Daftest thing a warden ever said to you (1 Viewer)

ips

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Jul 3, 2009
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Have always camped, caravaned or had boats. Now in our second year with the motorhome.
Well here goes my one of many ............
We recently stayed on a CC site, unfortunately we ran out of tea bags and I cant drink coffee so................off to the office / shop thing we went (good excuse for a wander if nothing else). Conversation went as follows......

ips - "Good afternoon"
warden - a reply
ips - "Do you have any tea bags"
warden - "No we dont stock them as there's no call for them, we have them in summer though.
ips - "Well there is a call for them in winter when I run out"
warden no 2 - theres a shop three miles away that will have them.

Mrs ips and I had just walked the 3 miles there and 3 miles back so werent going again, so out came the scooter for a run.

Conclusion..
No one drinks tea in winter :Doh:
 

madbluemad

Banned
Jan 26, 2008
3,327
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spain
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just looking
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since 1980
Went into shop/cabin to book in

Me: Hello there, how are you today

Warden: You cant bring that dog in here

Me: Why not

Warden: Its against the law

Me: What law

Warden: We sell food

Me: What food

Warden: Jars of Jam

Me: Where

Warden: Up there on that shelf

Me: But the dog cant reach up there and their all sealed up anyway

Warden: Well you still cant bring the dog in here.

Me: Ok thanks a lot, if my dog cant come in I'll take my money somewhere else, Goodbye.

It was just the attitude.

Jim
:Smile:
 

Geo

Trader - Funster
Jul 29, 2007
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You cant stay here, your rear end will over hang the grass:RollEyes: I hope he meant the Rvs
I want you off site by 9am:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO: not a chance in hell:winky:
Rvs use 3 times more leccy than caravans:Eeek: He's wrong its at least 6:Doh:
Geo

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ips

ips

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Jul 3, 2009
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Have always camped, caravaned or had boats. Now in our second year with the motorhome.
I am soooooo glad its not just me ........... mrs ips and daughter think its me thats grumpy :ROFLMAO:
 
Dec 23, 2007
4,077
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Wirral
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1,064
MH
Hobby Van Kenobi
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started when I was 11 with my parents-forgot to stop!been real one since 1980!
Warden;keep those kids quiet please
Me; sorry I can't hear you over the loud Country and Western music coming from that pensioner's caravan opposite,you know just behind where you are standing!!!
 

scotjimland

LIFE MEMBER
Jul 25, 2007
2,084
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Suffolk Coastal District, UK
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15
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Timberland
NO Footie

Another true one , Rowantree CC site Bognor

Arrived at check in barrier, beside the block house.. (still not exited the RV)

Warder (deliberate spelling) pokes his head out of the guard house, I poke mine out of the drivers window .

He shouts out :

" There are NO Ball games or football allowed on site .. "

Puzzled, I looked back inside the RV .. but couldn't see any balls flying about so said..

"I can read the signs, besides, we hadn't planned on playing footie, "

He replies..

"But you have a kid on board.. just make sure she doesn't" ..

I was aghast at his manner, but just at that moment a dog ( not on a leash) wandered up and peed all over the potted plant by the door.. the yellow stain spread like an evil river slowly across his porch ...
I though he was going to bust a vein.. he came storming out armed with a bucket and mop and proceeded to swab the deck ..

.. It took a lot of restraint to hold back my mirth :roflmto: and the look on his face .... as they say PRICELESS .. :roflmto:

Needless to say we have never returned to that site .. shame really, it is a nice location and well kept ..

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scotjimland

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Jul 25, 2007
2,084
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Suffolk Coastal District, UK
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You cant stay here, your rear end will over hang the grass:RollEyes:

Geo

Had the same complaint from a CC Warder ..

You can't park like that, your rear end will kill the grass..

So, I said, you want me to move forward and block the road ?

No, he says, just a little so the light gets to the grass... :Doh:

Nearby, a dirty great twin axle caravan, circus sized awaning with a grounsheet which of course doesn't kill the grass :Doh: my ass :RollEyes:
 
OP
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ips

ips

Free Member
Jul 3, 2009
506
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Have always camped, caravaned or had boats. Now in our second year with the motorhome.
No -2
About 15yrs ago at Kewick C&CC site. Just passing supermarket at top of lane and knowing the difficulty of turning a caravan around without going all the way round the site I thought I would save the hassle and ring them.

ips - good aftrenoon I am just enquiring as to the availability of a pitch for tonight and tommorow.
warden - have you booked ?
ips - no..if I had I wouldnt be enquiring would I
warden - you cannot make a phone booking for only 2 nights (or something like that)
ips - I am enquiring as to if you have a pitch available if not I wont bother driving down the lane as I am just passing the supermarket.
warden - i am sorry but I cant give you that information over the phone
ips - puts phone down and goes to another site
 
