Childbirth...

[mogbl]

Should children witness childbirth?
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call.
The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 5 yr old girl to hold a
torch high over her mummy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.
Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked.
Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.
The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom.
Connor began to cry.
The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 5-yr old
what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Kathleen quickly responded,
"He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place ....
skelp his arse again!"

 

[Puddleduck]

The old ones are the errrrrrr.........

 

[DuxDeluxe]

Or should I say "pant" and "push"?

 

[DBK]

I witnessed my birth. Don't remember it though.

 

[dryad]

am often asked what sign i was born under, think it was the one that said exit..

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[sedge]

The 4 year old grandson of a lady I worked with didn't witness the birth, itself (dad delivered baby on the kitchen floor with the phone to Emergency Services pressed to his ear!) but did witness his mum's waters breaking.

Dad rushed round next door with him and by the time he got back 2 minutes later it was a 'Dial 999' jobbie.

Liam proudly told everyone he met for quite some time afterwards 'My mummy WET herself - all over the kitchen floor!' and nothing at all about 'My new sister' ..........

 

[Chris]

I was born by Caesarian section.

It hasn't really affected me but when I leave the house I tend to use the window rather than the front door.

 

[DuxDeluxe]

I was born by Caesarian section.

We all wondered why you dress in a toga and like gladiatorial conflicts...

 

[old-mo]

I was born under a gooseberry bush at the bottom of the garden..

Mummy told me so...

 

[pappajohn]

I was born under a gooseberry bush at the bottom of the garden..

Mummy told me so...

A stork brought me...

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[Puddleduck]

When my daughter was born my son told everyone at school that the only exciting thing to have happened over Easter was that his Grandma had come and taken him to Colwyn Bay.... when asked about anything else he just looked blank until prompted - "oh and Mummy went to hospital and brought back a baby sister", obviously not a big deal then, certainly not as good as a trip to Colwyn Bay!

 

[sedge]

Pete came home from school one day to be told and see for himself - his litt;e brother.

he was asked what he thought of him at some point shortly thereafter, so he told the truth. He was alright, he supposed - but he'd much rather have had a dog.

Luckily for both of them, John grew on him later.