What to do with a 14 year old for summer? (1 Viewer)

[apple7]

Here's my situation.... My daughter doesn't leave the van when we go on holiday!!! She's very shy and has to be threatened to make her leave. I asked her if she would like to go with a rally (abroad) so she. Could make friend and her reply was.....I don't like holidays! She informed me it wasn't the language barrier that stopped her from talking to people....she doesn't like talking....even to us! Her loving parent lol.
I've booked 2 weeks off end of July beginning of August to go on holiday. But have nowhere to go. She's too young to leave at home and her sister(21) can't even look after herself let alone be responsible for anyone else!!!
So my real question is....has anyone got a shed or garage they can keep her in for 2 weeks? She doesn't eat much, crisps are her staple diet. She doesn't make any noise and she does occasionally wash. Oh and she is toilet trained! Bonus
Sharon x

 

[Jim]

Bring her to the Stratford show, Rally we'll have a fourteen year old with us http://www.motorhomefun.co.uk/forum/threads/jun-15-2015-stratford-upon-avon.99438/#post-1289790

 

[Brisey]

Good advice from Jim, it is surprising how quickly the youngsters make friends with each other.

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[scousebird]

What about taking a friend? Our 2 occasionally brought friends along. In fact when we had the caravan Alan (husband) took James (son) & 3 friends to Royan when they were 16 (I know very brave or very foolish) and they all came home too! They basically spent the entire time at the beach.

 

[movan]

Had the same trouble when my daughter was fourteen........................ oh boy .. believe me ... enjoy it whilst you can do so... once the piercings and tattoos and punk music and goth clothes come along you will wonder why you ever despaired.

As Scousebird says, bring a friend along for her and watch them thrive on the meets ...

 

[scotjimland]

Also have a 14 yo daughter..

enroll her for the Army Cadets.. Charlotte loves it and they go away for a week at Easter to Wales and another two weeks in August .. heaven..

last years summer camp.. third from left

BROKEN LINK

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[Cat53]

What does she like? Animals? Music? Ask her what she would like to do and get her to plan a holiday for the two of you. Then immerse yourself in her world for two weeks.

 

[apple7]

What does she like? Animals? Music? Ask her what she would like to do and get her to plan a holiday for the two of you. Then immerse yourself in her world for two weeks.[/

Lol her world consists of sitting in her room listening to music, coming down for food or taking arms full of snacks up there. In the school holidays she stays in her pj's for the entire time. Occasionally she'll dress to go out with friends. She sends me txts from her room to ask for food! And when I try to cwtch her she runs away. She just laughed at me when I tried to bribe her with haribo then other day!

 

[Cat53]

Pack her off to music festivals then and go off on your own. A few days in a tent and the mud of Glastonberry might bring her round! Why is she so isolated? She doesn't sound very happy.

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[Judge Mental]

camping Fornella lake Garda italy , Al the youngsters gravitate round ping pong table and life begins there, my two have life long friends from going there now.....

Alternatively smash a window or something then when police come round blame her...detention centre?

If she likes kittens she can come and House sit for us when we go awaylol

 

[Judge Mental]

Also have a 14 yo daughter..

enroll her for the Army Cadets.. Charlotte loves it and they go away for a week at Easter to Wales and another two weeks in August .. heaven..

last years summer camp.. third from left

BROKEN LINK

Blimey..she looks serious

 

[CWH]

Sounds like a typical 14 year old girl to me. A difficult and painful time for her. Which you can't do anything about. Am-I-an-adult-or-am-I-a-child? It's an age where lots of youngsters find it embarrassing to 'do things' with their families. She'll grow out of it.
But... it also sounds as though she's taking advantage of you, which you CAN control to an extent. (eg don't have snacks in the house; she has to make some of her own meals etc)
What do she actually feel about motorhoming? Does she see it as 'cool' or 'uncool' (or whatever they say these days).
As said above, get her to tell you what she'd like to do while you're away - then she can either come with you & do whatever it is, or she can go to a supervised club or camp with activities that she says she'd like. http://www.summer-schools.info/

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[apple7]

Alternatively smash a window or something then when police come round blame her...detention centre?

I'm liking your thinking!!

She's not unhappy...at least I don't think she is.

Motor homing is not on her like list!

Basically she's lazy and everything is too much of an effort. Although she did walk over 2 miles to go to her aunties for food rather than cook! Lol

 

[Silver-Fox]

I would go with the detention centre idea myself

They will feed her for free

Result I reckon

 

[CWH]

http://www.pgl.co.uk/ not her thing then????

can she stay with aunty instead of MH with you? (sounds like you may have to bribe both of them though!)

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[Rapido925M]

Our kids (x4!) didn't like anything that we planned, didn't like where we lived, didn't like the jobs we expected them to do, didn't like the food we made them eat (or do without).

Now they all want to live back home, bemoan the fact that their partners are "fussy eaters" and remember their childhood/teenage years with great fondness.

The only time I threatened any of them with violence was when my eldest son "refused" to go to the CCC NFOL (some of you might agree with him ) and I grabbed him by his lapels (he was 17y old), thrust my face close to his and said "I want to go, I've paid for it and YOU are coming". Once there he had a great time, was out at the various entertainment events and asked if we could book for the following year.

Was I any better when I was young? Kids will be kids - Gordon

 

[Mikeclaire]

She doesn't sound very happy.

You are joking, right!!!!!
It's their rite of passage to be miserable and not like anything, I mean do modern kids ever come out of their bedrooms lol!!!!
I thought I saw one of ours yesterday, on their way back from the cupboard with armfuls of food, it was a bit of a blur so can't be sure, may have even got a grunt as a hello!!!
Having three kids of around 15 years old how I long for the pre political correct days when a traveling circus or band of gypsys came through the village and the troublesome ones just disappeared!!!!! Lol!!!

