some "Lexophiles" for the Weekend (1 Viewer)

bigfish

Free Member
May 20, 2009
348
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Eastleigh, Hants
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6,800
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8 years, but had caravans & Tents before that
FOR ALL YOU LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS)
What did you think it was :ROFLMAO:








1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.



2. A will is a dead giveaway.



3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.



4. A backward poet writes inverse.



5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.


6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.



7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.



8. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.



9. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.



10. A calendar's days are numbered.



11. A boiled egg is hard to beat.



12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.



13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: asmall medium atlarge.



14. Those who get too big for their britches will beexposed in the end.



15. When you've seen one shopping center you'veseen a mall.



16. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .



17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, shethought she'd dye.



18. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.



19. Acupuncture: a jab well done.



20. Marathon runners with bad shoes sufferthe agony of de feet.



21. The roundest knight at king Arthur's round tablewas Sir Cumference.He acquired his size from too much pi.



22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,but it turned out tobe an optical Aleutian .



23. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.



24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebraclass because it was aweapon of math disruption.



25. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'llstill be stationery.



26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and wascited for littering.



27. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.



28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. Thepolice are looking into it.



29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.



30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Thenit hit me.



31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:'Keep off the Grass.'



32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to ahospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how hewas, a nurse said 'No change yet.'



33. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.



34. Don't join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.

Have a nice weekend, We are of doing our 2 favorite things, away in van
and fly fishing, Loverly, only down the road at Wodington Fishery CL
But great plaice to be.:thumb:
 

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