On the subject of cassette toilets and the gentleman's vegetables. (1 Viewer)

[Janine]

I wonder whether this thread will make Jim's newsletter next week - and what the description will be

 

[icantremember]

I have solved this lavatorial problem by turbo-charging my SOG ....

......this now sucks said waste material directly from any bodily orifices and through the cassette flap without touching the sides so leaving no skid marks.

For this to work at it's best it is necessary to ensure an air tight seal between bum and seat which is achieved using a copious quantity of sikaflex around the seat rim prior to taking your position.

An added benefit of the turbo is that the cassette no longer has to be emptied as the produce is reduced to a micro fine mist which is ejected to open air outside the m/h.

 

[bernardfeay]

I have had 3 beers tonight and my glass is now empty. My comments on this topic could loosen up if I drink any more. I might have another couple but I will make no further comment. But...!!!

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[TheBig1]

I have solved this lavatorial problem by turbo-charging my SOG ....

......this now sucks said waste material directly from any bodily orifices and through the cassette flap without touching the sides so leaving no skid marks.

For this to work at it's best it is necessary to ensure an air tight seal between bum and seat which is achieved using a copious quantity of sikaflex around the seat rim prior to taking your position.

An added benefit of the turbo is that the cassette no longer has to be emptied as the produce is reduced to a micro fine mist which is ejected to open air outside the m/h.

saves shaving the hair off your balls too

back to the subject of precision bombing. issues with mega turds can be avoided by judicious use of your sphincter to crimp off manageable lengths. a bit like chewing but in reverse

 

[Larby]

Never mind what go in the top, the problem is trying to convince one of her ladyship's torpedoes to enter the discharge tube.
Like a breeches birth.

 

[TheBig1]

really needed this thread tonight after the last 24hours with son in law in hospital. laughter is a wonderful medicine

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[makems]

We always pull the flush lever slightly to fill the bowl to around a 3rd before getting started giving them something to bob about in same as a domestic loo then flush the lot, no marks, don't know if this would use too much of a euro vans cassette allocation but with 50 gallon capacity we only have to drop the kids off at the big pool once a week

I don't know what your diet consists of that they "bob about a bit"
Mine head straight for the depths like Titanic.
slightly smaller thankfully

 

[funflair]

Too much information guys, can we start picking on cyclists or 4x4's again.

Just for the record flap open, bombs away, flush, quick check and tidy up as required. Job done no cameras required or small animals hurt.

 

[Tootles]

Too much information guys, can we start picking on cyclists or 4x4's again.

Just for the record flap open, bombs away, flush, quick check and tidy up as required. Job done no cameras required or small animals hurt.

You mean like: 'No Animals or Pregnant Women Were Hurt During the Filling of This LOO'

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[funflair]

Well we might as well learn something usefull while we are on this subject.

http://www.healthline.com/symptom/floating-stools

 

[pappajohn]

Should the afore mentioned deposit be extra large and doesnt quite slide into the cassette, leaving the upper part supported on the bowl side like a large wooden totem pole, what would you do ?

Poke it down with a spoon, fork, stick etc or simply chop it into more usable lengths with the toilet blade ???

 

[johnp10]

saves shaving the hair off your balls too

back to the subject of precision bombing. issues with mega turds can be avoided by judicious use of your sphincter to crimp off manageable lengths. a bit like chewing but in reverse

Copious amounts of Guiness prevents Mega formation in the first place.
No need for a macerator either.

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[Debs]

I don't know what your diet consists of that they "bob about a bit"
Mine head straight for the depths like Titanic.
slightly smaller thankfully

I don't know for sure but I think they are supposed to bob about a bit, it's a healthy sign

 

[Debs]

Yep here we go here
Knew I'd learn something useful from Only Connect one day

 

[pappajohn]

Yep here we go here
Knew I'd learn something useful from Only Connect one day

Why did i read that as Bristol Stool CAKE.

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[pappajohn]

What skid marks ?????

 

[Debs]

Why did i read that as Bristol Stool CAKE.

