sedge

A friend sent me these ....

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the girl a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a Twenty pence piece. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but that way you can just give me a pound back .'She was puzzled and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The girl then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change!
Do not confuse the staff at MacD's.


We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Madam, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two…'
We haven't used Garador repair since. Happened in Moor Park, Nr Watford UK


I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local town council office to request the removal of the "DEER CROSSING" sign on our road. She said the reason was: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
Story from Potters Bar, Herts, UK


My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From South Oxhey Herts , UK...


I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an Irish airport employee asked,"'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened Luton Airport ... UK


The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She is a Local County Councillor employee in Harrow, Middlesex, UK


When my husband and I arrived at Our Local Ford dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, 'its open!' His reply: 'I know. I have already done that side.'
This was at Ford dealership in St Albans, Hertfordshire UK.


A coach party were out for the day, stopped of at a refreshment halt in Hertfordshire and queued up for tea and coffee. One group asked for "Six decaffeinated please.” To which the girl replied: "Sorry, we only do coffee!"
Story from Luton Probus.

simsy56

This is true,

At work one day (at the prison) l had some top dog call in, along with the governor, to see how things were, and l asked him if he would like a cup of coffee. "Yes please", he said, "no milk". l said "we don't have any milk, will you have it without cream"? "Yes, that'll be fine".

bigfoot

And these people are eligible to vote

ruffingitsmoothly

In the good old days years ago before decimalization and the era of H&S, when weight was measured in tons, cwt's and lbs and bags of cement were 1 cwt not 25kgs! I was laying a base for our new conservatory at home, I went to a well known diy store and asked at the till that as I required a ton of cement could they possibly load it with a forklift on to my Transit pickup?

The cashier called over the youngish manager told him what I wanted. I paid for a ton of cement and he came with me out to the forklift driver and told him to put 40 bags on a pallet and load it onto my vehicle.

I could not believe my ears and I was just about to say "no that should be 20 bags" when the little devil on my shoulder said that it was his stupidity say nothing! I have to admit that is what I did

I often wonder what happened at their next stock check

Regards Pat

__________________


You're only jealous coz the little voices are not talking to you!!:Eek!

Larrynwin

Thanks for a laugh on a grotty morning

lufcdave7

Finishing off an extention the other day, the young lad I had laying the floor was nailing the boards down, every other nail he picked up he discarded. I asked him what he was doing, he said some of the nails have the head on the top the others have the head on the bottom. I said I know but don't throw them away, keep 'em for the ceiling.