My Waffle

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by Bulawayo Lass, May 6, 2014.

  1. Bulawayo Lass

    Bulawayo Lass

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    A tome to read.... should you fall asleep before the end this is understandable and you are hereby forgiven (just don't snore) :Rofl1:

    I am a Rhodesian. I was born & brought up in Bulawayo. I hated school and left at 15, going to work at the SPCA. (we had no R in Bulawayo)

    My parents dragged me to UK when l was 16. I trained for my BHSAI but after the freedom of riding in Africa where it was all bushveld, emptiness and few people. In UK the roads, restrictions and snobbery put me off riding. I was a kennel maid for about 7 years with racing greyhounds in Kent. l left & became a parachute manifester and enjoyed falling out of planes, it is also where l met my husband Brian who was CCI at the parachute centre l worked at.

    We moved, and lived 5 years in Tenerife. While there l ran the kennels for K9 animal rescue. As well as helping with the feral cat neutering. I spent time as head keeper at Tenerife Sur Zoo and did computer graphics for a small TV company. Brian was in charge of the maintenance and did main graphics etc... they bought all our equipment and cameras and in return Brian worked keeping it all running.

    When we returned from Tenerife to UK l started vet nurse training. I qualified in 2000 and specialised in night work = emergency vet nursing. After 11 yrs nights 7 of those as a locum l have done my stint and now just days as a locum all over the country.

    Brian and l started by owning a small caravan, then a double axel then small no set bed motorhome, then Dakota onto a smaller new VW type finally Rapido Brian used to do all the work etc. and he used it pretty much every weekend.

    My life over the past few years has also changed me a lot. l have a lot of blank spots where l will never know what happened which l am told is normal and often happens after the shock death of a spouse or child (in my case spouse and parents).
    My dad, after several years of chronic ill health passed march 2010, mum had a mini breakdown l got her her home after a week on the psych ward and 1.5hrs later had a phone call Brian passed in an accident with a friend. I was trying to cope with mum and deal with my own grief and also with the scum known as media and keep them away from mum and Brian's kids.

    I had no help from family at all over the last few years they were conspicuous by their absence, it is thanks to a couple of friends of mine (Sal being one) and all Brian's friends from the skydiving world, l took over his facebook page and they have been my support network.

    Had a hell of a problem sending back the motorhome that was in Brian's name. Financial ombudsman was no help the amount was over their remit but the lovely lady there managed to get the ball rolling as she was so angry over the banks behaviour. Finally got my MP to help and must be one of the few people who got a letter of apology from bob diamond Barclay bank and the president (forgotten his name) at Clydesdale banks. I ended up dumping the m/h at my lawyers advice, it was at a friends camp-site and it cost the bank over £2000 in parking fees to collect it.

    I am still not sure why l insisted l needed a motorhome and somehow got a mortgage within months of Brian passing and acquired CB (my Autotrail l call Cafe Brian). It wasn't the smartest move and a good friend l consider a brother tried to talk me out of it...gave up and supported my buying it. A lot is in my blank gaps and l/we have not had much use due to always being around mum but starting to use CB more. Went to Germany and Swissy for a month last year.

    Mum spent most of the time until last year when she passed in a care home she was 3yrs mostly on psych ward a few months in sheltered accommodation and finally in a care home... a very good care home given how many are not.
    I took over all mums affairs early on under an enduring power of attorney. She and dad were failed in a HUGE way by the nhs and l am sure l have a large file saying l am a menace who puts in complaints and follows through to very nasty meetings where l do not hold back. Quite frankly if wigan ever had a Stafford type enquiry l would apply to give evidence.
    Sadly l was unable to sue over mums double # pelvis they missed for 5 months and 5+ xrays, only one in a long line of incompetence of treatment. And dad treatment was also always bad and at one point is logged as a major incident. Lets say the health service has hugely let my family down otherwise l may rant.

    A week after mums funeral l got married to Andy. I am now back to having amongst things that are important a cook...my history of such is bad. l am a Polyandrist (look it up!) Brian is with me and guides and helps me. It was thanks to him and our Guardian Angels that Andy and l met. l am very spiritual but l hate religion to me a big difference. Andy has been a strong pillar over the problems l have had, he took 5yrs out to look after his mum with dementia until she passed a few years back.

