Wild camping is bullshit (1 Viewer)

[treetops1]

Pull the udder one. sounds like a load of bull to me lol.

 

[Wildbill]

many year ago we were on a exercise with the army we had our arses marched of us we stopped in this location in the corner of a Feld stages were set up I had the first stag sentry duty any way this was 0200 on the morning we wer woken at 0500 one of the sappers got up and his very word were f<<?x where is it during the night sum how a bovine ninja had managed to borrow his weapon there it was with it hanging off its horn
funny east thing him tying to catch this one tone coo with a SLR swinging round to get it back the next time I seen him was at Hamlin bridging camp when they let him out of Colchester
he never lived it down Jim

 

[GJH]

No further word from Jim since the OP. They didn't auction him off did they?

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[mitzimad]

in France we woke up in similar circumstances loads of noise all around us not cows but lions and tiger we were camped on the circus ground on the week they came to town

 

[Movinon]

I recall that we were once camped overnight in the bush in Australia 50ks from the nearest house. We were woken at 2am by a very loud deep gutteral growling sound from outside our van. Quite different from my wife's snoring. This continued for several minutes and we reckoned that, whatever it was, it was at least 8 ft tall and had to be easily 300-400lbs. I was anxious to know what it was but was unable to persuade my wife to check outside (I had unfortunately developed a sudden cramp in my leg). We later described the incident to friends who assured us that it was only a koala. Of course we knew that was untrue - there are no 8ft koalas.

 

[Wildbill]

I recall that we were once camped overnight in the bush in Australia 50ks from the nearest house. We were woken at 2am by a very loud deep gutteral growling sound from outside our van. Quite different from my wife's snoring. This continued for several minutes and we reckoned that, whatever it was, it was at least 8 ft tall and had to be easily 300-400lbs. I was anxious to know what it was but was unable to persuade my wife to check outside (I had unfortunately developed a sudden cramp in my leg). We later described the incident to friends who assured us that it was only a koala. Of course we knew that was untrue - there are no 8ft koalas.

it was a crocodile Dundee's mate donk

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[Steve]

Could have been worse, you may have been gassed. From all the bull sh-t

 

[gozomike]

No further word from Jim since the OP. They didn't auction him off did they?

Still digging his way out of the sh1t?

 

[alfandM]

Well wild 'parking' was for me last night! Found a nice place for a kip at around midnight. It looked like a coach or lorry park outside a major northern metropolis, to be honest when the family is with me I take great care where we park (Mr Security an all that) but I'm never too bothered on my own, I'll stop anywhere. Anyway, cup of tea and a wind down and I got into bed at around 1am hoping to get at least 7 hours and be fully rested for my 11am appointment.

At 3 am precisley I was woken by an alien like noise, so loud I swear it shook the van, whatever it was I was sure it was in the van with me, I leapt up ready for a fight, banged my head hard on the roof (drop down bed) I fumbled and fell again as fought to put my shorts on. Alien or not, it would not have been a fair fight if I fought it naked. Then there were more noises louder and more urgent than before, I quickly realised the noise was not in the van, but right outside.

with the van pitch dark I slowly pulled down the blind not knowing what I'd see. There it was, two foot from my window, bloody great cows were coming down the ramp of a truck, then they all started with their big bellowing MMOOOOOOOO, and they stumbled down and out

I was parked in the unloading bay of a livestock market and now I'm knackered

You wild camper jim

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[Mathilde]

You wild camper jim

Beware of this Aire in Belgium:

Arrived in the small village of Sint Truiden half way between Brussels and Liege and a local directed us to a motorhome stop in the central parking, 5mins from the centre. Over 20 others here, free electric, quite safe…no campsites within 50 km. Very large building at end of car park – looks like an indoor market?

What a night!!! Noisy Germans socializing until after midnight and then 2.30am trucks started arriving followed by strange noises…squealing…which we finally recognized as pigs. This continued until morning when we realized the nice building we thought was a market was in fact an abattoir…600 to 1000 pigs a day, couldn’t get away quick enough!!!

 

[hilldweller]

fought to put my shorts on. Alien or not, it would not have been a fair fight if I fought it naked.

Well I have to say that I have heard at the odd meet, after alcohol has flowed, "Jim" and "like a donkey" mentioned in the same sentence.

True then.