Eww

 

[makems]

Yep here we go here
Knew I'd learn something useful from Only Connect one day

Lots of detail about stool types but doesn't say anything about bobbing
According to Healthline
Common Causes of Floating Stools
The two most common causes of floating stools are excess gas and malabsorption (poor absorption) of nutrients.

Certain foods can cause gas in your stools. Foods that commonly cause gas include those that contain large amounts of sugars, lactose, starch, or fiber, such as beans, milk, cabbage, apples, soft drinks, and sugar-free candies.

Very enlightening !

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[Tootles]

Lots of detail about stool types but doesn't say anything about bobbing
According to Healthline
Common Causes of Floating Stools
The two most common causes of floating stools are excess gas and malabsorption (poor absorption) of nutrients.

Certain foods can cause gas in your stools. Foods that commonly cause gas include those that contain large amounts of sugars, lactose, starch, or fiber, such as beans, milk, cabbage, apples, soft drinks, and sugar-free candies.

Very enlightening !

And here's one I did earlier....................

 

[DBK]

Need a wide bore cassette for something that big...

 

[Debs]

Lots of detail about stool types but doesn't say anything about bobbing
According to Healthline
Common Causes of Floating Stools
The two most common causes of floating stools are excess gas and malabsorption (poor absorption) of nutrients.

Certain foods can cause gas in your stools. Foods that commonly cause gas include those that contain large amounts of sugars, lactose, starch, or fiber, such as beans, milk, cabbage, apples, soft drinks, and sugar-free candies.

Very enlightening !

I stand corrected, I thought fibre was good

Makes it sound like bobbing for apples

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[Tootles]

Copious amounts of Guiness prevents Mega formation in the first place.

However, it is advisable to lower this before commencing docking operations........

 

[MichelleRyall]

I am an ex nurse and I am here in bed laughing out loud. My husband thinks I am bonkers but I really enjoy some good old lavatorial humour. Tears rolling down my cheeks......face that is

 

[Bertie Bassett]

And after the curry takeaway the pebble dash at 0230? Deal with that with your camera on a stick Simon, deal with that!

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[Bertie Bassett]

I'm of the opinion that the discussion of bodily functions, although taboo for a great many people, is often very necessary when motorhoming as not everything is obvious.
Now, I agree with the "flap open, paper over the hole to prevent skids" approach as a substantial expulsion with the flap closed doesn't bear thinking about - talk about coming back to bite you.
Along these lines, I have discovered that although I am not a 'normous person I'm not entirely convinced that there is room for... everything... in the Thetford bowl, and I can't persuade myself that bombs dropped would be on target, so to speak; rather that they might fall somewhat short of the intended orifice, itself not massive, and lay there sneering at me as I try to flush it/them away with the pathetic flush, or worse: back up and eventually resist expulsion altogether.
The only solution I could see to this predicament, and this has been attempted, was to shuffle forward (try not to imagine this too graphically; it will scar you) and flop the aforementioned vegetables on the outside of the bowl, positioning the bomb bay at what I considered to be dead centre over the target (difficult to ascertain without a camera on a bendy stick). This was remarkably uncomfortable and the experiment had to be abandoned (I trudged through the rain to the site's big-boy toilets).
Is this a common worry? Am I concerning myself unduly? Should I buy a camera on a stick?

Cracking thread!

 

[Tootles]

I am an ex nurse

What a coincidence!! I once knew a de-frocked nurse!.

 

[DavidG58]

What a coincidence!! I once knew a de-frocked nurse!.

Oh oh, get ready

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[DavidG58]

What a coincidence!! I once knew a de-frocked nurse!.

I looked in google for a photo to post in line with your comment, found a few, bit too risque to post though, don't want a ban

 

[DBK]

Never marry a nurse. I did. They have no sympathy for whatever is wrong with you. "seen worse than that" is the usual response when I am lying on my death bed with a torn nail.

 

[GJH]

a helpful spoon from the kitchen knife drawer

Who is going to trust advice from somebody who keeps spoons in the knife drawer? Flatware is a serious subject

An added benefit of the turbo is that the cassette no longer has to be emptied as the produce is reduced to a micro fine mist which is ejected to open air outside the m/h.

Which explains the interesting finish pattern to be seen on the neighbouring van at rallies.

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