Jan 7, 2010
371
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9,842
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Van conversion
Sevenoaks CC&C site.
This was the first site we ever stayed on a CC&C site in our campervan. We clearly were not used to the ways. or as he put it, the 'etiquette; of the site. My husband had phoned and been told 'to just drive straight on'. We thought it a bit strange as we'd normally book in first but ... that's what he was told. So that's what we did, drove straight on to the almost empty site, parked up and got out to go to the office, The warden was already on his way and clearly not happy. He told us off like naughty children for not coming to the office, for parking where we did, indeed for just about everything. I then asked him if he had a problem, to which he replied NO.
We would have moved on but just saw the funny side of it. Don't think we'll be back though,
violet
 

scotjimland

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Jul 25, 2007
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We have an experienced ex CC warden on the forum ... :thumb:

perhaps he could tell a tale or two from the Wardens prospective ?

... they can't all be bad ... can they :Eeek:

Over to you Dick :winky:
 

froghopper

Free Member
Nov 29, 2009
412
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c class
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before they were invented
how nice

what am i doing on a site that has so many difficult people on it,, how can you all be horrible to those nice people,, when you know you cant drink tea in the winter,,, shame on you, and as for having a large rear over hang,, well we all have a cross to bear,, but the underlying thread i feel is that you ,,,in case you hadnt worked it out were all on a C C site,,, and NOT in a caravan,,,,, again,, shame on you,,,,:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:but on same theme, we once had a tiny romahome and the porta loo was very small, we were on a run to hampshire from scotland and needed to empty the loo, called into broadway c c site,, asked if we may empty toilet into disposal ,,,,, sorry only ifyou stay,, i said please may my partner use toilet,, fine, be my guest, so i put cassette into black sack, went to loo and empty potti..
i made sure no spillage, i took baby wipes and made dam sure was clean for next person,, as we pulled out they had the cheek to wave goodby to us,, :Angry::Angry::Angry::Angry::Angry: oh yes, warder asked us to park on disposal point while we used toilet:thumb::thumb::thumb:

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evans88

Free Member
Jul 8, 2008
171
1
South Devon
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Hi Top
Exp
7
Caravan Club site Cherry Hinton about 20 years ago.


"You have to move your caravan 6 inches to the left as you are not parked in the middle of the post.":Doh:
 

dellwood33

Free Member
Apr 25, 2009
0
877
Newcastle
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6,426
MH
italian crap
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too long
Caravan Club site Cherry Hinton about 20 years ago.


"You have to move your caravan 6 inches to the left as you are not parked in the middle of the post.":Doh:


Similar experience up the Hope Valley - Warder wanted my caravan moved 4 inches to the left as I was wrongly parked at the post.:Eeek:
I asked him where the post should be positioned & he showed me and strode off. I knocked out the post & re-positioned it to the correct place - job done ::bigsmile:
 

JohnM

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Nov 8, 2008
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Since Feb 2009 and 40yrs c/vaning
We have an experienced ex CC warden on the forum ... :thumb:

perhaps he could tell a tale or two from the Wardens prospective ?

... they can't all be bad ... can they :Eeek:

Over to you Dick :winky:
Been a member for 27 odd years never had a problem.So the answer is no they are not all bad.
JohnM. :whatthe:

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moandick

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Jul 28, 2007
1,312
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Landrake, Cornwall
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24
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Euro-shed
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40 +
You MUST remember that this happened in the OLD days when the Caravan Club used to put the pegs to one side of the pitch - not in the middle as they do nowadays.

I am still friends with the family who were Wardens of Threeways site in Cornwall in 1987 when we first came home from BAOR with a German 'Hobby' caravan - naturally with the door on the 'wrong' side.

I booked in and was told I could park anywhere I liked as they were not full BUT although there were spaces everywhere they were all between other caravans - there just weren't two spaces together. So I chose a pitch, unhitched the caravan and proceeded to push it nose first onto the pitch so that my awning would go up on the same side of the pitch as all the other caravans.

"Can't do that" say's Mrs Warden.

"why not?" says I

"Because you'll be the wrong side of the peg" says she.

"But if I put the caravan the right side of the peg I will be parked on the grass" says I.

"No matter, That's the way it must be" says she.

So I push the caravan out and then push it back in on the other side of the peg - at which point Mr Warden arrives and says - "Can't do that"

"Why not?" says I

"Because you have to put your caravan in backwards so that we can pull it out quick in the event of a fire - can't put it in frontwards, 'cos THE Rules don't allow that" says he.

So I pull the caravan out turn it around and push it in backwards - with the wrong corner toward the peg (remember my door is on the 'wrong side).

"Can't do that" say's the Warden

"Why not?" says I

"Because you have to have that corner of your caravan on the peg", says he.

