Family reactions (1 Viewer)

[christinekontiki]

We have recently told our various assorted kids and kinfolk of our plans to up and go in the next 12-18 months and mostly the reaction has been a positive one.

Good for you, wish I'd done it - from my 74 year old dad

Might as well enjoy life while you can - from best friend

Brilliant idea - 26 year old step son

BUT...... my youngest daughter (20) isnt a happy bunny. She is worried that we wont be safe, that we will be away from our families, we are giving up everything we have (jobs, house etc...) we may live to regret it etc etc etc.

I really dont know what to say to her. She feels I am abandoning her. Part of me feels terribly guilty for even considering leaving her, but another part is quite frankly annoyed that she is being so selfish - can t she see this is something we have thought about long and hard and now the decision is made, we just want to get on with it?

Any advice on how to deal with it, and make the next few months bearable.

She doesnt live with us either so its not as if we are chucking her out on the street !!!
oh:
The rest of the kids are all supportive and think its great, only she is being negative and I just dont know what to do

 

[mondo]

We did exactly the same in 2008..we had a couple of negative replies but on the whole most of the family gave us positive vibes..At the end of the day it is your decision that counts no one else..after we quit full timing and moved to Tenerife the people we spoke to about what we'd done all said OOH I wish I could do that to which I always replied Don't think DO!!

Good luck to you on your travels..

 

[sdc77]

I think all you can do is stand by your decision.. You bought your children up and cared for them... Provided for them until they could support themselves and now you should be able to do as you wish... Whatever makes you happy.. And they should support you.. Even if they disagree. Explain to her that this is what you want and reassure her you will keep in regular touch and visit often...
Then just do it


Good luck

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[MrMotorhome]

We offered our daughter to fly out and meet up with us while we travelled......

We did this in Benidorm over last Christmas for four days, she loved Benidorm and had a great time meeting other funsters whilst there. :thumb: Great memories.

 

[Munchie]

Our daughter said "oh my god, I will have to tell all my friends my parents are gippoes"

The son said "pfft there goes our inheritance"

 

[Easyliving]

Hi

We sold our house last year, got rid of most of our junk and put the rest in storage. Then we set off for a 4 month tour round parts of Europe, mostly France.

We 'fulltimed' last winter without problems but then my wife dediced she 'needs a base' so we are back in a house for now.

We had nothing but positive reactions from our 3 kids and the rest of the family and friends. Sure, some people will think you are reckless, mad or both but the point is - you have to try it! Life is too short not to follow your dream.

You should head over to www.motorhome365.com, the full timers forum, also run by Jim. On there you will get answers to any questions you may have.

Good luck.

Paul

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[Phill D]

you only live once and you must live for yourselves not your daughter. she will be 21 + by the time you upsticks and could well have a partner and have moved out by then.

as hard as it is she must live her life as she appears to have already chosen to live away from you, its not as if your not going to be able to communicate. with todays technology "skype etc" not only can you chat but see each other daily if you wanted.

not easy but my view is that somehow she needs to understand your needs and wishes as well as hers.

 

[christinekontiki]

Our daughter said "oh my god, I will have to tell all my friends my parents are gippoes"

The son said "pfft there goes our inheritance"

:thumb: We had a similar reaction from our other kids and my son in law now calls me Itinerant ..... its ok tho, cos he is married to my daughter, thats all the revenge I need :Cool:

Its just the littlest one thats kicking off, and she has always known how to press my buttons. She is 20 - going on 5 :shout:

I think she will just have to get used to the idea, its going to happen no matter how much of a paddy she throws. I just feel guilty :Angry:

 

[june123]

When I sold up my house and moved 175 miles to The Midlands my children were shocked. Even my son (well into his forties then) and living in the USA for years said he thought "home would always be there". My daughter who left home at 18 also felt she was losing her past roots - not that she couldn't wait to leave home and rarely visited. Neither of them disagreed with my decision but didn't like the idea. Your daughter may well be a little insecure. She may have chosen to leave home but likes the idea of a home base being in the background for non-existent emergencies. I don't know how far you are going but point out there will always be room for her wherever you are. And then let her get on with it!

There has to be time when we can put ourselves first after years of having to do the opposite.

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[ourcampersbeentrashed]

Ive edited your post and put comments below.

Good for you, wish I'd done it - from my 74 year old dad
enjoy life while you can - bf
Brilliant idea - 26 year old step son

Dads are very intelligent and very protective of their daughters. Tell your daughter that her grandad would not approve if you were going to do something silly and take reassurance from your Dads words

my youngest daughter (20)is worried that

a) we wont be safe

b) away from our families,

c) giving up everything we have (jobs, house etc...)

d) we may live to regret it etc etc etc.

e) feels I am abandoning her.

Children find safety in knowing exactly where there parents are, especially as they get older. Children also feel they have a right to use parents as babysitters, as emergency services and as a bank (amongst other things) and to drop in on you whenever they feel like it.

It may be she feels you are removing all the safety nets or she may have visions of it all going wrong and you moving in with her permanently. It may also be if you are selling the house she was brought up in, its all those memories going too



Your feelings when posting were

a)terribly guilty for even considering leaving her,

b) partly annoyed that she is being so selfish

c) wanting next few months to be bearable

d) just dont know what to do

Now for your feelings. You have no reason to feel guilty you have brought your daughter up to stand on her own two feet and is obviously capable of it or she would still be living with you and tied to the apron strings. You spent your time bringing up children and NOW is YOUR time to enjoy. She needs to realise and appreciate this.

Children can be very selfish and very protective but they cannot rule your life forever.



Yours is your life, no one else can live it for you. Go and do what makes you happy whilst you have the health to enjoy it.

Dont feel guilty and be strong in the decisions you make.

Best wishes and good luck with it

 

[Ralph-n-Bev]

You have to do what you want. As you say one life live it etc etc .
If your daughters not living at home with you then , i cant see a problem with it you arnt actually making her homeless. That would be different.
But , i do agree with her. I wouldnt do it.
Unless i lived in a bad area , had no money apart from the equity in the house , and wanted to travel , or was having a mid life crisis. It wouldnt appeal to us, as much as we love going off in the motorhome.
We'd rather downsize the house , go off for longer tours in the motorhome , and still have a house to go back to. Have family christmases and get togethers , with the children ( and grandchildren eventually ) But everyones different.
Good Job. or the roads would be packed with motorhomes

 

[pappajohn]

while i understand her fears she is 20 years old with her own life...just as you have yours.

dont rearrange your plans and desires to please someone else.....she'll get over it and realise you will be fine.!

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[Fireman Sam]

Remember this life is only a rehearsal. You can postpone your dreams and do it all during your next incarnation.

 

[Hollyberry]

She probably just needs time to process all the information, her concerns etc...

I've always been the adventurous one in the family, my daughter is ultra conservative, and she took some while to get used to me leaving UK in 2005.

Kids grow up, have ther own lives to lead. And remember the old saying, If you've parented them well they'll leave home and fly.

Just give her a bit of time, she'll get used to the idea.

 

[FULL TIMER]

Get on and follow your dreams, she will get over it, we sold up everything nearly seven years ago and have been fulltiming ever since, although only in Britain, my mother was the one who had all the doubts and I think she was rather embarrassed by us living in a caravan at the time, even though we had been bought up amongst gypsies and most of our and her friends were also gypsies, a little touch of snobbery maybe, strange thing is she seems to have accepted it more now maybe it's because we are in a motorhome now either that or she has just got used to the idea.

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