All joking aside, you just have to motivate them, we took our three around France for two months last year and everybody had a great time. ( well most days!!!!)

 

[Wildbill]

go fourteen year old granddaughter having a few socialising problems comes to stay with us for few days culd not get her to do nothing Kevin nightmare what happened to our lovely grand child
bill

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[pappajohn]

Bring her to Stratford...
bring a friend....
Has anyone actually read the opener.....

She DOES NOT MIX
she DOES NOT CONVERSE.. even with her parents.
Because of this she maybe has no friends ad cannot make friends.

A close family friends 18yo daughter acts the same way and has for years.
But She has recently been diagnosed with aspergers syndrome.
Not saying this applies here.

 

[Hollyberry]

Sounds like your average 14 year old--lots of angst and they go through it and improve at about 17/18.
Taking a friend is a good option. My daughters done that for years as step daughter was on her own for years, and now the 2 little ones are a lot younger than her.
The went to WOMAD last year and the 2 girls went off on their own.
( teenagers that is, not the 5& 1 year old!)

 

[Hollyberry]

Bring her to Stratford...
bring a friend....
Has anyone actually read the opener.....

She DOES NOT MIX
she DOES NOT CONVERSE.. even with her parents.
Because of this she maybe has no friends ad cannot make friends.

A close family friends 18yo daughter acts the same way and has for years.
She has been diagnosed with aspergers syndrome.
Not saying this applies here.

Loads of teenagers grunt at their parents but see them in school ---never shut up when in a group.
She may well be very different in a familiar environment and in a herd situation--the social set up suits a lit if quieter kids.

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[pappajohn]

Loads of teenagers grunt at their parents but see them in school ---never shut up when in a group.
She may well be very different in a familiar environment and in a herd situation--the social set up suits a lit if quieter kids.

Agreed, but at the same time, making her go could cause resentment.

 

[Jim]

Sounds like a perfectly normal 14 year old's behaviour to me too

 

[scotjimland]

Sounds like your average 14 year old--lots of angst and they go through it and improve at about 17/18.

we must be lucky, or do things differently, don't have this problem with Charlotte.. now almost 15.. great kid, loves the outdoors, anything on water, mixes well at school, loves going away in the van or camping.. and of course the Army Cadets which she is really enthusiastic about .. they have been a great influence..

of course she's not perfect.. can be lazy and moody.. cheeky even.. but that's her hormones kicking in.. she snaps out of it soon enough..

I don't want to sound smug or think we have no problems ahead..we may well have .. it's early days..

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[Beacons]

My son has just turned 18 is now going through the kevin phase
mutters grunts abrupt moody you name it a phase my elder son was the same only it was when he was early teens he is always saying about his brother I say you were the same no I wasn't he says .he's
24 now and is ok so stick with it it gets better.

 

[Wildbill]

we have been through it for times it usually turns out a lot worse later on once they turn 20

 

[Wildbill]

we must be lucky, or do things differently, don't have this problem with Charlotte.. now almost 15.. great kid, loves the outdoors, anything on water, mixes well at school, loves going away in the van or camping.. and of course the Army Cadets which she is really enthusiastic about .. they have been a great influence..

of course she's not perfect.. can be lazy and moody.. cheeky even.. but that's her hormones kicking in.. she snaps out of it soon enough..

I don't want to sound smug or think we have no problems ahead..we may well have .. it's early days..

one of our sons was like that jim never a bit of bother teen years were a dream turned in to a total moron in his 20s
My other three night mare right thru there teens i was at that time a army cadet instructor climbing kayaking MLTB summer and winter
done lodes with the boys but at times they could reduce the hardest man to tears.
I must hasten to aide I never pressed them in to the cadet's only one joined.
they had all the stimulation they moved on to become well ordered individuals
and one became a prison officer.
I always thought he would end up a inmate so I can relate to the original poster
bill

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[Spidey]

We have a 21 and 14 year old daughter. Both completly different, eldest moody, shouty, slam door, my liife a black abis type. My youngest is quiet, doesn't lose her temper EVER but is shy. She loves going away in the motorhome, but no longer makes friends with other kids. She would much rather sit in the van and play on the tablet than sit outside with us. She likes us but not fond of sitting outside. Now if i had only one kid or type i would assume it was my parenting skill or lack off. But having two different types it is a lottery. So i let her be, she moans about going away sometimes but enjoys her self when we are away. If she wants to sit quietly then i let her and sit outside with my OH. Our eldest who said at the age of 18 never coming on a camping type holiday again has annonced actually she will come with us this summer! I think it is more to do with a free holiday being a student they are too expensive for her. I am sure if a better offer came she would be off. I don't think my youngest will make friends anymore on holiday but the time is very short and soon it will be just the two of us. So we play board games and watch TV on rainy days

OP they change so quickly just enjoy her being with you

 

[Puddleduck]

I'd just add not to push anything. Keep an eye on things in case she is being bullied but if she is generally happy then she will eventually grow through this stage.

Also lots of hugs and cuddles if she doesn't mind. Mine used to say "get off" whilst hugging me back - hard!

If she has any special hobbies or interests then it's worth encouraging them. One of mine had an interest in medicine and became a specialist nurse, one learnt Japanese and became an engineer, another was into outdoor sport and went into the fire service and the youngest is big on history and culture.

 

[Cat53]

I have often felt that we parents should be allowed to take a coma inducing drug, so we can blissfully sleep whilst all this angst goes on!

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