"But if I put that corner of the caravan on the peg my awning will be on the wrong side and it will only be about 6 inches away from awning on the carava next door - can't you move the peg?"

"Can't help that - that's what The Rules state!" says he.

So I pulled the caravan out and reverse it onto the 'proper' side of the pitch - at which point both Wardens walk away feeling very happy with themselves - so I start to put the awning up. I apologised to the family next door - but luckily they had been listening to the conversation and the instructions from the Warden so were prepared for it.

As I was pegging the sidewalls of the awning down up comes Mr Warden and says "Can't do that"

"What's wrong now?" says I

"You put your awning up on the wrong side - your car is meant to be parked on that side" says he.

"But that is the side that my awning is meant to be on - that is the side where my door is" says I.

"Never no mind - you can't put your awning up on that side 'cos that is the side where you car is meant to be according to The Rules" says he.

You may well gather that by now I am getting just a little frustrated - so I look at him very 'sweetly' and ask him where he would like me to put my Caravan - other than in his nether regions!

He and his wife went into a huddle for about ten minutes, walked around the caravan several times and then said - "We'll have to ask Head Office for advice - be back in a few minutes"

So Mo and I sit in our 'as yet' unpitched Caravan and have a welcome cup of tea.

About an hour later - back come the Wardens and Mr Wardens say that they have had to work at it but after a heated discussion with Head Office they have managed to obtain very special permission - just for this one occasion - to allow us to park our caravan in the wrong place on the pitch - "but we will have to do something about it before we go to another Caravan Club Site, because that special permission is only allowed just this one time!" says he.

And guess where that special permission allowed us to park - in exactly the place that I had pitched nearly two hours previously - nose inwards and on the wrong side of the pitch!

Not long afterwards, we did do something about having a caravan with the door on the wrong side - we became Wardens ourselves and the Caravan Club gave us our own pitch with a fence all around it!

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dazzer

Free Member
Jul 30, 2007
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In my house
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MH
Virtual RV!!
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10 Years
Turned up at a C&CC site near the FarnIslands where we go diving. Went in the same RV we went in the year before with no problems.

Me
Hi were with the diving group booked for the bank holiday weekend can you tell me where youve put them as we booked together.

Hitler
You cant bring that thing on here its far to big.

Me
But we came last year and it wasnt a problem

Hitler
Well I wasnt here last year but you cant bring it on its to big

Me.
Why is it to big? You dont have any pitches marked out its just a big field?

Hitler
Im telling you its to big, you wont be able to manouver it safely and you will damage the grass.

Me
Give me 1 go at it and if the grass is damaged i will pay to fix it.

By this time about 30-40 of our diving club had rallied round to see what all the fuss is about. Remember the RV had the boat on the back and was carrying the compressor so it was kind of important that we got on site!!!

Hitler
Right you get 1 try and i will be watching ANY damage and you pay for it!!!

Me
Drives RV into slot made for me by the rest of the club on rock hard ground not even leaving a tyre print!!

Hitler
Hhhhmmmppppp. Theres no hookups on this site so youll be out of power by morning anyway.

Me
No problem, ill just crank up the genny!!!!!

Hitler
We dont allow generators on site you can leave it in the office lock up if you like.

Me
(Opening side locker where the genny is shoehorned into a tiny space). Its in there, help yourself!! Oh and are we ok to run the compressor to fill the diving tanks.

Hitler
Yes compressors are ok :Eeek:

Me
Ok so we wont run the almost silent generator but the gert onkin compressor that runs at 150 decibels will be running for most of the afternoon then.

Hitler
Thats fine but i will be checking on the generator and if I find your using it you will be asked to leave.

Me
No problem!!!

We ran the genny when the compressor was running and never saw the miserable bugger again. What a prat:Doh:
 

irishrver

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Apr 28, 2008
10
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us rv
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9
I am heading over to the UK at Easter not sure what to expect now after reading these posts :ROFLMAO: bring my own tea hide the kids park within 1cm of post :cry: and make sure my butt will not overhang the grass :Sad: I better hide the Easter eggs in our own pitch or that might break some other rule :shout:
 

yorkshirepudding

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Sound like these rules are made for people like us.

To keep us away!!!:Sad:.

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Jaws

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Sep 26, 2008
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Irish, tis simple !! Avoid bloody CC and C&CC sites ! LOL !! :roflmto:
 

Geo

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Jul 29, 2007
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45 +years with breaks
I am heading over to the UK at Easter not sure what to expect now after reading these posts :ROFLMAO: bring my own tea hide the kids park within 1cm of post :cry: and make sure my butt will not overhang the grass :Sad: I better hide the Easter eggs in our own pitch or that might break some other rule :shout:
Easter Eggs not permitted:Doh:
It may upset some ethnic who dont celebrate easter:cry::cry::cry:
 

dshague

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Aug 22, 2007
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on a ccc site last year went to pay for the three nights offered him cash .he says not got any change ,can you pay by debit card .this i do .
now want a calor gas .offer him my card he says we only take cash for gas .offer him the cash ,not got any change .its now time to close office .he says there is a garage down the road about 3 miles they sell gas .told him were to put the bottle .:cry:

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allie sommerville

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Dec 30, 2009
154
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Irish, tis simple !! Avoid bloody CC and C&CC sites ! LOL !! :roflmto:
Agreed :RollEyes:

This thread is hilarious!

