Get off my land....! (1 Viewer)

[Wildbill]

I don't have problems like that we have a Lyn would you trespass on my pitch
This of you who have met her and know she is tamed aproch with caution
No stranger dare entire our pitch
Bill

 

[yodeli]

Oh, I’d like to keep them off but sharp keeps me on a tight lead......

I tend to be quite straight with this kind of people. Of course on an Aire I would have started Max... giving a few revs so that Max can fart all he needs to... proper grey/black smoke then would have moved with such a noise no one could possibly have ignored it, and with most displeasure on my face would have chosen another pitch. BUT you're not on an aire I understand so may be something funny, like 2 chairs out, one on each side of the van... Madam would have something feminine left on the back of the chair and a visible note clearly readable "I'm a cougar and get anyone being at reach" On Sir's chair something like "I'm the most dangerous pedophile , keep off my way" or something you find more suitable and less ... dangerous cougar and pedophile are the same words in French so ...

 

[Cheshirecat57]

I told the wife it was 1610 metres. She now thinks she is in the mile high club

Errr, the 1.62 km high club you mean

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[Yorick]

Errr, the 1.62 km high club you mean

1.60934. Ahem

 

[Yorick]

"I'm a cougar and get anyone being at reach

That's got me all excited

 

[Cheshirecat57]

@Yorick, whats the odd 60 or 70 yards in a kilometre?

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[Yorick]

@Yorick, whats the odd 60 or 70 yards in a kilometre?

17 shovels

 

[suavecarve]

1.60934. Ahem

We have a fixed bed above the garage so it looks like we get a sticker for the van

 

[sallylillian]

In Croatia too and I have found a similar experience, at the last site Padova 3 on Rab, people just short cut through everyone's pitch, ours was near the site supermarket and as its a German holiday we had the whole of Berlin traipsing past our windows, so I walked through theirs to the beach path!

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[Tony50]

It happens in the UK at Peterborough Show on C&C Club area other campers were walking all over/close to our vehicle same thing happens on marked pitches on both Clubs Sites I thought it was Etiquette not to walk on others pitches .
Apart from this I don't usually wind people up !! but, once in Germany camped on a near empty site I was approached by a Young German man (about 25 to 30 years old ) he got onto talking in perfect English about the EU ( I try a little not talk about Politics abroad ) He said " You English always want something different from the rest of us in the EU " I said " Have you ever considered the rest of you are wrong ? " I did not understand his reply in German ,but got the gist !!
ps. sorry from deviating from original Post.
Tony A.

 

[MyrtleGuru]

sorry from deviating from original Post.

Well I for one like a bit of deviation.

This one is mainly for @yodeli who may already be familiar with the phrase 'a little knowledge is a dangerous thing'.

I was at a party in France where there were quite a lot of people smoking. Whenever someone took out a cigarette, this young French woman would take out her lighter and light the person's cigarette.

My little knowledge of French told me that the French verb for 'to light' is 'allumer'; it also told me that you add -eur to the verb for a male person who does that thing and -euse for a female person who does that thing. So, having quickly processed my little knowledge of French grammar, I attempted to make polite conversation and said to the woman in French that I thought she was a very good 'allumeuse'. My comment did not go down well at all, as apparently that word means something entirely different from my intention.

On the other hand, the French woman who had taken me to the party thought it was hilarious -- another classic moment courtesy of the funny Englishman.

 

[mike mcglynn]

I was on a cmc site in Yorkshire a few years back and there was a horde of unruly kids on bikes who took great delight in riding over our pitch and underneath our wind out awning so I put our windbreak out and found that the kids just crashed into it and rode over it I complained to the site warden and was told that there was very little he could do I had a solution but my wife sad no .So I complained to the CMC club and they were sympathetic and said planting and landscaping will solve the problem .The problem was the parents who were all pissed and didn't give a toss

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[Northernraider]

I had a French man stare at my 6 days worth of jobby today.


Very strange man

 

[yodeli]

Well I for one like a bit of deviation.

This one is mainly for @yodeli who may already be familiar with the phrase 'a little knowledge is a dangerous thing'.

I was at a party in France where there were quite a lot of people smoking. Whenever someone took out a cigarette, this young French woman would take out her lighter and light the person's cigarette.

My little knowledge of French told me that the French verb for 'to light' is 'allumer'; it also told me that you add -eur to the verb for a male person who does that thing and -euse for a female person who does that thing. So, having quickly processed my little knowledge of French grammar, I attempted to make polite conversation and said to the woman in French that I thought she was a very good 'allumeuse'. My comment did not go down well at all, as apparently that word means something entirely different from my intention.

On the other hand, the French woman who had taken me to the party thought it was hilarious -- another classic moment courtesy of the funny Englishman.

MMMmm! Yes you only told her she was very good at "putting men on fire" = get them sexually hot! Not to worry I said to my class of teenagers when teaching French (Middlesbrough).... "I"m coming" ...which of course at the age of 16yold sounds very funny!!!!

 

[skylinersi]

People will go where they want and not have a single thought about what they are doing. Many years ago I took our monster fork truck out on a railway bridge to stop a lorry and trailer falling over on its side when a load of heavy pallets had slid. The offside wheels were 18" off the ground and on the load resting only on a fence to stopped it going over. Traffic police were there and coned off the pavement under the lorry and I was lifting the load from the wrong side to get the weight back on the wheels. A young MUM and her baby in a pram and toddler moved the cones and promptly walked under the overhanging load along the pavement and the cop was told it was DANGEROUS to walk in the road ?????????????? WTF was she not thinking. twenty ton of palleted goods would had destroyed the fence and her under it any second.

Think ..terrible accident.. .gene pool.....favour .....

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[skylinersi]

Can't you just apply the force field?

