Help please - internal cleaning (1 Viewer)

[Cleve]

Recommendations please for cleaning inside. Many of you will know that Helen is a mature Hymer and before I commence our odyssey around France at the end of April I would really like to give her a real birthday scrub inside. I did a sort of wipe over last year but now I have the time I would like to do a proper job.

I did a quick scan of the thread titles on this forum and none seemed to answer my question. So help please, I need to clean the roof lining, which is a hard non cloth type, the walls - usual board with an irregular surface and the floor (I removed the vintage shag pile last year leaving the "lino" exposed). I gave the floor a wipe over with washing up liquid and rinsed which brought is up quite well.

So suggestions please, I do not mind spending the money and have a supply of elbow grease, simply want to get her well turned out.

Thanks for any suggestions (suggestions about scrubbers to be relevant please)!

Clive

 

[Janine]

I find that Magic Sponges work very well. Also Astonish paste for very stubborn marks

 

[jezport]

I find that Magic Sponges work very well. Also Astonish paste for very stubborn marks

But DO NOT USE ON HIGH GLOSS SURFACES as they remove the shine

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[The Wino]

I thought it was a colonic irrigation thread!!!

 

[Cleve]

Thank you both, being a simple male I have never heard of magic sponges. I need to go into Tescos or Sainsburys later to get some butter so will see if I can see them.
The surfaces are all matt finish but thank you for the heads up about gloss.

Well done on the colonic, I did not think the scrubbers reference would be a bar and I look forward to a few more sideways replies - they do make me smile and keep the topic light.

Thank you again Clive

 

[JJ]

I'm not sure I am able to give much advice on this matter...

JJ

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[scotzsue]

Don't use any cleaner containing alcohol on plastic surfaces, many 'wipes' contain alcohol. We had upholstery in old van steam cleaned when we had our suite done, didn't cost much extra and came up a treat.
This van has fabric on part of the ceiling, still trying to work out best way to clean that. Had thought of spray dry clean stuff but dont think my chest would cope with any fumes.

 

[movan]

• Get a woman.

 

[Reallyretired]

• Get a woman.

From a man that would be a sexist comment.

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[barsteward]

I'm not sure I am able to give much advice on this matter but if you want to grow lettuce on your dash, then I'm your man...

JJ

Sortid

 

[cornish boy]

But DO NOT USE ON HIGH GLOSS SURFACES as they remove the shine

I think it is the fact they don't look or feel abrasive that gives people a false sense of security but they can and do cause significant damage.

 

[movan]

Have a look at the thread on cleaning the bathroom sink before you do that. Save damaging it.

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[Cleve]

*********CAUTION - UNSTABLE CONTENT *************

Hi Movan,

I would love to get a woman but my experience to date has been a catalogue of disasters - you simply are not wired the same as us chaps. I don't know whether I am punched, bored or countersunk.

No means yes except when it means No.

An experience from a while ago. Had enjoyed a lovely day out, boat ride out to an island, lovely walk, sandy beaches, beach bar - coffee, walk, quayside bar - alcoholic beverage, boat ride back. Return to accommodation "she elects to prepare meal" idiot child (me - simple male yes = yes, no = no) "Is there anything you want me to do, do you need a hand?" She, "No, you go and sit down, thank you."
Idiot child (me) goes to lounge sits down and reflects on what had been a lovely day, fool, a happy memory is about to be turned in a miserable recollection of a day spoiled. Why you ask, sounds idyllic, well it was until looked up and saw Vesuvius at the kitchen door and heard the words "Well aren't you going to do anything to help?" I responded that help had been profered but declined. Instantly something so lovely had been totally destroyed. So unecessary and so avoidable.

I am thinking of writing a book about my life experiences but on the cover it will have in large text "Unsuitable for tree hugging, yoghurt knitting, sandal wearing, window licking .... contents not politically correct etc.

That said, can't live with them, can't live without them and I would love to find one who was straight forward like me. I would love to be able to share experiences etc but sadly and I dare not go there at my age ladies come with too much baggage (I can explain that - it is one of the topics for my book, but it will not do me any favours and I am beginning to think I should delete this speel now or put a warning at the top).

Now I realise I forgot to get the butter, look for miracle sponges or even a couple of scrubbers!



Clive

 

[Cat53]

Ah! Your mistake was to sit down and reflect on the day. You should have set the table, poured the wine and kept her company. As for cleaning. Cif is good. Astonish is brilliant. White vinegar is fantastic.

 

[pappajohn]

I'm not sure I am able to give much advice on this matter...

JJ

So I've heard....except when French royalty is due a state visit.

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[movan]

*********CAUTION - UNSTABLE CONTENT *************

Hi Movan,

I would love to get a woman but my experience to date has been a catalogue of disasters - you simply are not wired the same as us chaps. I don't know whether I am punched, bored or countersunk.

No means yes except when it means No.

