Embarrassing cock ups you've made

seakay22

seakay22

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I have just been chatting to a couple at the campsite bar and due to the extreme temperature here the woman said she was looking forward to a cold shower.

Anyway, I left them and an hour later she's just walked by the van so I said 'You had a shower.. how was it?' - she completely ignored me..... was completely the wrong person - what a tosser!
 
My mother rip once asked the young lad in the sweet shop if he had a whoppa - :rolleyes: much guffawing all round, and a very red face on the young lad.
 
Back when my sister and I were teenagers my Dad was driving the car with my Mum as passenger, he saw a girl with dark hair wearing a red jacket walking along the pavement, pulled up alongside her and said "do you want a ride?". My Mum was horrified, and so was he when he realised that it wasn't my sister but some other girl entirely!

My cock up was when I used to work in London, I had to use the underground and was always in a hurry. As I came onto the underground platform the train was just about ready to go, I took a flying jump as the doors were closing, caught my foot and slid on my knees across the floor. Total agony but didn't want to look like an idiot, so got to my feet and "casually" leant against the glass divider by the door. A couple of people asked if I was ok, and I said "it's fine, just a little bump". Got off at the next platform, tried to walk normally and when round the corner hobbled to the ladies loos. When I finally got to look to see the damage, I'd ripped my trousers, taken the skin off my knees and my legs from the knee down were covered in blood!!

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Embarrassing? I'll never forget that science class when I shouted out "Vagina" as the answer to 'What's the female reproductive organ called?'

Thought I'd be cool and say the answer everyone else was too shy to say :X3:

Turns out the answer was ovaries.

From my even younger days I remember my dad telling a group of Asian campers next to us that we didn't have 'A tenner' sorry. Turns out they were after a tin opener.

Finally one time we had drove down to meet relatives and my dad said 'Look Kristine (my mum) there they are, there's Uncle Billy' before pulling up to some randoms at the side of the road and of course my mum, in a panic, wound down her window shouting 'Billy, Billy, coooooie Billy'

She hasn't yet lived that one down.
 
Mark and Mindy said:
Back when my sister and I were teenagers my Dad was driving the car with my Mum as passenger, he saw a girl with dark hair wearing a red jacket walking along the pavement, pulled up alongside her and said "do you want a ride?". My Mum was horrified, and so was he when he realised that it wasn't my sister but some other girl entirely!

My cock up was when I used to work in London, I had to use the underground and was always in a hurry. As I came onto the underground platform the train was just about ready to go, I took a flying jump as the doors were closing, caught my foot and slid on my knees across the floor. Total agony but didn't want to look like an idiot, so got to my feet and "casually" leant against the glass divider by the door. A couple of people asked if I was ok, and I said "it's fine, just a little bump". Got off at the next platform, tried to walk normally and when round the corner hobbled to the ladies loos. When I finally got to look to see the damage, I'd ripped my trousers, taken the skin off my knees and my legs from the knee down were covered in blood!!
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Blood hilaroius ??
 
My mum years ago when we 3 sons were small used to holiday in Dorset.
In a sweet shop my mother was buying some treats for them once we were put to bed
Standing at the counter us behind her she saw a small hand grabbing a chocolate bar, she removed it and put it back.
The hand came back and grabbed the bar again, this time she took it off and gave a little slap.
Again the hand came back she turned to tell us off only to be confronted with a young lady wanting to buy a chocolate bar.

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Years ago woke up in the caravan with a sore throat & pounding head , never thought to much about it , later that day the girl friend says that’s that gas ring not switching off again ! , I said how did you get it off last time , she replies I blew it out , WELL that explains the headache & sore throat , she nearly killed me , thank god I didn’t smoke or want boiled egg for breakfast, would have blown us up lol
 
Techno said:
On more than one occasion I've removed a sink trap and reached up and over to pour the contents into the sink and guess who's under the sink with the trap off :LOL: I know plumbers who admit they've got the T shirt
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Yeh , that’ll be me
 
When I was younger I was working away renovating a house and we were all sleeping in the house with no bathroom just a toilet so after knocking walls down all day I needed a shower so I paid to go swimming at the council baths I never bothered with the swimming just stripped off down to my birthday suit in the showers and proceeded to have a good wash
I was tapped on the shoulder by a lady explaining to me that the changing rooms were unisex I quickly got my stuff and left
 
My best one was 30odd years ago. I was getting a few things at the supermarket and had one of my sons withh me, a toddler. He kept wandering off and I was trying to hold his hand while paying. Anyway got my stuff, reached out for his hand and left. Outside I discovered I had the wrong child, mine was still at the checkout. Fortunately in those days people were less paranoid and the mother of the little girl I had accidentally abducted was understanding.

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On a campsite in Spain, a couple I know had brought their blue Peugeot tow car with them.

Knowing they were always good for a laugh, I noticed them returning in the car one evening when we were walking back to our RV.

