On the subject of cassette toilets and the gentleman's vegetables. (1 Viewer)

[Puddleduck]

Anyone remember the realistic-looking plastic facsimiles available at joke shops when we were younger? And what we did with them?

 

[DBK]

Anyone remember the realistic-looking plastic facsimiles available at joke shops when we were younger? And what we did with them?

Joke shops! A rarity these days.

 

[Puddleduck]

Joke shops! A rarity these days.

Not seen one for ages....... The fun we used to have with exploding pellets, pepper sweets, itching powder and so on. Probably banned on H&S grounds now.

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[mick noe]

this thread is the crappyist I have ever read I refuse to read any more than a couple more hours worth..............only on fun.............only on fun

 

[Bailey58]

Yep, time to out the lid on it.

 

[Tootles]

Not seen one for ages....... The fun we used to have with exploding pellets, pepper sweets, itching powder and so on. Probably banned on H&S grounds now.

And.........Doctor Proctor's Fart Powder!! Such fun!!....

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[Bailey58]

There's a joke/trick shop in Sunny Hunny.

 

[Puddleduck]

There's a joke/trick shop in Sunny Hunny.

Are you going to organise a meet so we can all try out their merchandise?

 

[Dawn B]

There's a joke/trick shop in Sunny Hunny.

Went there with Cruiser but they wouldn't keep him

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[cruiser]

thanks dawn. but are we going back. I thought we could all listen to the family entertainment again.

 

[Scattycat]

I'm of the opinion that the discussion of bodily functions, although taboo for a great many people, is often very necessary when motorhoming as not everything is obvious.

Now, I agree with the "flap open, paper over the hole to prevent skids" approach as a substantial expulsion with the flap closed doesn't bear thinking about - talk about coming back to bite you.

Along these lines, I have discovered that although I am not a 'normous person I'm not entirely convinced that there is room for... everything... in the Thetford bowl, and I can't persuade myself that bombs dropped would be on target, so to speak; rather that they might fall somewhat short of the intended orifice, itself not massive, and lay there sneering at me as I try to flush it/them away with the pathetic flush, or worse: back up and eventually resist expulsion altogether.

The only solution I could see to this predicament, and this has been attempted, was to shuffle forward (try not to imagine this too graphically; it will scar you) and flop the aforementioned vegetables on the outside of the bowl, positioning the bomb bay at what I considered to be dead centre over the target (difficult to ascertain without a camera on a bendy stick). This was remarkably uncomfortable and the experiment had to be abandoned (I trudged through the rain to the site's big-boy toilets).

Is this a common worry? Am I concerning myself unduly? Should I buy a camera on a stick?

Your so right to voice your concerns on this matter with *FUN*. After all, we are all an understanding group of fellow toilet users. I find the best method of operation is to proceed normally, but in the case of a 'stuck' bomb load, a helpful spoon from the kitchen knife drawer soon free's the obstruction.
Don't forget to replace the spoon after use, in case your wife may miss it.

These made me laugh so much that I couldn't read them out to Mike because I couldn't see the words through the tears in my eyes. I hope Simon doesn't have to resort to using a slide ruler!

Lin

 

[Ockerron]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Had such a miserable day...this has totally lifted my spirits! Who'd have thought...

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[2spritelyislanders]

jokes? they're not jokes. it's a serious subject crapology

we have studied for many years to be so knowledgeable about all matters to do with downloading the perfect poo. just sitting down and let nature take it's course is just not an option

My sincere apologies Big One I would have thought that as a serious Crapologist your monica would surely be Big No.Two. Tell me oh Big One in your many years of study have you ever experienced an eye-watering moment and I don't mean tears. If not, you really can't claim to be a fully qualified Crapologist. This from one who has offered emotional support to the best on how to cope with the strain of producing the perfect product

 

[Tootles]

the strain of producing the perfect product

The skill is in the timing of missile separation from the mother craft. To soon, and the target is merely shaken. Too late, and it's in your underpants.

