relationships and camping ...... (1 Viewer)

[snowdrops]

Friend of mine just come back from 2 months camping in the van around France, Spain etc with partner. The time away in van together finished them off ? I know we usually go in summer so lots of time spent outdoors and we only ever sleep in the van and suppose makes a difference spending most evenings in there wintertime, but, wow, makes you realise how much it can magnify any issues. We've had a few run-ins and had major blow outs etc, but usually cope by walking off, having bit of space etc. Anyone else encountered the hols being a major turning point for the worse ?

 

[Kevan]

You can't be happy all your life, you have to get married some time.

 

[Anthea M]

LOL we thought it would! We Spent 3 weeks touring France in our smallish van and worried we would have a few problems! Just the opposite we found we worked as a team , talked ,laughed more and did more together than we usually do at home due to life factors.
This year we are going for a month!!!
Don't worry and go for it ! (Of course compromise does help!!)

^{_{Subscribers  do not see these advertisements}}

 

[TheBig1]

living and sleeping in a small van or tent can be the same psychologically as being locked in a prison cell with somebody. You learn to get along properly or fall apart

 

[Chris]

I work with my wife so sharing time together in the van is just an extension of work.

Boy I hate work...

 

[Anthea M]

I work with my wife so sharing time together in the van is just an extension of work.

Boy I hate work...

Tut tut Chris !! Is it lack of food making you mean!!

^{_{Subscribers  do not see these advertisements}}

 

[snowdrops]

LOL we thought it would! We Spent 3 weeks touring France in our smallish van and worried we would have a few problems! Just the opposite we found we worked as a team , talked ,laughed more and did more together than we usually do at home due to life factors.
This year we are going for a month!!!
Don't worry and go for it ! (Of course compromise does help!!)

Same here, other than a few blips, we chat, read, sing, listen to music, potter, cycle, swim, walk etc. We deliberately have no telly in the van and time on the grid minimal. I'm quite shocked at my friend and her partner splitting up !!! Worse part is, they got their van and did France etc based on our experiences ! Mr Snowdrops tried to get 4 weeks off for June, they won't give it tho, so it's our usual 6 weeks split over June and Sept.

 

[adonisito]

Not a turning point for the worst, no. But it can be a test, especially if you intend to full time. Luckily for us 8 weeks in the box is not enough !! Although persuading Mrs Adonisito that long term off site may require the occasional use of a small spade has not gone down well. A spare Thetford in the trailer should be the compromise.

 

[Foxy1956]

Never go to sleep on an argument. I learnt that years ago. "Sorry," is only four letters, but can be the hardest word to say especially in a van and even more especially when you're in the wrong and won't admit it. I've been there and there is nothing to beat the healing of a hurt relationship.

^{_{Subscribers  do not see these advertisements}}

 

[BobtheBass]

Never go to sleep on an argument. I learnt that years ago. "Sorry," is only four letters, but can be the hardest word to say

I find its really hard to say using only 4 letters. It comes out as "sorr" or "orry". Only makes things worse as Mrs theBass just thinks I'm pissed.......

 

[TheBig1]

Sorry," is only four letters,

are you sure?

 

[Puddleduck]

Friends of ours went away for a year in a very small van after their small daughter died suddenly. They found without the pressure "to do the right thing" they were able to grieve properly and to share feelings that just doesn't happen when a timetable for getting back to "normal" is imposed. They knew they would come back either as a very strong unit or separately. They are now married and have another child but have been through really tough times since - but they know that as a couple they can rely on each other no matter what.

^{_{Subscribers  do not see these advertisements}}

 

[magicsurfbus]

One of the reasons we've traded in our old MH for a new one is to have a bit more lounge space than a 4 seater dinette to relax in if it's too cold to sit outside. We don't bicker on holiday any more than we do at home, but if we're going to use a MH more often it needs to feel a bit less like a U-boat and a bit more like a place where you can stretch out a bit. I think we'd struggle without a fixed bed for one of us to retreat to with a book every now and then - I believe layout plays a key part in how well you cope with it all.

 

[adonisito]

are you sure?

Actually it is if you look at it as different ones. It uses an s, an r, an o and a y. 4 letters. So we may deduce that 4 letters can spell "sorry" We need not say how many times each letter is used. Reminds me of that Andre Previn/Eric Morecambe sketch, the right notes not necessarily in the right order.

 

[Puddleduck]

I used to hate holidays when I was small as it always ended up Mum and Dad having a massive row on day 2 or 3. I think we only went on holiday as it was "the done thing" as no one ever enjoyed them. Lack of money and penny pinching also probably played a part with Dad refusing to pay for meals out and Mum being expected to produce "proper" dinners using the rubbish facilities provided in cheap "self-catering" chalets and static caravans. I remember one really awful place with a single small hot plate, a tin opener and a toaster!!! That was the year I ended up in hospital (with what I now know was a coeliac episode), the holiday was ruined and it was all (apparently) my fault.

^{_{Subscribers  do not see these advertisements}}

 

[snowdrops]

One of the reasons we've traded in our old MH for a new one is to have a bit more lounge space than a 4 seater dinette to relax in if it's too cold to sit outside. We don't bicker on holiday any more than we do at home, but if we're going to use a MH more often it needs to feel a bit less like a U-boat and a bit more like a place where you can stretch out a bit. I think we'd struggle without a fixed bed for one of us to retreat to with a book every now and then - I believe layout plays a key part in how well you cope with it all.

