Retiring and still have school age kids?

Discussion in 'Motorhome Chat' started by Spidey, Feb 26, 2016.

  1. Spidey

    Spidey Funster

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2013
    Messages:
    830
    Likes Received:
    550
    Location:
    Wiltshire
    I have read nearly all the retirement threads i can find :) but cant find anyone that has retired with school age kids. Our initial plan was to work until June 2019 when our youngest has finished her Alevels. Even though its not long (we are 53 now) it seems so long. Has anyone retired with kids still at school? And if so did you regret it? We wont be free to do what we want so it may be better just to stick with it for a few years. I have always worked, but at the moment in a part time job that doesnt pay that much. I do get all the school holidays off so not full time at all. My husband works hard and earns good money. Now if i retired ahead of hubby it would give me a chance to work out what i like to do hobby wise etc. No hobbies at the moment at all. Bit nervous i would end up wearing trackies all day and watch tv :-(.

    I think retirement as it gets nearer seems to take for ever to get there and i dont want to wish my life away. But working those extra years would give quite a bit extra money.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  2. The Wino

    The Wino Funster

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2012
    Messages:
    1,116
    Likes Received:
    2,000
    Location:
    leicester
    How would your other half feel about you watching homes in the sun while he's at work it would bother me as we have always done the same job with similar commitments?
     
  3. Spidey

    Spidey Funster

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2013
    Messages:
    830
    Likes Received:
    550
    Location:
    Wiltshire
    I know not sure, but i would feel guilty even though our pay is vastly different. My career took a back seat to spend time with the kids, so he is fine with working longer hours. But what money i do bring makes me feel like i contributing. Ideally we would both retire together but not sure about doing it when we still have a daughter at school. We would not be free to do much.
     
    • Informative Informative x 1
  4. Minxy Girl

    Minxy Girl Funster Life Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Messages:
    8,579
    Likes Received:
    9,952
    Location:
    E Yorks
    Not got kids so can't help regarding that aspect, however we were in a similar situation regarding retiring early.

    My hubby left at 52 taking a standard severence deal (10 months pay, no pension enhancement, no pension income) as his job was changing and he could see the writing on the wall, plus we'd planned on retiring early anyway. I stayed on for another 2 years so he was a 'kept man' although he did take up the hobby of doing a big of buying and selling to keep himself occupied and out of mischief along with the housework, cooking etc (I still ended up with the ironing though!). I worried, as you are, about leaving work as I'd always had hard/demanding jobs since leaving school and suddenly being 'free' from that commitment was a bit overwhelming, and one of the reason why I delayed it for 2 years until a severance scheme came up at work who anyone could apply for and, due to the massive changes taking place where I worked, I jumped at it. I timed my leaving so that it was at Christmas time as this was when the whole place shut down for over a week so it was a 'natural' break from work for me ... I then just didn't have to go back afterwards!

    As I do most of the DIY/decorating etc I kept myself busy doing stuff that I'd wanted to for a while but just never seemed to have the time for and eventually stared to 'relax' into the retirement role, realising that I didn't have to get stuff done in a set amount of time as I didn't have to go back to work afterwards was good but it took a long time to shake that feeling! I don't have hobbies as such but I do like to keep busy although sometimes I do have a slouch round day but that's nothing to be sorry for ... I think I've earned it after all the hard graft I've done over the years!

    One thing to seriously consider is the finance side ... you are obviously used to good money so ensure that you look at all aspects of what NOT having that sort of income may mean and whether you can do without it.

    My last 'permanent' boss had a bad time in the end and eventually went off with severe stress (the last straw being the abnoxious and bullying behaviour of his boss who eventually got the push because of it) ... due to the problem he was offered early retirement but he seriously wanted to return to 'save face' even though his wife and I knew that it would be a big mistake for him. What finally swung it was when he and his wife worked out that if he did return he would end up working for just the equivalent of £30 a week! He still took some convincing but eventually saw the sense in NOT coming back to all the aggro/hassle. Now a few years later he's a very happy chap and knows that his leaving had been the best thing for him and his wife.
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Useful Useful x 1
  5. Minxy Girl

    Minxy Girl Funster Life Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Messages:
    8,579
    Likes Received:
    9,952
    Location:
    E Yorks
    It is difficult ... I cut my hours many years ago from 36.5 to 29 and felt guilty just doing that! However it meant I could get stuff done and it left our weekends free for us to go out/do other stuff we enjoy, rather than the mundane stuff at home.