No-one around I thought I would 'moon' at them. Dropped the strides a little bit and waved my 'Arris at them, :moon2: and.....yup, similar car, wrong couple. :doh:

Craig
 
I was shopping with my wife in the lingerie department in Selfridges when I came across a manikin dressed in bright red ladies sexy underwear and fish net stockings. I grabbed my wife's hand pulled her close to me and whispered in her ear " do you fancy wearing that for me tonight" When I suddenly saw my wife on the other side of the counter. I had hold of some other woman's hand, a complete stranger. Luckily she saw the funny side.
 
When I was still working I attended a function at the local RAF base. One of the Officers that I knew apologised for the absence of the Station Commander as he was attending a Golf medal presentation.

When I asked what they had won he looked at me in surprise and said “Only a bloody War”.

He had actually said “Gulf medals”, after the second Gulf War.

I never lived it down!
 
Techno said:
On more than one occasion I've removed a sink trap and reached up and over to pour the contents into the sink and guess who's under the sink with the trap off :LOL: I know plumbers who admit they've got the T shirt
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My Mate done something similar but he lived in a two stories maisonette upstairs, it was a hot day so all the windows were open and he decided to throw the dirty water out, unbeknown to him is neighbor was sunbathing below his window and got the lot , she screamed and my mate went and hid telling his wife not to answer the door,
 
maison said:
When I was still working I attended a function at the local RAF base. One of the Officers that I knew apologised for the absence of the Station Commander as he was attending a Golf medal presentation.

When I asked what they had won he looked at me in surprise and said “Only a bloody War”.

He had actually said “Gulf medals”, after the second Gulf War.

I never lived it down!
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That's the best one ever :D:D:D

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I caught up with a long lost pal about two years ago and after a few beers and a few hours of reminiscing I joked about "that fat ugly spotty bird" that he had brought to a function one night.

Reply: "We've been married 20-years now".

He and I have not spoken since.:censored::D
 
Here's another one I've just remembered..

A few years ago a girlfriend and I stayed at a small guesthouse in Torquay. After a particularly indulgent night of drinking I got up during the night to use the toilet but went out the door into the hallway by mistake. The door had a fire closure so immediately shut behind me. There were no lights on and in my drunken state I quickly got disorientated to where I was and which room I'd come out from. Bare in mind I am naked at this point. It's all a bit vague to be honest but I remember knocking random doors hoping my girlfriend would let me in, evidently not the right ones.. 'Who is it? What do you want?' and I distinctly remember saying (like it was a completely normal thing to say in the middle of the night) 'Can you let me in please, I've got no clothes on' - every response ended with an '..off' as you can well imagine. My follow up of 'can I at least have a towel' was met with a similar response. What an idiot!!

In the end I went downstairs, out the front door and rang the bell, a few minutes later the owner appeared, looked me up and down shaking his head and led me to my room.
 
I remember that when I was about 14/15 years old I was sitting upstairs at the front of a London bus. As my stop was coming up I suddenly got an uncalled for and unwanted powerful erection as boys they age sometimes do. I had to walk the length of the bus to the stairs at the rear passing several girls who I knew from school. It was summer and I just had a shirt and trousers on so nothing to hide my embarrassment. I have always remembered some knowing smiles and giggles which were often repeated when I saw the girls around and about for some time afterwards.
 
iandsm said:
I remember that when I was about 14/15 years old I was sitting upstairs at the front of a London bus. As my stop was coming up I suddenly got an uncalled for and unwanted powerful erection as boys they age sometimes do. I had to walk the length of the bus to the stairs at the rear passing several girls who I knew from school. It was summer and I just had a shirt and trousers on so nothing to hide my embarrassment. I have always remembered some knowing smiles and giggles which were often repeated when I saw the girls around and about for some time afterwards.
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I hope you put your signature into play :dance2:
 
iandsm said:
I remember that when I was about 14/15 years old I was sitting upstairs at the front of a London bus. As my stop was coming up I suddenly got an uncalled for and unwanted powerful erection as boys they age sometimes do. I had to walk the length of the bus to the stairs at the rear passing several girls who I knew from school. It was summer and I just had a shirt and trousers on so nothing to hide my embarrassment. I have always remembered some knowing smiles and giggles which were often repeated when I saw the girls around and about for some time afterwards.
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I have done that a few times, but I was smart, stay on the bus until it subsided. Had to walk bloody miles back sometimes. :laughing:

Craig
 
Silver-Fox said:
Cant see an issue :)
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Today you can just gender identify as a man, woman, goat, unsure etc. so no problem. Back then it was all about chromosomes and facts, all so yesterday now.
 
simsy56 said:
On a campsite in Spain, a couple I know had brought their blue Peugeot tow car with them.

Knowing they were always good for a laugh, I noticed them returning in the car one evening when we were walking back to our RV.

No-one around I thought I would 'moon' at them. Dropped the strides a little bit and waved my 'Arris at them, :moon2: and.....yup, similar car, wrong couple. :doh:

Craig
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On a rugby away trip years ago we decided to moon to the car behind our coach. It was dark at the time.

Next thing blue lights. It had been a police car behind us

We all rushed to the front of the coach and denied everything and the poor coppers were so peed off when they realised they couldn’t prove a peanut.

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