 

[MichelleRyall]

I am back......still chuckling

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[Bailey58]

Of course those who suffer from piles haemorroids need to take extra precautions in aiming before attempting to deposit directly into the cassette. The dangly obstacles at the outlet can cause the missiles to go seriously off course and in these circumstances it may be as well to consider ignoring previous advice and use the bowl as recommended by the manufacturer.

 

[houdini]

Yep, time to out the lid on it.

Jockaneezer might have a problem with that perhaps?........

 

[TheBig1]

My sincere apologies Big One I would have thought that as a serious Crapologist your monica would surely be Big No.Two. Tell me oh Big One in your many years of study have you ever experienced an eye-watering moment and I don't mean tears. If not, you really can't claim to be a fully qualified Crapologist. This from one who has offered emotional support to the best on how to cope with the strain of producing the perfect product

Eye watering? I thought my eyes had turned Japanese and would for ever more be slanted. talk about shitting a brick, mine was more a breeze block, and I swear it had square corners too. once produced it just sat there in the bowl and wouldn't flush no matter how many times I tried. eventually had to fetch a garden trowel and disembowel it. mind you, it felt like somebody had just used the trowel on my rusty sheriffs badge. my poor chocolate starfish was throbbing for hours afterwards.
In my expert opinion no toilet cubicle is complete without straining handles

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[Bertie Bassett]

Joke shops! A rarity these days.

You haven't seen Waitrose's prices then DBk.

 

[Bertie Bassett]

Eye watering? I thought my eyes had turned Japanese and would for ever more be slanted. talk about shitting a brick, mine was more a breeze block, and I swear it had square corners too. once produced it just sat there in the bowl and wouldn't flush no matter how many times I tried. eventually had to fetch a garden trowel and disembowel it. mind you, it felt like somebody had just used the trowel on my rusty sheriffs badge. my poor chocolate starfish was throbbing for hours afterwards.
In my expert opinion no toilet cubicle is complete without straining handles

A thread buster!

 

[Abacist]

All I can say is thank God that that tracing paper stuff seems to be pretty much extinct nowadays or do they still have it in schools?

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[TheBig1]

All I can say is thank God that that tracing paper stuff seems to be pretty much extinct nowadays or do they still have it in schools?

mind you theres a bunch of nutters about now with a similar name Izal or ISIL

 

[Abacist]

Of course those who suffer from piles haemorroids need to take extra precautions in aiming before attempting to deposit directly into the cassette. The dangly obstacles at the outlet can cause the missiles to go seriously off course and in these circumstances it may be as well to consider ignoring previous advice and use the bowl as recommended by the manufacturer.

I find that I have to use the loo brush most of the time as it's impossible to aim accurately with piles!

 

[TheBig1]

I find that I have to use the loo brush most of the time as it's impossible to aim accurately with piles!

Arent the piles sore after brushing them with the loo brush?

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[Bertie Bassett]

I find that I have to use the loo brush most of the time as it's impossible to!

Oh the memories.........................

 

[Abacist]

mind you theres a bunch of nutters about now with a similar name Izal or ISIL

Oh no I thought they'd died a death years ago!

Still I suppose that's better than finding no paper at all available once you are ready to clean up afterwards!

Am I the only one to forget to check that there is paper available when I go in a public loo?

 

[Bertie Bassett]

Oh no I thought they'd died a death years ago!

Still I suppose that's better than finding no paper at all available once you are ready to clean up afterwards!

Am I the only one to forget to check that there is paper available when I go in a public loo?

No!

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[Abacist]

I am surprised that nobody has thought to catch the moment in the photo of the day thread!

 

[daveandsan]

I am surprised that nobody has thought to catch the moment in the photo of the day thread!

Don't go there for gods sake.

 

[Tootles]

The Army stuff had 'ER' stamped on every sheet.....As though you would nick it!.

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