Is gassing fact or myth? (1 Viewer)

[pappajohn]

That is easy Pappajohn, take your mind back to your school science lessons. You do it inside a vacuum vessel...

Nearest thing we had to a vacuum vessel in our school science lab was a thermos.
I think that was to keep the teachers G&T cold.

 

[DanielFord]

And that is just what they do. One of litter picker grips, cloth soaked in aether, you window open a fraction, in with the cloth and Goodnight Vienna.

I liked this purely based on the very correct spelling, if you send me some beer, I'll even tell you how to do the æ properly

 

[Chas17]

I'd just like to say how pleased I am that we got to mid July before gassing reared its head - or the other end, and also that my Labrador when full of inappropriate foodstuffs will give any gas canister a run for its money.

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[Gizmouk]

I'd just like to say how pleased I am that we got to mid July before gassing reared its head - or the other end, and also that my Labrador when full of inappropriate foodstuffs will give any gas canister a run for its money.

Plenty of time yet me laddo.
With the upcoming school holidays - Johnny Halfwit and his wobblebox of brats will be hitting the roads starting this weekend. That's bound to lead to a gassing story or two in the Daily Fail, complete with a photo of the "fat family" from some third world city scumhole who've just lost £2K and a Rolex.
Just sayin'

 

[DuxDeluxe]

Just having a read through this thread. I thinks it has proved once and for all that Gassing is undoubtedly not a myth. Lets be careful out there.......

.......and in there as well. Watch out for the wardrobe monsters and slithery critters under your bed as night....... sleep with the light on, or they'll get you.

 

[DuxDeluxe]

I was going to start an A Frame thread, but decided not to out of respect to Eddie @Judge Mental who would have contributed enthusiastically. It is just too soon. R.I.P. Eddie. Safe travels up there; we miss you

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[Don Quixote]

I think we need a "gassing story competition" - perhaps along the lines of 50 words minimum on how you were gassed in your MH. Could make interesting read on the toilet.

 

[Don Quixote]

The miracle of Gas

This story goes back to the time when gas appliances in England were being converted from methane to natural gas. A friend of mine called Barney had a good job as a fitter of these replacement gas appliances. It was a lovely job because they were paid on piece rate. The more houses they could convert, the more they earned.

Barney got faster and faster at his job. He was expert at unscrewing the old oven and boiler parts, then whipping in the new fittings. He was so good that he could even convert the appliances without turning off the gas at the mains. Now to pull off this trick Barney trained his breathing along the lines of those boys who dive for oysters. He would take a huge lungful of air, take off with the old fitting - O.K. so gas escapes, but he soon whacked in the new shiny new joint, and then gasped another breath from an open window. There was one other proviso for this risky shortcut, the owner had to be out.

One day he knocked on the door, explained to the lady that he had come from the gas board about their north sea conversion. The owner was delighted that she was finally going to move from the smelly old gas to the new natural gas. She told Barney that she just had to pop to the shops and as her husband was working in the garden, Barney could go ahead with his fitting. Great thought Barney, this will be a quick job, no need to turn off the gas at the mains. The boiler was no trouble, but one of the jets in the oven was rusty and crusted. Even though the gas was escaping, Barney sprayed a can of WD-40 on the obstinate fitting and eventually it unscrewed and he whisked on the replacement part.

As Barney came up for air, to his horror, he spotted that the budgie in the kitchen was lying on its back at the bottom of his cage. It was not looking good, and to add to his trouble he could see the lady opening the gate at the bottom of the garden. What to do? Being resourceful, Barney cut a length of fuse wire and wrapped it around the dead budgie's legs and tethered him to his perch. As a nice touch he even set the perch rocking, and then turned and met the lady in the door way. 'All done,' Barney said as he sauntered down the path to the gate.

'Good grief, my budgie,' said the lady. Barney picked up the lady's bad vibes and his chances of legging it were not improved by the sudden appearance of the woman's husband blocking his exit. 'Come back here,' she said, and as his escape was cut off by the husband, he had no option but to turn and face the music.

'It's a miracle', the lady said, 'when I left this morning, my budgie was dead, now he's jumped up on his perch and is swinging away happy as you please'.

 

[Lenny HB]

I think we need a "gassing story competition" - perhaps along the lines of 50 words minimum on how you were gassed in your MH. Could make interesting read on the toilet.

Good job I have a SOG otherwise I would gas myself on the toilet.

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[Don Quixote]

.

 

[rangi]

.......and in there as well. Watch out for the wardrobe monsters and slithery critters under your bed as night....... sleep with the light on, or they'll get you.

 

[buttons]

Dont forget that these are the words of a duck.

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[Bart]

The only gassing going on in our MH will be me gassing the wife after a nice Curry

 

[DuxDeluxe]

Dont forget that these are the words of a duck.

..... not the one sleeping with wardrobe monsters in the closet.....

 

[Minxy]

.......and in there as well. Watch out for the wardrobe monsters and slithery critters under your bed as night....... sleep with the light on, or they'll get you.

Its not the ones outside the bed you need to worry about .. it's the snake that comes out from the pj trouser bottoms that bites!

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[Minxy]

I think we need a "gassing story competition" - perhaps along the lines of 50 words minimum on how you were gassed in your MH. Could make interesting read on the toilet.

Here you go then:

Out Tazzy dog is a wimp! One night she suddenly shot across the lounge, climbed on the sofa and tried to sit on my shoulder, quivering! I was absolutely killing myself with laughter!! Nothing had attacked her - all she’d done was fart and thought something was attacking her bum!
​

Well, it is about escaping gas!