The worst one we had was at the C & CC Kendal

Me (trying to be friendly): Morning! What's the weather doing today?

Warden (on little ride-on mower): Don't ask me. I haven't got all day to waste sitting in front of the TV watching the weather forecast!

And they call themselves the FRIENDLY CLUB :RollEyes:
 

muz

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Nov 15, 2007
133
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a class
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10 years
cc site

went to a cc site in cornwall 2008 my son and daughter in law came to stay for a week,paid all dues,next morning hitler and mates gave them a right good rollaking 4 of um,about showering together,my son who is blind and injured so badly standing there in shorts,with scars the whole lengh of his legs,a temporary knee, on crutches,didnt even know they were talking to him,my daughter in law in tears,my dragon went ape at them,they said they should have told them he was blind and very disabled.[they couldnt see?]as if.later that week the area manager came my dragon gave him the works,still waiting for appology.muz
 

haganap

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Dec 5, 2007
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I'm an oldbie MH number 9
Blakenmore CCC site.

We arrive with our caravan at 11-45 am. Kids are raring to get out, aged only 5 and 6 or there abouts. I go in to the office all smiley looking forward to our long weekend.

hi we have a reservation

HITLER- sorry can't come in till 12

Me-
But its just gone 11-45 can I not get paid up and ready etc?

HITLER no you will have to leave.

Me
?leave???

Hitler-
Yes leave and come back at 12.

Me-
look its only 10 mins away Ill wait outside in the car for ten.

Hitler,
NO you WILL HAVE TO GO.

Me-
can I come on the site and turn around?

HITLER-
No you will have to reverse.

I then was forced to reverse up a lane I had not gone 200ft when 12 0clock struck and we were being waved back.

In to the office.

HITLER
Hello sir and welcome to our site:Angry::Angry:

We had the last laugh, the site flooded big time and we had to watch him clean all the crap from the overflowed system.:ROFLMAO:

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SandJ

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Sep 14, 2007
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Too long lol
Arrived on site and placed Hymer motorhome the opposite way to others due to door on opposite side. "You must have the engine at the road side"....."why" said I. "Because the rules state all vans must face the road in case of fire and can be easily driven off". He said

I offered him a race...."you try hooking up that caravan and getting it to the exit", "I will reverse all the way around the whole site and pass you again doing the figure of 8 circuit then arriving at the exit"....who do you think will win I said. "Does not matter, fire regs state you must park,blah, blah"

We said sorry to the caravan next door for facing their door, until every time we exited the door a bloody dog (we do not hate dogs by the way) not on a lead that belonged to next door kept snapping at our heels. Guess what sign was by their van!!!!! Dogs must be on a lead at all times :Doh:

We complained about the dog and not being able to leave without being attacked, the reply was..............................why is your door facing their door? you must have your van the wrong way, turn it around so it is the right way. :Eeek: :Doh:

:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
 

nozzmoking

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Jul 31, 2008
205
0
West Berkshire
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MH
RV
Exp
Since 2008
Me: Hi, I booked by phone for a couple of nights.

Warden: Hi, yes here we are. Pitch 78.

Me: Thanks.

Warden: You're welcome. Enjoy your stay.



Sorry, best I could offer. Haven't been motorhoming long. :thumb: :RollEyes:
 

Landy lover

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Jul 11, 2009
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Camping Caravaning now 5'ering 49 years
We have had many similar experiences one particular one though sticks in our mind - we were taking a late holiday in October about 5 years ago and decided to start in North Cornwall on a CC site - we had a 20ft Burstner caravan and the weather was really balmy and warm so there we are happy and relaxed and in a chatty mood when we arrived at about 2.00pm

Us - Good afternoon - we are booked in for a few days - really lovely day is'nt it

Mrs Warden - would be if it wasn't for all these bl**dy caravaners

Us - but its perfect caravaning weather - the last chance for many to get a break in before Xmas

Mrs Warden - Yes but we are closing in a fortnight for the winter and are trying to clear up and get things right as soon as possible. Last thing we want is lots of people around while we are closing up.

At that point we decided we would never get a smile or a cheerfull comment so paid up our dues and had a fantastic few days before going down to the Sennen cove CC site for the rest of our holiday that is run by the site owners for the CC and very happy cheerful people they are too.

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