    Hubby had NO feelings of guilt at all when he left so I think it must be a 'woman' thing! :rolleyes:

    Having a daughter at school still (15 years I assume) isn't going to allow you more (if any) freedom than you currently have to get away for holidays etc but it may be that she's happy to be 'abandoned' (only joking!) so you can get away for longer periods. I know you're planning on this for when she's finished her 'A' levels but then what ... is she still likely to be at home, or go to uni? Is she 'independent' or shy and retiring ...

    I think you really need to have a good sit down and chat with hubby about what he feels and both seriously look at your financial situation as to what is possible for you ... that will help you both decide what's right.

    We left work and, other than the lump sum severence payments (which we didn't even expect to get when we originally planned on retiring early) we weren't expecting having anything other than our savings to live on until hubby hit 60 (ie 8 years later from when he left) at which point he could draw his reduced work pension. Yes our savings are reducing as we have to live off them (hubby's hobby helps top them up a bit though and small income from a rental property) but that's something we're happy with ... for us there was no point in continuing to work to put more money into savings for someone else to benefit from when we eventually pop our clogs! As you have kids obviously this is a consideration for you as to how much you are willing to spend of 'their inheritance' ... some feel guilty about this others don't (I wouldn't ... we've earned it, if there's anything left after we've gone that's great but until then its no-one elses).
     
    • Like Like x 1
  6. MH 55 FUN

    MH 55 FUN Funster

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2016
    Messages:
    1,999
    Likes Received:
    2,941
    Location:
    South West Wales.
    No kids here either, but retiring at 55, 2 years ago was the best decision I ever made - quite how I found time to work full time & enjoy life fully i'll never know . .

    SWMBO still works part time out of choice but only for another 4 years.

    Yes, you can take a decrease in income but without a mortgage & debt free we seem to have more disposable income, the time that you would have spent working is easily taken up with various pleasures & you don't need an excuse to plan the next trip away :)

    Early retirement doesn't suit all - but for those we know who have done it, nobody is complaining.

    Good luck with whatever decision you make :)
     
    • Like Like x 4
  7. Spidey

    Spidey Funster

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2013
    Messages:
    830
    Likes Received:
    550
    Location:
    Wiltshire
    I have no doubt about retiring early :) if our daughter wasn't at school then we would do it. She is def (at the moment) very keen to goto uni. We would just base our trips away around the uni holidays. Money side should be fine we have a healthy pension pot( thanks to hubby) mine is rubbish :-(. House paid off and we would move to a cheaper area in the future. We overpaid the mortgage for years and budgeted well. I just think its just been a long week at work (I work in a college) but i do only work 24 hours so shouldn't moan at all. I think waiting a couple of years seems the best option more money in the pot :). Hopefully enough extra for my dream hymer 544 or frankia 640. I have a dream job for most mothers i get all the holidays off and I am there every morning to see her off and back most days for her return. So i have to stop moaning :)
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Informative Informative x 1
  8. MH 55 FUN

    MH 55 FUN Funster

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2016
    Messages:
    1,999
    Likes Received:
    2,941
    Location:
    South West Wales.
    Moving to a better value area to live can be key to this type of decision & is what we did - from expensive West Sussex to great value South West Wales - although not always easy / possible with dependents
     
    • Like Like x 2
  9. moulin 87

    moulin 87 Funster

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    222
    Likes Received:
    392
    Location:
    Limousin, France
    We moved to France for this reason when we retired before we were 50...Houses are often only a third of the price leaving the difference to be 'lived off' prior to receiving your pensions...The different tax regime in France makes this even more advantageous especially if you invest in 'Assurance Vie' products...

    Also the weather is better....
     
    • Like Like x 3
  10. Jim

    Jim Ringleader

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2007
    Messages:
    25,857
    Likes Received:
    76,236
    Location:
    Sutton on Sea
    I doubt anyone ever said on their death bed that they wished they'd spent more time in the office. If you don't have to work then do something you love instead. :)
     
    • Like Like x 10
  11. MH 55 FUN

    MH 55 FUN Funster

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2016
    Messages:
    1,999
    Likes Received:
    2,941
    Location:
    South West Wales.
    The weather in the U.K. is . . . well . . inconsistent at best & our only bugbear really, as we are sun lovers.
    I took my private pension & lump sum & one of my ex - employer pensions @55 & we too hope to end up abroad in Portugal when SWMBO quits in 4 years time.
    Good to hear you are enjoying France :)
     
    • Like Like x 3
  12. buttons

    buttons Funster

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2009
    Messages:
    12,941
    Likes Received:
    10,713
    Location:
    Hertfordshire
    If you have enough money to last for 30 years and you get on together as a couple and neither of you are in love with your employment then retire. There is more to retirement than touring Europe. I had nothing planed when I retired yet never looked back, love it.

