Tincataylor
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- Jul 9, 2012
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- Never leave a campsite with your clothes line tied to a lamp post.
It never ceases to amaze me how much variety there is between camp sites as we travel around and it is little wonder that what suits one person is the very opposite to another’s requirements . Flat, terraced, neat, scruffy, shaded, sunny the list goes on and on and therefore there are endless permutations. However I would humbly suggest that the greatest variation is in the shower block design which can vary from better than we’ve got at home to the most likely source of the next outbreak of Ebola virus.
So, as a guide to the less experienced camper here are a few tongue-in-cheek tips to ensure you get clean and fluffy with the minimum of trauma.
1. Make sure there is actually some hot water available before choosing a shower cubicle. It’s too late when you are buck naked under a freezing cold spray shrivelling the very bits you wish to get clean.
2. Make sure it has hooks to hang your wash bag. It makes no difference if the cubicle has a separate “dry area” for dressing as it will all get sopping by the time you are finished.
3. Do not hang your towel over the door - it’s just too tempting for practical jokers.
4. Examine the shower head closely. Do not be fooled by the circular arrangement of holes into thinking this is where the water will come out, it’s just as likely to emerge at right angles from the screw thread thus turning the promised “dry area” above into the aforementioned sopping wet area.
5. If it is the push button type make sure it allows at least 15 seconds of flow before having to be pushed again. Some site owners have now reduced the time to 3.7 nano seconds in the interests of saving the planet.
6. It is better to use shower gel rather than soap. I used to use soap until one evening while showering I dropped the soap that skittered under the door and came to rest in the public area between the cubicles. As the shower block was empty I took the risk of retrieving it and all was going well until a camper from the Netherlands entered just as I was bent over the offending bar of soap. It’s at times like these that one wishes one could say “Do not be alarmed, I am not a homosexual” in fluent Dutch.
7. Wear plastic shoes at all times unless you want a dose of trench foot.
8. Wear shorts to the shower. At some time during the post shower dressing operation you will be required to hop all over the place while trying to get one of your legs into the correct hole. This is relatively easy in shorts but in chino’s it involves dragging the empty leg through the afore mentioned sopping wet “dry area”.
The Tincas
So, as a guide to the less experienced camper here are a few tongue-in-cheek tips to ensure you get clean and fluffy with the minimum of trauma.
1. Make sure there is actually some hot water available before choosing a shower cubicle. It’s too late when you are buck naked under a freezing cold spray shrivelling the very bits you wish to get clean.
2. Make sure it has hooks to hang your wash bag. It makes no difference if the cubicle has a separate “dry area” for dressing as it will all get sopping by the time you are finished.
3. Do not hang your towel over the door - it’s just too tempting for practical jokers.
4. Examine the shower head closely. Do not be fooled by the circular arrangement of holes into thinking this is where the water will come out, it’s just as likely to emerge at right angles from the screw thread thus turning the promised “dry area” above into the aforementioned sopping wet area.
5. If it is the push button type make sure it allows at least 15 seconds of flow before having to be pushed again. Some site owners have now reduced the time to 3.7 nano seconds in the interests of saving the planet.
6. It is better to use shower gel rather than soap. I used to use soap until one evening while showering I dropped the soap that skittered under the door and came to rest in the public area between the cubicles. As the shower block was empty I took the risk of retrieving it and all was going well until a camper from the Netherlands entered just as I was bent over the offending bar of soap. It’s at times like these that one wishes one could say “Do not be alarmed, I am not a homosexual” in fluent Dutch.
7. Wear plastic shoes at all times unless you want a dose of trench foot.
8. Wear shorts to the shower. At some time during the post shower dressing operation you will be required to hop all over the place while trying to get one of your legs into the correct hole. This is relatively easy in shorts but in chino’s it involves dragging the empty leg through the afore mentioned sopping wet “dry area”.
The Tincas