So, there we were, erecting our new Jormax wind break,,, Struth Jim,! (1 Viewer)

Oct 6, 2016
507
776
norfolk
Funster No
45,465
MH
C class
Exp
newbie
Well, we've been off the jolly old net thingy these past ten days,,, travelled about 1400 miles; Calais to Zahora, Southern Spain,,, more of that later (bet thas got ya all strainin at the leash?!).

Anyway, there woz a spiffing thread on ear not sa long ago about the merits, or otherwise, of "windbreaks". As we were "in the market" for one, we followed the discussion with great interest (Gawd, we used to have a life,!).
Now, when Glorious Leader joined in with a serious tuppence worth, yours trulies really sat up and took notice,,,,,, (looking back, we have absolutely NO idea WHY G/Ls opinion should have galvanised our attention, I mean, just bcos he's given imself a title only confirms he's smart enuff to give imself a title, the bloke could be a complete numbskull, no doubt a "nice numbskull", but a numbskull nevertheless,,, So, Mrs biggus and I have made a vow NOT to be suckered into, err,,, well,,, sucking up to Glorious Leaders opinion, EVER again,?!).... (no offence intended to Glorious Leader,,, honestly, G/L).

So, I digressed, a bit,,, now, where was I,?
Ah, yes,,,
We parked up at Zahora inna VERY full campsite (Mrs biggus had done Er research "toe-tal perfec-toe!") she bkd the site way bac in early March, having discovered that Easter issa SERIOUS holiday with Spanish families,,, and it obviously IS,?!!!
We were surrounded by Spanish folk who immediately leapt to our help when it became obvious that backing the 8mts of "Vannatoo", into the space provided, wasn't going to be an easy task,,, but, with the abundance of kind said help,,, (and not underestimating my consummate steering skills) "Vannatoo" came to rest exactly as desired,,, well, almost.


Now,,, as we were manoeuvring our pride and joy, I couldn't help but notice that our immediate neighbours were idly sitting, sunning themselves, and obviously had no desire to assist us in our hour of need,,, well,,, fuk-em, I thought, we don need em,,, not with all the other help on offer,,, we obviously had two Spanish neighbours who wanted "the rock" back,?!!! (NO CHANCE,!!!)

So,,, (and I'm truly sorry that I've taken a while to get to the point) (am I alone with "this" problem,,, I tend to get easily "sidetracked",,, does anyone out there think I should get a "service"?)

there we were, erecting, or trying to erect/assemble, our new Jormax windbreak,,, bearing in mind that G/L said it, (erecting the Jormax) only took im a "few minutes"......

After about an hour anna half, and still struggling with the construction of the Jormax (we were becoming extremely tense with each other and no doubt we'd have exchanged vile language and physical blows were we not being closely monitored by our "smugly smiling, still unhelpful, Spanish neighbours"?!!!) when, "out of the wide blue yonder" (from our neighbours lo-cal) a distinctly feminine, English voice said,,, I'm Penelope Pit Stop, and our Glorious Leader would've got that Jormax windbreak up in ten minutes flat,?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
OP
OP
bigguspeckus
Oct 6, 2016
507
776
norfolk
Funster No
45,465
MH
C class
Exp
newbie
Never heard of him.......






;)
Well, I wouldn't bother wasting your valuable time researching the guy,,,but from wot I've heard,,, and I hasten to add that I cant name my source,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
(it woz Pyro,?!!!) ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"Jim",, is a spiffing chap, but he has got,,, "some history" ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
apparently,,, and please,,,
Smith, and not so Sharp,,, this is strictly confidential, and purely on a "need to know basis",,,

our man "Jim" has some seriously dodgy dealings in,,, would you believe,,, COVENTRY,?!!!!!

The word "on the ground" is that the "subject matter" is directing "undesirable folk" to an unknown destination in the city aforementioned,,,,,,,
those folk are never seen, or heard of, ever again,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

with TWO exceptions,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

the author of this piece,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Pyro,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I can only speak for myself,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
the unspeakable swine who took/directed me to Coventry obviously had my memory wiped (he really didn't need to do that becos my memory is,,,, err, what were we talking about,?!) ,,, but Pyro may be able to throw some light on our fate,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but Pyro wont/cant converse with me,?!

I'm starting to sing the theme tune from "Les Mis",,,,,,,,,, "Do you hear the people sing" tra la la lar,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, think "Michael Ball"

THE MEMBERS OF FUN SHOULD RISE UP and STRIKE a,,,,,,,,, "BLOW FOR COVENTRY FREEDOM?!!!",,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

poor Pyro could still be incarcerated there,?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

o_O:LOL::LOL::LOL:

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PenelopePitstop

LIFE MEMBER
Sep 3, 2007
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since 1999
Ermmm ..... I seem to think it was you who said Jim could get said windbreak erected in 10 minutes and us who laughed!!! I seem to remember saying something along the lines of " liar liar pants on fire" :LOL:. Be careful what you say on here or Old Mo and JJ will have your guts for garters - we pay them well ;). Great to have neighbours with a sense of humour :D
 

makems

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Sep 23, 2011
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Oh you poor buggers - plotting up next to Mrs and Mrs Piss stop :rolleyes:
You will regret it when Rex starts battering his drums and Marie starts shaking her maraccas:LOL:

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Feb 27, 2011
14,671
74,884
UK
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Self Build
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Since 2005
But did you get the windbreaks up in the end? :p
 
Oct 12, 2008
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Balma (next to Toulouse) France
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Since 2011/owner since 6/03/2014
Well, we've been off the jolly old net thingy these past ten days,,, travelled about 1400 miles; Calais to Zahora, Southern Spain,,, more of that later (bet thas got ya all strainin at the leash?!).

