"Just become a reluctant solo motorhomer" (1 Viewer)

[vin0114]

So sad news Ray, our hearts go out to you, lots of good information here for you and hope to see you on one of the FUN rallies in the near future.
Josie & Vin

 

[movan]

My thoughts are with you, Ray.... this forum and the people on it will help you through the next months more than you could realise, if you will let us.. Keep posting and know that we care. Joy

 

[laird of Dunstan]

so sorry to hear of your loss ,its not something that i have experienced,loosing my wife so i do not feel qualified in any way to comment other than there is some fantastic support on here and if i where in your shoes i would like to think that i could rely on funsters for the support and the solution , chin up buddy and get through each day one day at a time ,you never know you might end up having a crazy adventure or two, that will help temper your pain

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[Granjan]

I have no idea how you feel, but you have my deepest sympathy, as others have said don't change anything too quickly, you know the ropes for motorhoming so can probably cope with that. Enjoy your precious memories ..... but embrace what you can in life going forward, dont waste a minute of it, enjoy it for both of you. We have no idea what comes after or how long we have or what joy/crap is ahead make it as good as you can. Good luck and dont feel guilty, its not your fault you are here, its just how it is.

 

[Khizzie]

I have no idea how you feel, but you have my deepest sympathy, as others have said don't change anything too quickly, you know the ropes for motorhoming so can probably cope with that. Enjoy your precious memories ..... but embrace what you can in life going forward, dont waste a minute of it, enjoy it for both of you. We have no idea what comes after or how long we have or what joy/crap is ahead make it as good as you can. Good luck and dont feel guilty, its not your fault you are here, its just how it is.

Exactly... Roy

 

[Movinon]

I have a rearview camera (£12.50) on the underside of my nearside mirror so I can drive with the mirror folded when necessary (it's a tree thing). It plugs into my Garmin satnav but a monitor would only be £20. However, its 120d wide-angle view means that it is only useful to see down the side of the van. I do think that much more expensive CCTV cameras might produce a better result.

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[Hollyberry]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a terrible time for you.

My partner was killed in a road accident and the very sensible advice I was given by other widows was not to make any big decisions for 12 months.
It's instinct to try to do something, anything, because we feel we have to change the situation we find ourselves in. You don't have to do anything right now. Perhaps meeting up with just a few other Funsters will be easier to start with.

If it's any help, I managed to drive my motorhome alone in France and the U.K ( it was left hand drive) There was the odd hairy moment as you say without someone in the passenger seat to say go or wait, but I managed and full timed in my motorhome for almost 2 years.

If I can help with any information on help I had in the early days, just message me.

 

[Hydrocell]

Thank you all for you’re kind compassionate thoughts, and thank you for the tip and tricks that some of you use to over come blind spots when driving solo.

I like to think of myself as an optimised not a pessimist always seeing my glass half full, it’s good to know there are people out there like you’re selves willing to help others.

I know Eileen would wish me to go and enjoy as much life as I can, but to say that it’s difficult is an unsettlement not just for me but also here little dog Daisy how sites by the door all day waiting for here to return.

Kindest regards
Ray

 

[lorger]

Hi Ray so sorry to hear of your loss, I can't imagine what your going through all though my Dad is going through the exact same just now after losing my mum beginning of January, they had been together about 55years. My dad is struggling to co e to terms with it and we're just trying to keep him busy to take his mind off things. He has booked a holiday with a couple of widowed friends in March after some forceful persuasion and I'm then taking him away in the van to do the NC500. He will get there and I'm sure if you take the time you need you'll get there also.

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[Anthea M]

Thank you all for you’re kind compassionate thoughts, and thank you for the tip and tricks that some of you use to over come blind spots when driving solo.

I like to think of myself as an optimised not a pessimist always seeing my glass half full, it’s good to know there are people out there like you’re selves willing to help others.

I know Eileen would wish me to go and enjoy as much life as I can, but to say that it’s difficult is an unsettlement not just for me but also here little dog Daisy how sites by the door all day waiting for here to return.

Kindest regards
Ray

Oh dear that breaks my heart to hear that Daisy is waiting for her. I hope you can both overcome the sadness and enjoy life again. It will take time but I'm sure you will , take care.