An experience from a while ago. Had enjoyed a lovely day out, boat ride out to an island, lovely walk, sandy beaches, beach bar - coffee, walk, quayside bar - alcoholic beverage, boat ride back. Return to accommodation "she elects to prepare meal" idiot child (me - simple male yes = yes, no = no) "Is there anything you want me to do, do you need a hand?" She, "No, you go and sit down, thank you."
Idiot child (me) goes to lounge sits down and reflects on what had been a lovely day, fool, a happy memory is about to be turned in a miserable recollection of a day spoiled. Why you ask, sounds idyllic, well it was until looked up and saw Vesuvius at the kitchen door and heard the words "Well aren't you going to do anything to help?" I responded that help had been profered but declined. Instantly something so lovely had been totally destroyed. So unecessary and so avoidable.

I am thinking of writing a book about my life experiences but on the cover it will have in large text "Unsuitable for tree hugging, yoghurt knitting, sandal wearing, window licking .... contents not politically correct etc.

That said, can't live with them, can't live without them and I would love to find one who was straight forward like me. I would love to be able to share experiences etc but sadly and I dare not go there at my age ladies come with too much baggage (I can explain that - it is one of the topics for my book, but it will not do me any favours and I am beginning to think I should delete this speel now or put a warning at the top).

Now I realise I forgot to get the butter, look for miracle sponges or even a couple of scrubbers!



Clive

Words fail me ...what a terrible experience for any man ...

Now where on earth can you find someone as straightforward as you? Someone with no baggage? I am going out now sadly but will be back later with some ladies who will be more than willing to take you on ... see you later.

 

[Tootles]

I find that Magic Sponges work very well. Also Astonish paste for very stubborn marks

I use a 'Magic Wife'. Fantastic. However, I have yet to be astonished that nothing except a wire brush and Dettol will remove her very stubborn paste marks.

 

[Cleve]

Words fail me ...what a terrible experience for any man ...

Now where on earth can you find someone as straightforward as you? Someone with no baggage? I am going out now sadly but will be back later with some ladies who will be more than willing to take you on ... see you later.

Hi Movan

you should not tease an old man - the thought of the challenge is exciting on its own

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[Anthea M]

Sounds like 'Helen' is the lady for you , liquid diet ,handling with care but no back chat!!

 

[Cleve]

All this excitement I have just taken one of the drop down bed gas struts off to post to SGS to get a replacement pair. Mine are so old with no reference printed on them, a label on one indicating 1200N, I spoke to Rob who could not have been more helpful 3 times on the phone before I gave in and wrapped in bubble wrap.

Helen has her moments (in common with so much of my experiences) she does not object to me throwing cash at her, seems to respond to a gentle caressing touch on her vital parts, though I recall at Condom last summer having trouble with one of her nipples!

Any way, off to the post office and send my parcel tracked, bed was heavy when I had it off......

 

[peterc10]

Condom last summer having trouble with one of her nipples!

Your not supposed to put it on that part ...............

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[movan]

Hello Cleve ....... I have just been rounding up some of my lady friends .. they really are getting quite excited at the prospect of meeting you .. you poor unsuspecting innocent ... so badly treated before and in need of gentle, womanly understanding ... never before have we met a male so perfect in every respect, now just stay there my dear ... my friends are on their way....

 

[Muriel]

Hello Cleve ....... I have just been rounding up some of my lady friends .. they really are getting quite excited at the prospect of meeting you .. you poor unsuspecting innocent ... so badly treated before and in need of gentle, womanly understanding ... never before have we met a male so perfect in every respect, now just stay there my dear ... my friends are on their way....

I am one of the lady friends of Joy and having read through this thread I can offer you carbolic soap as I think it might do the trick. I'm straight talking.

 

[Cleve]

My personal hygiene is not a problem, I used to like Wright's Coal Tar Soap (a long time ago) but then went onto the shower gels.

Are you suggesting I need perhaps Lifebuoy?

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[Muriel]

Ha, ha, no definitely not a lifebuoy. I think maybe be some fairy! But to be honest, I haven't got a scooby do as to how to clean a mh. I've had mine 9 months and haven't cleaned it yet. I might have taken the fairy liquid to it before reading this thread!

So, once you've become an expert on cleaning, how about cleaning mine for me!

 

[movan]

@Cleve You will be pleased to know that my friends, photographed above, REALLY are looking after you sunshine.... We just caught these women trying to get into your van to you to sort things out .... but don't worry .... we chased them away and they won't be back... WE WON'T DESERT YOU... Trust us..

 

[Muriel]

No. They won't be back so you are safe.

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[movan]

No. They won't be back so you are safe.

Muriel, why does Cleve look disappointed?

 

[Cleve]

Bugger, just my luck!

 

[movan]

Muriel ... WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE WOMEN!!!!!!!!! @Cleve really does need our help ..... Look who I just found fighting to get to him with his evening meal.... Huh, good job I was there to protect him and send her packing..... Relax, Cleve, we will look after you.

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