Warning: a long and boring post.
No longer wanting, or needing, to keep the van permanently on hook-up when in indoor-storage since having lithium batteries fitted, I thought I’d buy a digital weekly timer. Then I could program said timer to come on one day a week, say Wednesday, for an hour and then switch off until the following Wednesday. As the only current drain when stored is the alarm and the tracker (possibly some other small currents from the ECU) this should suffice.
Timer arrived from Amazon the next day and the fun begins. The make is HBN supplied to Amazon by Ergo I&E Co Ltd. Of course, like almost anything we buy these days, it‘s made in China. And so are the instructions with only minor changes from Klingon to native Cantonese. Setting the time (the easy part
) only took the best part of an hour. The “manual” a 4”x4” piece of paper with instructions on both sides, is what you work from. There were references to a button or symbol thus “
” . But there is no such button or symbol. This symbol/button is important, we are told, because it permits the re-setting of an entry. So it not being there is a pain if, like me, you enter a time and wish to alter it, you have to delete everything and start again including setting the clock (the easy part, you’ll recall).
The instructions were so rudimentary and poorly translated into English/Klingon that it wasn’t possible for an idiot like me to set AND KEEP a time setting. So I looked up how to set up a digital timer on the internet in the forlorn hope of a clear generalised guide, written in normal English, that could be adapted to our particular digital nightmare. But no, it seems that Klingon/Cantonese is de rigeur for these devices. So, when my brain began to pulsate like a sponge and blood started trickling out of my ears, I gave up and had a lie-down and contemplated the best way of returning the HBN digital timer back to its atomic state. Remembering my basic chemistry that matter can neither be created nor destroyed, I found the compromise solution of taking a 7lb lump hammer to it really quite appealing.
SWMBO is made of sterner stuff so persuaded me to have a nap and look at it again later. (She didn’t volunteer to have a go herself, I noted). Anyway, post-nap, I had another go and think I’ve cracked it (unfortunate term in the context) and hopefully can bend it to my will.
But the proof of the pud will be in the eating. I’ll risk a trip out to the van tomorrow to connect up the timer to the van and hook-up. Dependent on the outcome, you’ll read my post, or alternatively never hear from me again as I sit well strapped into a straight-jacket, in a pool of my own urine, giggling Herbert Lom style in some secure institution for the Electronically Challenged.
If you‘ve bothered to get this far, all I can say is that you have too much time on your hands!
No longer wanting, or needing, to keep the van permanently on hook-up when in indoor-storage since having lithium batteries fitted, I thought I’d buy a digital weekly timer. Then I could program said timer to come on one day a week, say Wednesday, for an hour and then switch off until the following Wednesday. As the only current drain when stored is the alarm and the tracker (possibly some other small currents from the ECU) this should suffice.
Timer arrived from Amazon the next day and the fun begins. The make is HBN supplied to Amazon by Ergo I&E Co Ltd. Of course, like almost anything we buy these days, it‘s made in China. And so are the instructions with only minor changes from Klingon to native Cantonese. Setting the time (the easy part
) only took the best part of an hour. The “manual” a 4”x4” piece of paper with instructions on both sides, is what you work from. There were references to a button or symbol thus “” . But there is no such button or symbol. This symbol/button is important, we are told, because it permits the re-setting of an entry. So it not being there is a pain if, like me, you enter a time and wish to alter it, you have to delete everything and start again including setting the clock (the easy part, you’ll recall).The instructions were so rudimentary and poorly translated into English/Klingon that it wasn’t possible for an idiot like me to set AND KEEP a time setting. So I looked up how to set up a digital timer on the internet in the forlorn hope of a clear generalised guide, written in normal English, that could be adapted to our particular digital nightmare. But no, it seems that Klingon/Cantonese is de rigeur for these devices. So, when my brain began to pulsate like a sponge and blood started trickling out of my ears, I gave up and had a lie-down and contemplated the best way of returning the HBN digital timer back to its atomic state. Remembering my basic chemistry that matter can neither be created nor destroyed, I found the compromise solution of taking a 7lb lump hammer to it really quite appealing.
SWMBO is made of sterner stuff so persuaded me to have a nap and look at it again later. (She didn’t volunteer to have a go herself, I noted). Anyway, post-nap, I had another go and think I’ve cracked it (unfortunate term in the context) and hopefully can bend it to my will.
But the proof of the pud will be in the eating. I’ll risk a trip out to the van tomorrow to connect up the timer to the van and hook-up. Dependent on the outcome, you’ll read my post, or alternatively never hear from me again as I sit well strapped into a straight-jacket, in a pool of my own urine, giggling Herbert Lom style in some secure institution for the Electronically Challenged.
If you‘ve bothered to get this far, all I can say is that you have too much time on your hands!
