INTERNET DATING, or not !! (1 Viewer)

Aug 15, 2014
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You know when you have just sent a text and then wish that you hadn't, I also may regret posting this but it is either this or the other, again !!

A brief history, I was happily married for 38 years until my wife developed the illness that she died of in 2008 so quite awhile ago now and although life goes on, as indeed it must, it just isn't the same.

After a number of years alone and 3 years into a relationship with another lady we both sold our properties and bought the property that I now live in alone, the reason being that after 5 months of living together the lady decided that she preferred to be on her own, she had previously been alone for 16 years.

So, another year down the line and aged 69, body slowly deteriorating but continuing to work as it is basically my social life, but I do also enjoy the job and I get paid for doing my hobby.

I am still reasonably active managing to run 30 miles a week although I am beginning to wonder the wisdom of competitive racing as I am naturally slowing down which winds me up, I don't need to run 5 miles badly to know that I can run 5 miles badly but it gets me out.

I am trying the solo motorhoming scene but to be honest I am finding it difficult to do anything as a solo, meeting couples unfortunately simply emphasises the fact that I am alone, catch 22.

So, should I be grateful that I have had the " happy ever after until death us do part" life that many people never find in the first place, eg, the lady who left me or should I press the button and say hello to the dating scene again, again :unsure:

I would appreciate anyone's thoughts thanks. As I said earlier I may regret posting this but if nothing else it has passed a little time and I detest football :whistle:

Norman.
 

hilldweller

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I also may regret posting this but it is either this or the other, again !!
Norman.

Well you'll certainly be swamped with conflicting views.

My view, I think you are stuffed. Once people get set in their ways they like the independence. To find a "soul-mate" who will blend in with you is one big ask.

But who knows, go prove me wrong.
 

movan

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The fact you are asking means you want to do it.

I love my own company. I love the meets and the company of many friends ... friendship can be more rewarding than a partnership. I would never do the dating agency thing .. if it happens it happens. If not then it not meant to be. The nearest I have got is a good friend currently pressuring me into a blind date with another of her friends .. who actually sounds perfect ... but I am ok as I am. Should our eyes meet across a crowded room and everyone else disappear I will know the time has come. :)

If you want it ... go for it.

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Sep 11, 2014
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Go with your instincts. It seems that you would feel more fulfilled if you had a partner to share your life with. That is true for many of us. Most things are better if you can experience them with a loved one.

I know people say "come along, you'll be welcomed" etc but its still difficult to be alone among couples even if they're not stuck together like glue. We've both been in that situation before we met, not that long ago, on the internet!

Go for it and have some fun again.

Karen

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laird of Dunstan

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About 4 years ago i found myself on my own ,my first thoughts were along the line of doing a solo motorcycle ride around the world ,i was treading time waiting on my house being sold ,i had bought a small house that i was living in and i thought id have a go at the online dating scene and i also started going to ceroc dancing
I ended up dating 14 ladys ,most were nice girls and some i dated twice ,i was just taking them out to dinner or for a coffee ,some were quite screwed up with a lot of emotional baggage and i had just about given up when i dated number 13 ,i had date 14 lined up as well , ill never forget seeing her walking down the road to where i had arranged to meet her ,i thought wow ,what a lovely looking woman ,she wont be interested in me , anyhow we went out for lunch and 9 hours later we were still giggling like teenagers ,we agreed to have a go at a relationship, 6 months later i moved in ,a couple of months ago we bought our first motorhome.

There are sucess stories and there are horror storys out there ,i wish you the best of good luck with online dating ,be honest in your profile and have a professional photo of yourself done ,selfies show a lack of confidence in mho,
make the profile amusing too ,that helps ,i may be that you find a good friend and not a sexual partner ,what ever you decide i wish you the best of good fortune and so does my missus(y)
 

movan

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........ to go back to Specsavers and tell them you specs keep falling off.


Brian!!! I was thinking more of the you tube west side story scene 8 Tony meets Maria.

I can't copy it on here on my phone .. can someone help please?
 
Apr 23, 2010
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Norman I applaud your spirit and for what its worth your search for a companion, after the loss of your wife.
I have personally had a similar journey after the tragic loss of my adored wife and believed that it was wrong for me to marr her memory.
Some good people in my life told me to be happy and that meant for me,to go and find someone to share that with,so I did and yes I am very happy after meeting and marrying Jinxia.
There is someone out there waiting for you to find them,so go and do it.
 

movan

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Brian!!! I was thinking more of the you tube west side story scene 8 Tony meets Maria.

I can't copy it on here on my phone .. can someone help please?[/QUOTETried again and cannot do it. Help please.
 