Anyway, there woz a spiffing thread on ear not sa long ago about the merits, or otherwise, of "windbreaks". As we were "in the market" for one, we followed the discussion with great interest (Gawd, we used to have a life,!).
Now, when Glorious Leader joined in with a serious tuppence worth, yours trulies really sat up and took notice,,,,,, (looking back, we have absolutely NO idea WHY G/Ls opinion should have galvanised our attention, I mean, just bcos he's given imself a title only confirms he's smart enuff to give imself a title, the bloke could be a complete numbskull, no doubt a "nice numbskull", but a numbskull nevertheless,,, So, Mrs biggus and I have made a vow NOT to be suckered into, err,,, well,,, sucking up to Glorious Leaders opinion, EVER again,?!).... (no offence intended to Glorious Leader,,, honestly, G/L).

So, I digressed, a bit,,, now, where was I,?
Ah, yes,,,
We parked up at Zahora inna VERY full campsite (Mrs biggus had done Er research "toe-tal perfec-toe!") she bkd the site way bac in early March, having discovered that Easter issa SERIOUS holiday with Spanish families,,, and it obviously IS,?!!!
We were surrounded by Spanish folk who immediately leapt to our help when it became obvious that backing the 8mts of "Vannatoo", into the space provided, wasn't going to be an easy task,,, but, with the abundance of kind said help,,, (and not underestimating my consummate steering skills) "Vannatoo" came to rest exactly as desired,,, well, almost.


Now,,, as we were manoeuvring our pride and joy, I couldn't help but notice that our immediate neighbours were idly sitting, sunning themselves, and obviously had no desire to assist us in our hour of need,,, well,,, fuk-em, I thought, we don need em,,, not with all the other help on offer,,, we obviously had two Spanish neighbours who wanted "the rock" back,?!!! (NO CHANCE,!!!)

So,,, (and I'm truly sorry that I've taken a while to get to the point) (am I alone with "this" problem,,, I tend to get easily "sidetracked",,, does anyone out there think I should get a "service"?)

there we were, erecting, or trying to erect/assemble, our new Jormax windbreak,,, bearing in mind that G/L said it, (erecting the Jormax) only took im a "few minutes"......

After about an hour anna half, and still struggling with the construction of the Jormax (we were becoming extremely tense with each other and no doubt we'd have exchanged vile language and physical blows were we not being closely monitored by our "smugly smiling, still unhelpful, Spanish neighbours"?!!!) when, "out of the wide blue yonder" (from our neighbours lo-cal) a distinctly feminine, English voice said,,, I'm Penelope Pit Stop, and our Glorious Leader would've got that Jormax windbreak up in ten minutes flat,?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Now this is what I call a difficult exercice for a foreigner! Nevertheless, I understood all I read, but can't say all of it as I had no time enough to go through this whole master piece! Nice one, brought me back to Uni when I had to only deal with phonetics!:D:D
 

sallylillian

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Oct 29, 2011
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If you have a hammer drill, take a long 15mm masonry drill with you, this will make a good foundation for erecting the poles into almost any hard ground. Attempting to hammer them in is difficult in hard ground.

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Gellyneck

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Jun 5, 2014
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More than toes wet now!
What were you doing? Bang in six poles with a heavy hammer and the nut supplied Place the stretchers on them and tighten, max 5 minutes.
The problem seems to be that the nut was using the heavy hammer!!!:whistle::whistle:

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funflair

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Dec 11, 2013
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All I can say is if you ever buy an awning with poles you could sell tickets to watch.

Martin
 
May 31, 2015
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Now this is what I call a difficult exercice for a foreigner! Nevertheless, I understood all I read, but can't say all of it as I had no time enough to go through this whole master piece! Nice one, brought me back to Uni when I had to only deal with phonetics!:D:D

Don't worry, no one outside of Norfolk can understand him.....:whistle:
 

Jim

Ringleader
Jul 19, 2007
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All I can say is if you ever buy an awning with poles you could sell tickets to watch.

Martin
I agree but he's talking about a windbreak. Not any old windbreak. The easiest windbreak to erect in the world, ever. :D

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Oct 30, 2010
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When you are born and brought up in Narfuk almost everything must be a challenge.................except perhaps welly throwing and turnip harvesting. :LOL::LOL::LOL:

Richard. (from Suffolk)
 

Jaws

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When you are born and brought up in Narfuk almost everything must be a challenge.................except perhaps welly throwing and turnip harvesting. :LOL::LOL::LOL:

Richard. (from Suffolk)
Oh bugger..

For the past 45 years I have been welly harvesting and throwing turnips at folk !
 

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