It never went away...

Discussion in 'Solo travellers' started by Fletton, Jul 5, 2016.

  1. Fletton

    Fletton Funster

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    Good morning all

    Some of you may recall way back in August 2015 I posted a thread regarding being forced into full timing; and in the end it wasn't the case!... Then!

    Well.... Nearly a year later I find myself writing this thread.

    I have now been (mostly) living in the Moho since mid April. It's a definite separation and there are things still to sort out. However, since April I've been through all of the usual emotions and I am finally coming to terms with it all and beginning to smile again.

    "We" purchased the Moho - new - 14 month ago and I am loathed to liquidise it an asset and loose circa 26k to allow me to purchase a roof that would have to be at the cheapest end of the market - and most likely in a crappy run down area of town - and I'd just end up being a miserable sod!!..

    So I have decided to take it as a "hit" from what equity I might end up with and try and survive as a full-timer - and see what happens. BTW... Now that my head is less emotional... I find that I actually like it.. Living in the Moho.. it that is!

    Cathy is insisting that she keeps the house and all contents car etc... And I keep Moho and the remainder of the savings from my recent pension lump sum. Which she believes to be fair!.. A battle still to be had... Although I will say I'm happy about her keeping the house etc... providing she pays me the difference.. (That being the battle).. But that's another story for another day!

    "We" where due to go across to France at the end of this month.. But for obvious reasons.. That's not happening.

    However, I am toying with the idea of spending the winter over there as some do... Spain / Portugal tho..

    The only thing that's bugging me about it all is that I have limited savings and took a low monthly pension for a larger lump sum.. (If only I'd known for sure at that time - March 2015!!).. Anyway another story for another day.

    I definitely do not want to have to crawl back into the rat-race as a means to survive these next ten yrs.. (State pension time - if it still exists then!!)..

    I'm due to bounce the finance off Ian-the-builder; insofar as he found himself doing something similar - and I too, like Ian, have a building background although wouldn't want to do it "full time" etc.. It's more to point out that I'm very handy and can do most things.

    An example would be.... Not too long ago.. I bartered for free food and camping in exchange for some "jobs" that I'd identified needed doing on a site.. And at the time thought ... Mmmm! I could make this work.. Another story...

    Anyway.... I'm sat here after a night of "wilding" at one end of Mablethope and starting to waffle on a bit now... So I stop here and make another cuppa...


    Regards
    John :)
     
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  2. Graham and Jane

    Graham and Jane Funster Life Member

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    Good luck with whatever the future holds.
     
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  3. Kool Kroozer

    Kool Kroozer Funster

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    Hope all goes to plan, you seem like you know what path your heading for and i take my hat off to ya fella - good luck, safe travels and keep us updated on your progress (y)
     
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  4. Welsh girl

    Welsh girl Funster Life Member

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    Good luck for the future.
     
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  5. Stroppy Bird

    Stroppy Bird Funster

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    This website helps arrange exactly this - you won't make any money from it but you should end up with safe/free place to stay and food.

    https://www.helpx.net

    Best of luck with whatever you choose to do (y)
     
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  6. Hollyberry

    Hollyberry Funster

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    I too found myself full timing unintentionally. Different circumstances, some different stresses to start with. ( ill pregnant daughter, baby delivered at 6 months, daughter back in hospital twice, son in law, well won't mention him) But I wouldn't change a minute of it.
    I could have gone on full timing, I enjoyed it so much.

    Working in exchange for pitch, elec, food would be fairly easy in France and Europe. To the letter of the law the French tax people don't like it but no one has ever taken any notice.
    There are a couple of websites but I can't for the life of me remember their names. I'll have a Google and edit.

    I'd say go for it, don't look back, look forward.

    Yay. @Stroppy Bird beat me to it!
     
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  7. rosierose

    rosierose Funster

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    Good for you! Sounds like you have a "plan" and if it doesn't go to that "plan", you have the freedom to hatch another one.
    Your settlement story reminds of the programme on tv that I recently watched about the marriage mediators. Interesting how they got the divorcees to settle on their financials. Cheaper to go to mediation than to court, apparantly.
     