Lisa

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Internet dating? Yeah, why not?!
It gets you out and you will meet all sorts of women. It'll be fun!
Don't take it too seriously, just enjoy :winky:

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Snowbird

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If you have made your mind up that you would prefer to spend your time sharing lifes experiences with someone else then you have to ask yourself a few questions.
There are not many places that you are going to meet someone of the opposite sex at your time of life.
The usual haunts are no longer suitable, ie, bars, dance halls etc. So you are left with the internet. Nothing wrong with internet dating as long as you keep your wits about you. I think its an excellent place to meet new friends and prospective partners. Having lived alone for many years one of my daughters decided either I was having to much fun or that she may well finish up nursing me in old age, put me out to pasture on an internet dating site. She was horrified to find I was having more fun than ever and introduced me to Pat. The rest is history. Go for it and have some fun.
 
Nov 3, 2013
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No. Fate has got you where you are. Don't knock it, running 30 miles a week at 69 fate has not been too unkind.

I can't help but think of Last of the Summer Wine. Maybe "mates" not "mate" is where we end up.
Hi.
I am in the Movan/Hilldweller camps.Movan..."Eyes across a room" and Hilldweller."Last of the summer wine". How i envied the "Gang".Compo,Clegg, Ivy ,Nora Batty,Barry,Entwhistle. etc and their escapades.
God forbid that anything happens to First wife,"Eyes meeting across a village lane" .But L.S.W route would be my choice if it did. Best of luck with your choice.
Tea Bag
 

Graham and Jane

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Life is to short to have i wish i had done whatever. If you don't try you are going to stay as you are. Life can be so hard, but when it good its great.

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Techno

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Norman
I paid for a three month full membership of either direct dating dot com or dating direct? memory fails me as I've been remarried ten years this May after living together a year first.
Jacs was the first person I met in the first week but I couldn't get a refund on the remaining subscription :LOL:
Good luck
 

PORKSTER

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I really fancy having a go at online dating but the wife wont allow me

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Sep 11, 2014
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Plenty of Fish is free, or it was. Funny though how many 21 year old African guys thought I was gorgeous (I was 55) :LOL:

Karen
 

MattR

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Hi Norman,

I appreciate that it is difficult to ask and to look into the future but IMHO, if you don't ask, you might spend a lot of time regretting it.

I have friends who are living very happily with their internet dates and I have a family members who are amazingly happy having met their spouses by shear coincidences.

If I were in your situation, I'd explore some of the internet sites and remember that there will be wonderful people looking for what you have to offer and there will be people who need committing to some sort of asylum.

I would also join rallies with the CC or C&CC - particularly those that do activities that you enjoy so you can meet people that already share an interest in something that you like - such as running.

Have fun :)
 
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I am in a similar position, widowed almost 3 years after 44 years married. I am comfortable with my own company but do miss 'sharing'.......... nothing seems quite so good on your own.

If you feel you would like to meet someone I think you could try internet sites, there are many ladies as lonely as you (or me?)............ nothing ventured nothing gained.........


Good luck ! ..........whatever you decide

.
 

irnbru

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Norman I tried the internet dating several times. Weeded out the undesirables and met some nice folk...go for it. If nothing else it will get you socialising more. Although MHF is not a dating site please don't give up going to meets, just mixing with others broadens friendships. Last time I met you was also the time I met Alan and 1 yr later sll is well so no one knows what is around the corner. Hopefully happiness for you. Hope yo see you around again soon. Best of Luck

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Lenny HB

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As @laird of Dunstan says dancing is a great way to meet people, we started out Jiving and now mainly do Lindy Hop, very energetic dancing what is surprising is the age range anything from 20's to 70's and a surprising number of elderly singles. Since we have been dancing we have know quite a number of people pair, has the big of vantage you get to know people before having to commit to a date so you already know you will get on. Also very cheap compared to online dating and it gives you a social life.
Although we have been happily married for 38 years it's changed our social life, well worth giving it a try.
 

GWAYGWAY

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Go for it, I am married, but lonely, My wife is an Aspie and hates company of any type and I live a quiet life with her. I bought the motorhome to get out and see what I want to see at the same time she is with me and still at home at the same time. I go to rallies but she is never seen out when there. I would love to meet more people and women especially. Things get quite dire sometimes as I want somebody around me that actually likes me but do not get it.. You also need company, loneliness is catch 22 situation you NEED to break the ring.
 
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Another thing is that in your age group any woman who is internet savvy is likely a to be quite intelligent (y)
MrAmbukancekidd already knows this.......but he still put my goat in the back of his Discovery to make sure I followed him from Wales all the way to Scotland!:hugs:

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