    Andy and l do kayaking and l have my white water coming next weekend, Andy was also booked but is out of it for a bit as he has torn a muscle in his back. l wanted to do skydiving but was told l was to fat, then so many problems above with mum that trying to loose weight was not practicable.
    Last year l was diagnosed type 2 just to add to lifes fun. We now have a PT l am on a strict Low Carb High Fat eating plan and fat loss is going well (l don't use scales l use fat callipers). Andy is gluten and lactose intolerant and pretty much is on the same eating plan as me but sneaks off it at times.

    I have changed a lot. Work is a thing l do to earn a living not my life... my life is outside of work. Don't miss what you will never get back for something that is just a place you go to earn a living. l gave up to much of my life for nothing in return but a few pounds but only found out to late. l won't make that mistake again, l also learnt that if l don't fight for my family and l, no one else will.

    I carry an advanced decision (living will) l had one drawn up after Brian passed. l also have always had a normal will l always insisted we had a normal will. Andy now has one as well from when we first me. You do not expect death and you are gone but your family are not and without it dealing with Brian, Mum and Dad affairs would have broken me.

    We have no pets after Brian l decided l was tired of death and the responsibility we are both free to move about without considering the needs of our animals. We foster the neighbours Border Terrier Andy walks him about 1.5hrs each weekday and due to neighbours wife's ill health AKA his nibs/the brat called Harvey is often over at our place on sleepovers.
     
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  2. Carol

    Carol Funster Life Member

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    Life can sometimes be like a book with many twists and turns, that we have to deal with, I hope your next chapter of your book brings you what you would wish for.
     
  3. Puddleduck

    Puddleduck Funster

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    :fatbuddha:
     
  4. Bailey58

    Bailey58 Funster Life Member

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    Tough times, very tough times. Some of us think we are hard done by at times but often we don't know we're born.
     
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  5. Madwife

    Madwife Deleted User

    Welcome to Fun. :welcomefunster:

    Kath
     
  6. Momo

    Momo Funster

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    Hi Bulawayo Lass and welcome to the Fun! What a life you have had! Will await the next installment! :welcomefunster:
     
  7. daisy mae

    daisy mae Read Only Funster

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    Hello and welcome from Leicestershire, :thumb:hope the next chapter is happy with many wonderful memories.
     
  8. hilldweller

    hilldweller Funster Life Member

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    And you've not mentioned Gary Hocking.
     
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  9. TheBig1

    TheBig1 Funster Life Member

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    wow, what a long post, but really paints the bigger picture. Sorry to hear that you have struggled with bereavement and nhs incompetence, neither being a good thing in anyones life.

    we too are of a spiritual persuasion, so you are certainly not alone :Wink:
     
  10. cruiser

    cruiser Funster Life Member

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    welcome to the house of fun.you have our respect.iwe hope things are going to get better.we hope to see you at a meet.:thumb::thumb:
     
  11. f6c

    f6c Funster

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    Welcome

    Welcome aboard:Wink::Wink:
     
  12. Ralph-n-Bev

    Ralph-n-Bev Funster

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    Blooming heck , that's a bit different to the usual
    Hello, we've just bought a new Motorhome blahdeeblah 1st post:Smile:

    I thought I could waffle.......:Wink:

    Welcome to the forum. Bulawayo lass. :thumb:
     
    Last edited: May 6, 2014
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  13. rangitira

    rangitira Funster

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    Respect! You are one hell of a Woman! All power to you!
     
  14. Bulawayo Lass

    Bulawayo Lass

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    Many thanks for the welcome to answer a few without going on a waffle rampage.....

    Gary Hocking :BigGrin:

    Well l did warn it was a waffle.

    Another tome! Eish l would be dragged through a field of nettles if l did that l recon :Blush:
     
  15. eddievanbitz

    eddievanbitz Trader - Funster

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    I told you Fun is a great place to be:Wink:

    Eddie :thumb:
     
  16. Phill D

    Phill D

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    hi and welcome. :thumb: whats the story behind the Avatar? or will i regret asking! :Wink:
     
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  17. Bulawayo Lass

    Bulawayo Lass

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    :Rofl1: No Phil l just saw it one day trawling the net for cartoons and liked it.

    Eddie l never doubted you that's why l tracked Jim down at his tent :Smile:
     
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  18. Reallyretired

    Reallyretired Funster

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    Hi and welcome :welcome::welcome:
     
  19. Dawn B

    Dawn B Funster

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    Hi & :welcome:
     
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