A naturalist or naturist weekend...

Discussion in 'Motorhome Chat' started by Mousy, Mar 8, 2015.

  1. Mousy

    Mousy Funster Life Member

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    Its Thursday and the weather report for the weekend forecasts wall to wall sunshine, spring has sprung in all her glory, my daffs are out, primroses are littering the lawn like left over confetti, there are buds on all our trees and that wonderful feeling of the worst of winter being behind us. "The season" stretches ahead, it's time for a weekend away in the van.

    I start to look up sites which might be open, I know roughly where I want to go and my requirements seem simple, somewhere peaceful with nice walks where we can chill out for a few days. Quickly before I head out for the day I log onto ukcampsites and start skimming down the list, finding sites which are open is tricky but I fire off an email to a place which sounds ideal, 23 acres of walks right on a tidal estuary full of nature. I explain in my brief message that we don't need any facilities (in case their shower blocks aren't yet open) just a place to park for a night or two.

    I return home to the sound of the phone and a lovely friendly voice the other end is the site owner..

    "Have you been before?" she asks

    "No" says I but I explain we know the area well and their site looks lovely, I'm relieved to hear it's open and they may have availability, but I sense a hesitatation...

    "Are you both Naturists?" She asks,

    It's this question which causes me to pause and I realise my mistake, in my haste I'd misread naturalist for naturist, this is in fact a nudist site :Eeek:

    Now fellow Funsters its at this point I should of owned up to my stupidity, thanked this lovely warm friendly lady for calling back and excused myself.

    BUT instead I find myself waffling on about going topless in France (many moons ago) and a brief foray into skinny dipping. Followed with the immortal phrase "my husband is". We are swiftly booked in for Saturday night.

    More to follow...
     
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  2. hilldweller

    hilldweller Funster Life Member

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    I imagine the pictures will be well scrutinised.
     
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  3. DBK

    DBK Funster

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    In March?
     
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  4. Cat53

    Cat53 Funster

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    Waiting with bated breath!
     
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  5. catspyjamas

    catspyjamas Funster

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    We should set up a sweepstake as to whether you will dare lower your blinds in the morning!
     
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  6. Wildbill

    Wildbill Funster

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    I worked down in st Austal we were doing some site investigation work on the beach when this guy came up warring nothing but a smile to ask us what we were doing.
    bill
     
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  7. Mikey RV

    Mikey RV Funster

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    A post is no good without photos, just get the timing right in case were eating. :eek:
     
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  8. New Dawn

    New Dawn Funster

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    Don't forget your camera !!! (y)(y);) Enjoy anyway.
     
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  9. jonandshell

    jonandshell Funster

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    A naturist naturalist site could be fun!

    Imagine all that naked birdwatching!:D
     
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  10. DBK

    DBK Funster

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    But would binoculars be allowed?
     
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  11. jonandshell

    jonandshell Funster

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    Hopefully the local species, especially the tits, would be close enough not to require them for successful viewing!
     
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  12. Lenny HB

    Lenny HB Funster

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    I like German beaches they don't have "Naturist Beaches" they have
    "Textile Beaches" when you are supposed to keep your costume on, not that the Germans take much notice.

    March in the UK must be mad.:)
     
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  13. jockaneezer

    jockaneezer Funster

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    I should imagine the first couple of days may be the hardest :LOL:
     
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  14. Mousy

    Mousy Funster Life Member

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    By Thursday night Ive told half my friends, the kitchen designer and the kids about the weekends plans...but not Mr Mousy.
    He's been away with work all week and is so stressed out he's not sleeping. I imagine all sorts of ways of telling him, from the subtle...(don't worry about packing any clothes this weekend) to the direct...I've inadvertently booked us into a naturist site and your the nudist.
    In my minds eye I keep getting the same response from him regardless of how I broach the subject...neatly summed up by him uttering the phase FFS whilst rolling his eyes heavenwards.
    Luckily my daughter is so bemused by my ineptitude that she tells him as he starts the 5 hour drive home. So by the time he drags his weary face over the threshold, he is past caring.
    I've been holding onto the fact that's its March and i just can't picture people walking about in the cold naked. So I blithely say lets just go and see. Mr Mousy has far more important things on his mind due to work and so takes the path of least resistance.

    We set off with the hope and expectation of good weather. Vaguely knowing our way except for the last mile or 2 which we use the vans sat nav. Big mistake, we turn into a lane which rapidly gets so narrow the stone wall and banked hedges on each side are mere centimetres away. There is a thunk as my mirror hits a tree and I stop admiring the snowdrops which are inches from my nose and start paying attention to the hedge. In these situations it is the fear of the unknown that's proves most stressful, how long is this lane? Will it get narrower? What if a car comes in front of us? Etc.
    we have opposing ways of dealing with this stress, I try and make light of the situation whilst Mr Mousy gets wound up. We are now at the marital situation of Defcon 1.

    We finally make it onto the site with no damage to the van, but I get the feeling the last thing Mr Mousy wants to see now is a naked male site warden....

    To be continued
     
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  15. Fenman

    Fenman Funster

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    Well it could be a load of old b****cks or, of course, it could go t**ts up.:)

    Hope you enjoy yourselves and look forward to seeing the proof in due course.;)
     
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  16. DuxDeluxe

    DuxDeluxe Funster Life Member

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    Makes our little get together at Rutland with @Mike B, @Dawn B and @cruiser sound a little tame......

    .....will not be suggesting to them that we do the same.:Eeek:
     
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  17. deanroofing

    deanroofing Funster

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  18. Stephen & Jeannie

    Stephen & Jeannie Read Only Funster

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    Location:
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    If you haven't tried it, don't knock it !
    Google naturist camping Montalivet ! It's a whole new camping experience!
    Great prices too , early and late season !:france::france::party2:
     
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  19. Granjan

    Granjan Funster

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    :wine:More payload for the wine
     
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  20. TheCaller

    TheCaller Funster

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    Certainly won't be much for Mousy to admire. :whistle:
     
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