Where's ShiftyZZ ?

Discussion in 'Motorhome Chat' started by ponyboy, Nov 14, 2014.

  1. ponyboy

    ponyboy Read Only Funster

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    Where's ShiftyZZ ? Haven't seen any posts from him recently...
     
  2. Jim

    Jim Ringleader

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    Dave posted about 50 times yesterday and a couple of times today already! you missing him already :)
     
  3. DuxDeluxe

    DuxDeluxe Funster Life Member

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    He probably read this article

    http://www.theguardian.com/science/...ct/07/addictive-carcinogenic-daily-mail-spoof


    Addictive and probably carcinogenic: scientist reveals dangers of Daily Mail
    While many view the Daily Mail as a harmless, recreational newspaper, a newly published study definitively absolutely 100% proves it is actually highly addictive, causes mental judgement problems and damages health
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    The Daily Mail: a bit of harmless fun? Photograph: Andy Rain/EPA
    While viewed by many as a harmless newspaper read by people who just want to relax and unwind – or perhaps do some recreational experimentation with different ideologies – a new study has provided unquestionable proof that the notorious newspaper actually inflicts considerable damage on all those who read it, link to it, or even so much as look directly at it.

    The detailed study looked at reports of the effects of reading the Daily Mail from the last 20 years. To clarify, it wasn’t a “20-year study”; who would make that sort of mistake? You might see those nostalgia shows like I love the 80s, but you don’t call them a “decade-long TV show”. That would be misleading. It would appear to be that you’re ridiculously exaggerating something for your own ends.

    But the study, conducted by Professor Ineptias of The Department for Hysterical Analysis (University of Hyperbole, Hull), reveals that the Daily Mail has many serious consequences for those reading it. Some of the more devastating are detailed below.

    Dependency
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    It starts with just the one, and then suddenly, you’re hooked! Photograph: ANDY RAIN/EPA
    Professor Ineptias revealed a strong tendency for Daily Mail readers to become dependent on it, struggling to go for more than a day without a “fix”.

    “Exposure to the exaggerated, emotive language can be compelling for the casual reader, but pretty soon this takes hold. You become caught up in the exaggerated claims and then you start to show confirmation bias, looking for more things that echo your own opinions and views in a similarly intense way, hence you need to read more Daily Mail.”

    The long term effects of this dependency are uncertain, but animal studies suggest they could be very dangerous. An experiment where rats had their cages lined with the Daily Mail for a month showed that the animals developed very concerning behaviours.

    “They became incredibly hostile and demanding. You’d put them in a maze and whereas they’d normally go and explore, the Daily Mail rats would just look at you angrily, wondering what’s in it for them,” one researcher reported. “And the rats we used for the study were British-bred, white rats. I accidentally put a cage of foreign rats in the room with them once, they almost tore the place apart. Several of them were physically sick. And rats can’t even vomit!”

    There have been many different approaches to treating Daily Mail addiction, such as substituting with milder stimulants like the Express or Telegraph (often supplied via a patch), but these have only limited effectiveness.

    The Daily Mail has also caused dependence in those who hate it, with people constantly linking to it due to a sense of outrage, a very rare example of “passive dependence”.

    Development of further disorders
    [​IMG]
    Exposure to the Daily Mail could lead to all sorts of erratic behaviours. Photograph: DANIEL SORABJI/AFP/Getty Images
    Several investigations revealed that those who grow dependent on the Daily Mail often end up unsatisfied with just reading it and feel compelled to contribute with extreme or bizarre comments. But this engagement with like-minded dependents can lead to increased extremism via group polarisation, resulting in ridiculous right-wing behaviour like burning crosses in your garden, or voting for Ukip.

    “Those who read the Daily Mail often do so because they are already angry or unhappy with their lot. The constant vitriol aimed at those who are more vulnerable offers a form of displacement, a sort of defence mechanism where those with problems can take them out on others,” Professor Ineptas explained.

    Prolonged exposure to the Daily Mail can also produce chronic paranoia, suspicion, anger and belief in conspiracies, like how a secret organisation of homosexuals and feminists is going to steal your childhood home and turn it into a luxurious taxpayer-funded refuge for drug-addled benefits claimants who spend all day knitting Union Jacks purely so they can burn them in front of children. Or something.
     
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  4. tedontour

    tedontour Funster Life Member

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    Brill bit of work (y)
     
  5. JJ

    JJ Funster

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    Always suspected this!

    Great work Professor Ineptas!


    JJ :cool:
     
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  6. Bailey58

    Bailey58 Funster Life Member

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    Shifty's a man of many parts, he has to spread his knowledge far and wide, sometime we have to accept he has other ports of call. ;)
     
  7. ponyboy

    ponyboy Read Only Funster

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    Maybe Professor Ineptas could take some time out from his valuable research and pop round Shiftyzz's for a cuppa and a check on the dear boy
     
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