    What you really dont want to do is get into a situation where you have to go back to work or fall out with your partner. Spending all of your time together can be difficult to adapt to.
    I dont know how I had time to work my days are full but without that commitment of getting to work each day. Recommended.... (y)
     
    • Like Like x 4
  13. carolyn

    carolyn Funster

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2012
    Messages:
    674
    Likes Received:
    1,589
    Location:
    Sherborne Dorset
    I retired at 55 and Nick retired at 60 the following year. I had intended to go at 57 but could not face revalidation and all the bureaucracy involved. I haven't regretted it one bit. Our son was doing Alevels and we had one at Uni and one working. We then had two at Uni for a year . You must think what you are going to do with your time assuming of course you like to be busy. The first 3 months was the summer holidays but once my youngest went to Uni I joined the gym, I tried the easy classes like pilates and it went from there, I have made new friends. So when Nick retired I had a new lifestyle in place which is very flexible round motorhoming and other holidays plus of course the family. We both worked hard and have good pensions. If your children go to uni, even if they borrow the maximum they will need topping up. Some courses are not very time consuming so part time jobs are possible but some are very full on despite what the DM says!
    I am very glad we staggered our retirement, we are busy doing stuff together and apart. I had a plan in place, if I had just stopped and faffed around all day I would have gone mad. If you hate your job and can afford to retire then I would go fot it.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  14. Spidey

    Spidey Funster

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2013
    Messages:
    830
    Likes Received:
    550
    Location:
    Wiltshire
    You are right Carolyn, its great to be together but I really feel I need to be able to have something of my own to do. I have never given my self time to find out what I like doing as, like most mothers, been busy looking after the family and working. I need to discover what I like doing. I went straight from school to uni to full time work to marriage/work/kids. I am very lucky as hubby is my best friend and we can spend long periods of time together. I think I am going to have a long chat with hubby but we will maybe wait until after we turn 55. That's will focus our minds and is only 18 months away. We have lots of nice things planned between then so will be a busy time.

    MH55FUN - I have had thoughts on moving to South wales but even thought about bringing it forward a couple of years so daughter could do her Alevels in Wales. But that may be to disruptive for her.
     
  15. Milliemobile

    Milliemobile Funster

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2014
    Messages:
    883
    Likes Received:
    1,017
    Location:
    North Yorkshire
    I always told Nige when he retired, so was I.
    As he was Army this was going to be 41.
    We don't have kids and originally the retirement was more along the lines of head to the Caribbean and get paid to Scuba dive.
    Events put a scupper on this, but when he retired I took Voluntary early release too and we relocated from the South to the North.
    At the moment it's probably more of a sabbatical and we may or may not return to work, we spent a lot of time living apart when working due to our careers now we are together 24/7 took some getting used to but we are free to do what we want whenever we want, some days that might be a simple as a whole duvet day watching Walking Dead, but it can also be jumping in the MH heading off anywhere we like.
    Anyone who is worried about given up work worried about having nothing to do, what could be better than knowing you can do anything.

    Lin :)
     
    • Like Like x 1
  16. moulin 87

    moulin 87 Funster

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2015
    Messages:
    222
    Likes Received:
    392
    Location:
    Limousin, France
    There are a lot of Frenchies retiring to Portugal at the moment, I'm told it is because the Portuguese govt are giving some 'tax' incentives to do so!!!! Might be worth you investigating.... If they are then it might be a good idea to vote 'IN' in June so you can still take advantage in a few years time;)
     
    • Like Like x 1
  17. Wombles

    Wombles Funster

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2013
    Messages:
    2,145
    Likes Received:
    1,710
    Location:
    Somerset
    Both of us retired early & we have a 17 year old son going off to uni later this year. Life really is too short & it's possible to have a good or better quality of life even with much less income (y) We watched too many family members working & saving for retirement then having ill health or dying so they had huge regrets & never did any of those things that they had planned. Like a lot of the Funsters that we have met, after our own health scares & issues we want to get out & make the most of every day...
     
    • Like Like x 3
Loading...

Share This Page