hot Curry

Discussion in 'Motorhome Chat' started by crabman, Apr 3, 2016.

  1. crabman

    crabman Funster

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    A little bot of strong language dont read if offended

    lucky i have not got a MH yet after eating this curry, i would have to drive with my bum out the window to cool it off

    At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head.

    Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg.

    Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair.Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief.

    I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned.

    Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse.

    This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.

    The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.

    Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good "

    Understandingly this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction.

    I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status..
     
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  2. pappajohn

    pappajohn Funster Life Member

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    Strange but last time I read that it was an Amazon review for a brand of hair remover which the bloke had smeared on his knot hole and family jewels. ;)
     
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  3. Badknee

    Badknee Funster

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    Yes John, it seemed funnier that time but still worked for me (y)
     
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  4. crabman

    crabman Funster

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    it works for me everytime i read it i laugh
     
  5. dabhand

    dabhand Funster Life Member

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    How can you laugh when your arse is so sore!:)
     
  6. crabman

    crabman Funster

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    it was a joke post dabhand lol i copied it from another guy who sent me it in a e-mail, so you got to laugh lol
     
  7. SteveandDenise

    SteveandDenise Funster

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    Hilarious :)
     
  8. DavidG58

    DavidG58 Funster

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    very odd, IMO neither funny and certainly not motorhome chat

    but an interesting way to let us know what turns you on (y)

    maybe if you had read it first you wouldn't have confused me with the curry reference o_O
     
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  9. dabhand

    dabhand Funster Life Member

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    I know!!! Funny though was pissing myself, especially the bit about the sprout, it's all sooo true!:rolleyes::):LOL:
     
  10. dabhand

    dabhand Funster Life Member

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    Come on David, I know you like your veg!;):coffee:
     
  11. My Dog Likes Fishing

    My Dog Likes Fishing Funster Life Member

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    Sorry but I've got a toilet sense of humour and it worked for me. Still splitting my sides. Pappa Johns reply also did it!
     
  12. TheBig1

    TheBig1 Funster Life Member

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    Belly locker material for certain
     
  13. Khizzie

    Khizzie Funster

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    Did sod all for me being an older person that doesn't see the funny side . Sorry .i will go and lie down now . !!
     
  14. Autowbars

    Autowbars Funster

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    Well I'm old but could not read it properly for laughing.
    We all need a laugh now and then, whether politically correct, rude, morally ok or not.
     
  15. crabman

    crabman Funster

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    Glad a number of people had a laugh at the post, your right of course nothing wrong with a laugh ,
     
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