 

[dippingatoe]

Seconded

 

[Khizzie]

Ray ,after I lost my Kate I admit I was in limbo for a very long time,didn't care too much what happened to me ,then my son suggested that I use my van and do the things we had planned todo ,those first few trips were heartbreak for me ,but I persevered and started to enjoy life again..i can never forget my Kate but it is getting easier to come to terms with the loss ...I. Know only too well that feeling of despair that you are experiencing ,but believe me it will ease ,but never entirely go away...please try to come to one of our rallies/ meets when you feel strong enough ..you will be well looked after...Roy

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[Chas17]

Lots of good advice above. Having lost my partner to cancer in Nov. 2014 I have a pretty good idea of how you must be feeling. I was a virtual couch potato for about six months before giving myself the proverbial kick up the backside. I stocked up the van and did a couple of long weekends in UK to ease myself back in - New Forest and Forest of Dean - and although the hurt and sadness were still there life began to pick up. Finally went back to France for a month in Autumn, meeting up with friends from when we used to live there. Also went back for Christmas and New Year. . Having my lab Poppy has also helped. One thing I did which has been really helpful in France has been buying the automatic toll tag for the autoroutes. It is great not having to worry about climbing across seats or getting out at the peage.
Your life will never be the same again but it will get better and there are some great people out there to help you along the way. Finally as a plus I have now got cupboard room for more than a pair of shorts and a couple of T shirts.
Good luck for the future!

Chas

 

[Jaws]

Sad you are alone now mate, but there are many many solo travellers on here so at least in that respect you in good company.

Our first half decent van was a LHD hobby.
I fitted a reversing camera to it but used a 7" multi screen monitor..
I fitted a 2nd camera on the mirror arm so I could see what was coming at junctions when in the uk.
Cheap, simple and it worked very well indeed ( though often drew some inquisitive looks ! )

 

[Whitebirdyman]

I fitted a 2nd camera on the mirror arm so I could see what was coming at junctions when in the uk.
Cheap, simple and it worked very well indeed

I was planning on something similar as I mostly drive alone, but came to the conclusion that the rear view and action cameras were too wide-angle to be useful, I wondered what field of view camera worked well?

Jim

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[Teuchter]

So sorry to hear of your sad loss Ray.

The advice given by @Hollyberry is in my opinion spot on - a very good fiend of mine who also lost his much loved wife was adamant that waiting a year before making any major decisions - like moving house or selling the 'van etc. was essential.

He told me that in his case he acted far too soon and made some life changing decisions within a few months of his loss and it was only after at least a year, when he was able to think truly rationally and objectively, that he then realized that the major decisions taken in haste were a mistake!

My best wishes for the future

Tom.[/QUOTE]

 

[Jaws]

I was planning on something similar as I mostly drive alone, but came to the conclusion that the rear view and action cameras were too wide-angle to be useful, I wondered what field of view camera worked well?

Jim

You can use any water proof CCT camera.
I used one from eBay that had a 16mm focal length which I found perfect.
They are sometime hard to find but sooner or later that do come up for sale on there.
I have two on my home security system as well as the one I used on the hobby..... But that one is soon to be going on the current van

 

[Puddleduck]

So sorry to hear of your loss.

Someone at the Falkirk Wheel meet last year had a LHD motorhome with a camera on the mirror which solved the problem.

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[jdk62]

So terribly sad to hear of your loss. I cannot begin to imagine your pain.

Some very good advice from other posts and hopefully a little time will help you decide how you wish to go forward.

Best wishes

 

[PeteH]

Really sorry to hear about anyone`s loss of a partner. So best wishes for the future.

When doing LGV. You are taught (well I was) to "square up" to Junctions even if it means nicking someone's "Space"!. "command the road" was what I was told, otherwise you get nowhere as the "lemmings" in their cars are faster off the mark. Just ignore the "Honkers" it`s their lives you could be saving.

Pete

 

[Carol]

Ray please accept my condolences, such big decisions ahead but as others say don't do anything to quickly, do make the effort to get out and about in your van and ease yourself into it. You could follow some of the solo funsters travels on here and you will soon realise there are quite a few widows/widowers on here, as well as many solo men and lady travellers and it's from these folk that you will get your ideas and confidence to get out in your van again.

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[Debs]

So sorry for your loss - so much good advice, just take each day as it comes.

Deb.