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  8. Taran_Las

    Taran_Las Funster

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    Good luck(y)
     
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  9. Minxy Girl

    Minxy Girl Funster Life Member

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    Hi John, sorry about why you have ended up with being a full-timer but pleased you are enjoying it!

    If you haven't taken any advice yet please do so as you really DO need to sort out the financial settlement, the MH value for example, should be based on what it is worth NOW not what you paid for it (just like a car would be), you also need to take into account any pension income your wife gets as this is also part of the 'pot', not just your lump sum. Don't be tempted to just let her have her way because it's 'easy' to do now, look after your own interests - be fair but firm - I've known too many people 'give in' and wish they hadn't.
     
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  10. Langtoftlad

    Langtoftlad Funster Life Member

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    What to most are considered "assets" are to some, in a different frame of mind, nothing more than "millstones" inhibiting freedoms.
    At a young age we get fed into the processor... do well at school, go to university, get a good job, buy nice things, get credit, buy nicer things, buy a house, get promoted, buy a nicer car/house/tv & loop.

    Break that loop, intentionally or unintentionally, and it's amazing how little money one actually "needs". The accommodation doesn't need to be an executive deluxe home in suburbia [made out of ticky tacky], just somewhere to keep warm & clean. The TV doesn't need to be a 50" plasma with a zillion channels from $ky at £100/month. The car doesn't need to be a "Three" series at £30k... etc.

    It's maybe not the path you would have chosen, but it doesn't have to be a bad life - just a different one.
     
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  11. Fletton

    Fletton Funster

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    I agree whole heartedly ... Never been materialistic... Always function over form.... :)
    As they say "3rd class driving is better than 1st class walking" for example :)

    And apart from houses... The scariest thing I ever purchased was the Moho... and that WAS scarey at the time... but pleased I did it now :)
     
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  12. scousebird

    scousebird Funster

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    I do remember your post last year and you thought you had sorted it. Sorry to hear it didn't work out.

    Good luck with whatever you do. Working in exchange for pitch etc. sounds a good idea. Keep us up to date.
     
  13. Chris

    Chris Funster Life Member

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    I wouldn't roll over too easily on the finances front.

    She doesn't hold all the cards if there are no children involved.
     
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  14. Minxy Girl

    Minxy Girl Funster Life Member

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    Even if there are children involved I suspect they would be older (ie 18+) so that would negate any possible claim she could have to having funds to support them too - even if they were at University for example then this would be a separate issue for them and the University to deal with regarding course fees, nothing to do with their break-up finances.
     
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  15. Carol

    Carol Funster Life Member

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    Hi John, I remember your first post very well, thought you had sorted it out, I have to say your head seems to be in a much better place that it was then, have a read through the posts on that thread again, they still apply, like others have said it seems very nice to go along with all her dictates now but you are still a relatively young man and need to secure your future as well. Seems your wife had plans in her head for this for a while, don't be sentimental (soft) make sure you get what you are entitled to move on and enjoy your full timing life as you know many do. Good Luck and stay positive. (y)

     
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  16. big map

    big map Funster Life Member

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    I do hope that you are able to resolve things amicably and then be ready to start the new journey in your life.
     
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  17. Minxy Girl

    Minxy Girl Funster Life Member

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  18. chaser

    chaser Funster

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    Sounds like Ian's your man(y)
     
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  19. MH 55 FUN

    MH 55 FUN Funster

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    Unless there are extraordinary circumstances, seriously attempt to settle / agree to a rapid - ish, amicable 50 / 50 split of all assets, whilst keeping the matrimonial lawyers costs to a minimum & then restart your life & enjoy whatever it may hold.

    Good luck & all the best (y)
     
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  20. scotzsue

    scotzsue Funster

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    also remember your original post. Try to go down the mediation route regarding finance, don't let it all go. wish i had taken my own advice about 20 years ago, I did get the romahome though.
    Am sure Ian the builder will have lots of advice for you.
    Good luck for the future.
     
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