_med_03.html
(can be filled in anonymously)

 

[TUCANO]

I would speak to him personally about HIS problem,
If he takes no heed you have tried your best,

I talked like this to a mate at work a couple of years ago, he still comes in 100% proof at times,
He has a problem, I don't.

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[sdc77]

 

[Minxy]

Your employer has a duty of care to the employee - they KNOW he's doing it and part of the cause appears to be the 'stress' they are placing on him ... regardless of whether he was just stressed, or drinking and stressed, they have to address it themselves - if not and something happens they could be held partly liable for not doing something to alleviate the issues they are causing him and he could sue their pants off. I know that's not the main concern here though, it will be difficult but I'd be tempted to take him out for lunch to a cafe somewhere that those from the firm don't frequent and have a chat with him ... no point in 'accusing' him of this and that as all it will do is get his back up ... instead try to imagine it is someone telling you that YOU have the problem and how you'd prefer to be told. If it doesn't help him then you've tried doing it 'unofficially' so I'd then make it formal by telling the police/DVLA, but I wouldn't leave it to go on any longer, one way or another.

 

[Badknee]

My first wife was killed by a young lad being a pillock, not drunk just a pillock. I would shop him in an instant to stop him causing the pain I felt to another family. How would you feel if through being over the limit he injured/killed any of your family?
Shop him.

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[DanielFord]

I think everyone, although well intentioned, is coming at this from the wrong angle. Hard hitting tactics are unlikely to have the desired effect, calling the police, will ultimately lead to his conviction for drink driving (and the resentment that would follow).
Perhaps a quiet word, and ironically, why not go out for a drink with him. Maybe he needs a shoulder to cry on? Sounds like there's a lot of weight on his shoulders?
Whatever works, you've got to stop him getting behind the wheel whilst under the influence.

 

[Tootles]

Nowt to do with you. You have no proof, only hearsay. You cant be the worlds conscience, you cant stop him drinking, and you cant stop him driving.........So you cant stop him killing someone, if fate decrees that's the way it will run.

 

[Bailey58]

Very difficult to know what to do next but whilst management may have told you they are aware of the problem that is all they told you and that's all they have to tell you. They may well be helping him but have a duty to keep that info private and when you say you see him maybe twice a month and he is under the weather maybe that is all he is and he is not over the limit. All ifs and buts and you are between the devil and the proverbial. Having reported your concerns to the management I don't think you have any obligation to do any more apart from having a quiet word with him if only for your own ease of mind.

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[Barclaybasher]

Nowt to do with you. You have no proof, only hearsay. You cant be the worlds conscience, you cant stop him drinking, and you cant stop him driving.........So you cant stop him killing someone, if fate decrees that's the way it will run.

Have to agree... it's his problem, not yours........ report him... do your duty... but he will still drive... seen too many like him... friends, colleagues... you just hope that they will not kill or maim..........

 

[Chris]

I think the man needs compassion , not punishment so I wouldn't shop him myself.

I would put your concerns in writing to your employer and put it back on them to do something. Perhaps if they were to introduce random breath testing with a warning that anyone over the limit faced dismissal, it might just bring the chap to his senses.

Good luck in what is a difficult predicament you find yourself in.

 

[big map]

Does he drive as part of his job role within the organisation?

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[tonyidle]

I don't think this is difficult at all. Any action you take that delays his removal from the road means he has the time to cause a serious accident. For your own peace of mind report him to the Police now. Once he's off the road then offer as much support as you are able to - but do not delay reporting him. You'll feel a lot worse if he causes an accident that you could perhaps have prevented.

 

[Zigisla]

You don't have to report him to the Police, but tell him your concerns and warn him that you will do it, not for his sake, but for that of his family and for the safety of others.

 

[scotjimland]

As a recovering alcoholic I can speak with personal experience .. there is absolutely nothing you can do.. The disease of active alcoholism isn’t rational. You can’t reason with it. You can’t change it.

The alcoholic doesn't drink to get drunk, it's an addiction, same as all other addictive drugs.. he drinks to stop the pain, without alcohol he can't function.. without alcohol he couldn't get through the day.. without alcohol he couldn't drive.. without alcohol he couldn't do his job.. but he can recover... I did.

I lost everything to alcohol, my first wife and my family of three boys, my job, my friends, my respect , my health and almost my life.. but it didn't stop me drinking. It is a downward spiral that many never find an escape from..
It took years and the love of my present wife to get me sober and to seek help from AA .. many 'friends' tried to help.. including my first wife.. I even went to AA and was sober for months at a time.. but I hadn't accepted I was an alcoholic.. the first step of the 12 step AA program.. which says..

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

Until your friend acknowledges this.. he can't get well.. and you can't help.

The doors of AA are revolving.. people come and go, many die without recovering.. it is estimated that only 10% who come to AA get well..

I am indeed lucky.. with many years of sobriety I still I count each sober day as a blessing.. I found a new partner, we built a family I got a better job, .. but it's still just one day at a time.. one drink, just one beer.. would see me back to square one.. just like quitting smoking.. you can't cut down.. and every day I have to remind myself of this.. talking to others and writing about it on this thread are part of my recovery..

The only person who can help your work mate is he himself.. or a recovering alcoholic.. preaching, threatening, reporting will only distance him.. be his friend.. be there if he asks for help...

If you want to understand, and be there for him, read up the topic, there is plenty of good advice on-line.. but be prepared for rejection.

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