 

[rangi]

The only gassing going on in our MH will be me gassing the wife after a nice Curry

Next stop, 2 litres of "Purple Death"?

 

[Tootles]

Its not the ones outside the bed you need to worry about .. it's the snake that comes out from the pj trouser bottoms that bites!

Well, you got it the false teeth.

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[tonyidle]

Thats because the fridges are hermetically sealed from the living space

I think "hermetically" is rather overstating the effect of a sheet of aluminium or aluminised cardboard loosely fitted somewhere in the general vicinity of the back of the fridge - which often stands clear of the floor .

 

[tonyidle]

I liked this purely based on the very correct spelling, if you send me some beer, I'll even tell you how to do the æ properly

You mean like this: Viennæ ?

 

[Viennese]

BRIAN!!! WHAT WE GONNA DO WITH YOU!!!

He's living in hope that someone will do something with him Joy...

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[pyro]

My other half said I had bad gas last night. Is there such a thing as good gas, I wonder

 

[Greytop]

Sorry people but I've got withdrawal symptoms - haven't seen a gassing thread for ages so I thought I'd just wake up some other gassing thread fans and sit back and enjoy

My opinion is that is a myth and always has been, it seems that the Royal College of Anaesthetists are of the same view.

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[GeriatricWanderer]

I think maybe this thread is coming to it's end so perhaps an in-depth discussion on the legality of A Frame use in Llivia might be worthwhile.

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[Chas17]

I think maybe this thread is coming to it's end so perhaps an in-depth discussion on the legality of A Frame use in Llivia might be worthwhile.

Presumably the A-Frame could be used to transport the vast quantities of gas required for any of the above nefarious purposes.

 

[Doctor Dave]

My other half said I had bad gas last night. Is there such a thing as good gas, I wonder

The "Good Gas" is what my wife uses in the cooker to cook my tea!

Dave

 

[KeithChesterfield]

'Allo, it is I, René Francois Artois!

And I would like to make a full Gassing confession.
You may recall the 'Derby Six' who reported being 'gassed' in August a couple of years ago in their large Motorhome, we in France call them Camping Cars, and many of the publishers of your soon-to-be Chip wrappers spread the news on their front pagers.

It was I, my family and colleagues who were the perpetrators of this heinous crime and I would like to explain the circumstances.

After the War I moved from my Café in the little village of Nouvion in Northern France to Bourges where I opened a new Café at a Motorway Service Station

My lovely wife Edith, Yvette and Mimi came with me to help and I was lucky to also have Lieutenant Gruber who cooks in the kitchen and goes to the Cash and Carry in his little tank.

The incident happened when a family from Derby stopped at my little café in August and parked their Camping Car in the nearby Service Station car park.
They brought their own food with them into the Café and irritated me by not buying any of dear Gubers delightfully cooked produce.

They asked for my finest Red wine, I wasn't going to waste any of that on the tight fisted group, and they were given a few bottles of the worst vintage I could muster.
During their long drinking session one of the members of the Resistance heard something that they had mentioned, and she told me only once, the words 'Madonna' and 'big boobs'.

This of course brought back memories of the picture of 'The Fallen Madonna and the Big Boobies' by Van Klomp and its whereabouts because it hasn't been seen in decades and must now be worth a fortune.
Apparently they had a suitcase in the Camping Car with the possibility that the long lost painting was inside the case.

After they left my little Café in an alcohol induced state after drinking the rough, but expensively priced, wine I had so generously served we formed a plan to steal the suitcase and relieve them of the picture of the Madonna and the Big Boobies.

When everyone inside the vehicle, suffering from the after effects of my 'finest' wine, finally succumbed to sleep Gruber parked his ageing smoky exhaust emitting little tank next to the Camping Car.
He climbed on top of his little tank and lowered a hook on a rope through the open sky light of the Camping Car and, bless him, lifted the suitcase out without disturbing the slumbering occupants.

We hurried back to the Café and eagerly opened the case.
To our bitter disappointment the suitcase only contained a couple of Madonna DVDs, some sweaty shirts and a couple of bras that would have fitted Mama Cass - and not the picture we so dearly craved.

When the family came back to my café the next morning complaining about bad headaches and a stolen suitcase I immediately referred them to Officer Crabtree.
His grasp of French and English completely bemused them, their own Derbyshire accent nullifying Crabtrees attempt at sorting out the English version of the problem, and he directed them to our local Hospital for some headache relieving tablets.

Yvette and Mimi's daughters work as Nurses at the Hospital, and with my guidance and advice, both girls intimated that it was obviously Carbon Monoxide poisoning that had effected the six English and not the worst tasting and smelling wine that anyone could possibly consume and get away without severe repercussions.

To my horror, and my horror has often been tested, the Derby family claimed around 2,000 of your English pounds for replacing the contents of the stolen suitcase.

I, Edith, and the two English airmen, who still haven't gone home despite frequent efforts to get rid of them, have trawled the Internet to find the real value of the contents and I'm afraid the optimistic estimate to be round €40 (£32) as most the items we saw were either possibly pirate versions of the delightful Madonna's DVDs or poor quality shirts and bras bought from Derby market.

I admit my involvement in the crime that your Newspapers reported in chilling detail but feel I have truthfully put my side of the story and insist that normally we would only serve such appalling wine to those who are naïve, stupid or downright thick – and that can't be you, can it?

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[johnandi]

"Interesting" letter in the latest MMM on an alleged occurrence of gassing.

John

 

[magicsurfbus]

Can anyone else in here smell gas?

I'm sure I can smell ga

.

 

[kcy]

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