We have a Ford Transit Jumbo so no compartments other than a very small loo area. Got U shaped seating at back which is nearly always left as a bed the whole hols and L shaped at the front. If we're grumpy one will usually go off and do something small like hubby washing up... hee hee ! Me exploring or washing a few nick nacks. That's usually enough. We don't see each other during working weeks so once the first few days of adjustment and compromise are over with, we remember how much we like each other.......... until you bring a map into the equation or parking up in a spot !! lol.

 

[Foxy1956]

We've always said that the reason we had 4 children was mainly the size of the van bed, tiny, and the fact we had to keep on having to say sorry, resulting in another baby.

 

[TheBig1]

We have a Ford Transit Jumbo so no compartments other than a very small loo area. Got U shaped seating at back which is nearly always left as a bed the whole hols and L shaped at the front. If we're grumpy one will usually go off and do something small like hubby washing up... hee hee ! Me exploring or washing a few nick nacks. That's usually enough. We don't see each other during working weeks so once the first few days of adjustment and compromise are over with, we remember how much we like each other.......... until you bring a map into the equation or parking up in a spot !! lol.

it is surprising the number of couples that spend very little quality time together because of their working lives. then a few week of spending time in very close quarters can make or break their relationship. look at the number of marriages that fail when people retire. happened to the wife;s sister. happily married for 30 years and when the husband retired and was home fulltime, they decided that they didnt actually get on at all

^{_{Subscribers  do not see these advertisements}}

 

[Foxy1956]

it is surprising the number of couples that spend very little quality time together because of their working lives. then a few week of spending time in very close quarters can make or break their relationship. look at the number of marriages that fail when people retire. happened to the wife;s sister. happily married for 30 years and when the husband retired and was home fulltime, they decided that they didnt actually get on at all

We are just the opposite. Sue developed MS 14 years ago and I became her full time carer about 2 years ago. Because of the nature of her condition MS has brought us much closer together, although there are times when I have to have a real blow up to let out the frustration. Sorry to hear about your sister's marriage.

 

[Teuchter]

You can't be happy all your life, you have to get married some time.

Very true but speaking as one who got married in 1964 and is still married to the same woman - I just hope the 1st 53 years are the worst!!

 

[magicsurfbus]

My other half and I saw very little of each other in term time when we were both teachers because of all the work-related stuff we had to do at home. We both jacked teaching in about 7 years ago. For the last two years we've been working together for a couple of days a week on a joint business venture that we've set up, and we quite enjoy it, although we run other individual ventures too. We can tweak our various activities to suit the available time and we don't plan to give them up completely unless a change in health leaves us no choice. It's all about balance in the end, so I can understand why a sudden change from both working to both retiring could come as a shock to the system.

^{_{Subscribers  do not see these advertisements}}

 

[magicsurfbus]

Funnily enough I think one of my most miserable family holidays as a kid was when my Mum and dad hired a caravan, took us touring the Lakes and Scotland, and it rained a lot. My overriding memory is of steamed up windows and a very steamed up Mum. That their relationship survived that trip is testament to their devotion to each other. The van/camping lifestyle doesn't suit everybody, but fortunately I was able to return to it in my teens and have only had one summer holiday since that wasn't some type of camping.

 

[jockaneezer]

Me and Val had a fall out years ago when caravanning. To get some space, I took our son boat fishing and arranged for her to pick us up in a few hours. We met her at the jetty and there was still a frosty atmosphere but as we walked back to the car in silence, a great big herring gull flew over and shat on the pair of us. We just looked at each other, then started laughing, life's too short.

 

[Kevan]

living and sleeping in a small van or tent can be the same psychologically as being locked in a prison cell with somebody. You learn to get along properly or fall apart

How do you know?

^{_{Subscribers  do not see these advertisements}}

 

[Cat53]

Since Steves crash we don't really argue. We have differing views, but we talk ( or shout) them through. We've both 'been there' for the other one, and my life would be quite barren without him. The wheelchair, on the other hand.....

 

[Mousy]

I don't think it's just camping, friends of ours went to the Maldives for their 25 wedding anniversary....she came back asking for a divorce saying 2 weeks on a small idyllic island made her realise they had nothing to say to each other and it was game over!

 

[Larrynwin]

We find being too friendly in the van makes it rock and the crocks rattle

^{_{Subscribers  do not see these advertisements}}

 

[scotzsue]

We went from me working shifts, mostly nights, and john working usual mon/friday and golf at the weekend to both being retired and home at the same time. Big learning curve.
However we rarely fall out when away in the van, we both seem to chill as we drive to the storage to pick it up. Don't have the same 'me and you' spaces as last motorhome though. Can understnd being cooped up in a small space with little or no distraction can alter how we feel or look at situations. I would love to spend more than the 9/10 weeks maximum away at one time, compromise by going off on my own when we are in the UK.

 

[sdc77]

We thrive in the van ... simple as that.

 

[laird of Dunstan]

We find being too friendly in the van makes it rock and the crocks rattle

get some E&P jacks,they stop the rocking

^{_{Subscribers  do not see these advertisements}}