Waddya mean you ain't got a force field. ? I thought we all had one. Sorry

Where is the button for arming this force field of which you speak ?? Is it available on UK and German made vans????

 

[skylinersi]

I was on a cmc site in Yorkshire a few years back and there was a horde of unruly kids on bikes who took great delight in riding over our pitch and underneath our wind out awning so I put our windbreak out and found that the kids just crashed into it and rode over it I complained to the site warden and was told that there was very little he could do I had a solution but my wife sad no .So I complained to the CMC club and they were sympathetic and said planting and landscaping will solve the problem .The problem was the parents who were all pissed and didn't give a toss

Neck height length of piano wire ....

 

[mike mcglynn]

Close but no cigar .

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[pappajohn]

This just reminded me of an incident a couple of years ago at a local weekend music festival.
RV pitched, awning and awning mat laid out plus windblockers fixed.

Came back to the RV around 1am to find a tent camper had squeezed in a tiny space right next to the awning...... And put their tent pegs under the windblocker and through our woven Reed awning mat.

Couldn't be arsed to say anything and they did apologise next day.

 

[maz]

Somewhat off topic, but as an ex-fulltimer now living on a sea-going boat I am finding the lack of private space in marinas a bit of an eye-opener!

Currently we are in the Channel Islands. Ok, so most of the time we are at anchor in some small bay or the other, and frequently the only boat there - lovely. But on the odd occasion when we have had to go into a marina, the boats are so close that you can pass a cup of coffee to your neighbour. Then there’s the dreadful practice of ‘rafting’, when two (or more) boats are lashed together and the people on the outer boat have to walk across the inner boat to get ashore! And what about the ‘6 metre rule’ for gas safety? That doesn’t seem to apply with boats.

 

[The Wino]

Somewhat off topic, but as an ex-fulltimer now living on a sea-going boat I am finding the lack of private space in marinas a bit of an eye-opener!

Currently we are in the Channel Islands. Ok, so most of the time we are at anchor in some small bay or the other, and frequently the only boat there - lovely. But on the odd occasion when we have had to go into a marina, the boats are so close that you can pass a cup of coffee to your neighbour. Then there’s the dreadful practice of ‘rafting’, when two (or more) boats are lashed together and the people on the outer boat have to walk across the inner boat to get ashore! And what about the ‘6 metre rule’ for gas safety? That doesn’t seem to apply with boats.

Plenty of water to put the fire out though!!

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[nicholsong]

Somewhat off topic, but as an ex-fulltimer now living on a sea-going boat I am finding the lack of private space in marinas a bit of an eye-opener!

Currently we are in the Channel Islands. Ok, so most of the time we are at anchor in some small bay or the other, and frequently the only boat there - lovely. But on the odd occasion when we have had to go into a marina, the boats are so close that you can pass a cup of coffee to your neighbour. Then there’s the dreadful practice of ‘rafting’, when two (or more) boats are lashed together and the people on the outer boat have to walk across the inner boat to get ashore! And what about the ‘6 metre rule’ for gas safety? That doesn’t seem to apply with boats.

You might enjoy this one re boats.

I had my boat alongside the quay in Poros Greece for the winter with Roger another Brit moored outside me. We were preparing to start cruising for the summer. A racing flotilla arrived from Athens and 13 boats rafted up outside us, none with shore lines, but it was a calm night.

The clump clump of crews crossing was disturbing, but annoyed Roger intensly. In the morning at 0830 he told the first of the raft that he was leaving. That skipper, bleary-eyed, responded 'Please release my lines' - I think he meant 'when I am ready', but Roger took immediate action and a raft of 13 boats floated out into the channel, followed by lots of banging on hatches and shouting and chaos. Roger shot out of the gap and I decided it was time we cast-off too and swiftly followed him out, with only a surrupticious backward glance.

Some boat 'parking' makes MHoming seem easy. There are no anchors to cross etc.

Geoff

 

[Northernraider]

Somewhat off topic, but as an ex-fulltimer now living on a sea-going boat I am finding the lack of private space in marinas a bit of an eye-opener!

Currently we are in the Channel Islands. Ok, so most of the time we are at anchor in some small bay or the other, and frequently the only boat there - lovely. But on the odd occasion when we have had to go into a marina, the boats are so close that you can pass a cup of coffee to your neighbour. Then there’s the dreadful practice of ‘rafting’, when two (or more) boats are lashed together and the people on the outer boat have to walk across the inner boat to get ashore! And what about the ‘6 metre rule’ for gas safety? That doesn’t seem to apply with boats.

Well there's usually plenty of water to extinguish the fire

 

[DL42846]

I must be getting soft in my old age. It doesn't really bother me if people walk across my pitch. Usually a good occasions to start up a conversation. The only time I was surprised was when a Asian family spread there picnic blanket right across the exit door of our habitation door. I kid you not when I say I had to walk on there blanket to get in and out of our Motor Home. Then they lit a BBQ which all the smoke was being blown into our MH. I started coughing and spluttering so they would get the message. But after a few Polite words in a nice manner they actually starting offering us food from there BBQ and we struck up a conversation with them and had a nice afternoon.

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[Northernraider]

I must be getting soft in my old age. It doesn't really bother me if people walk across my pitch. Usually a good occasions to start up a conversation. The only time I was surprised was when a Asian family spread there picnic blanket right across the exit door of our habitation door. I kid you not when I say I had to walk on there blanket to get in and out of our Motor Home. Then they lit a BBQ which all the smoke was being blown into our MH. I started coughing and spluttering so they would get the message. But after a few Polite words in a nice manner they actually starting offering us food from there BBQ and we struck up a conversation with them and had a nice afternoon.

Id have thrown a bucket of water over them




And that's before they lit the bbq