Do you want to be Malcolm?

Discussion in 'Motorhome Chat' started by Mike B, Apr 13, 2014.

  1. Mike B

    Mike B Funster

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    Opposite to where we used to moor our boat on the Norfolk broads was another boat owned by Jean & Malcolm. Malcolm was/is a university lecturer at Canterbury, highly intelligent, but totally useless at D.I.Y. I must admit I felt smug when he called me over to fix a gas tap on his boat that was leaking. Like all things you do for other people it didn't go smoothly, there I was down in the bilges following a gas pipe and I looked up and Malcolm is sat in the stern drinking a G&T watching the sunset. That was the first time I felt that being practical is not all that it's cracked up to be.

    Since then I've gone and worked in a hospital repairing & maintaining Linear accelerators (The machines that radiate and treat cancer). Again when a machine went defective a radiographer would call and say 'The linacc's broke' and their responsibility was finished and it was then down to me.

    The question is, who would you rather be in terms of practical skills, Malcolm or Tech100/Billthedrill/Jaws any of the practical people on the forum.

    As I crawled out from under the MoHo this morning I know who I want to be.

    'I want to be Malcolm' :Smile:
     
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2014
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  2. Chockswahay

    Chockswahay Funster

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    Hmm………. probably dictated by finance. I tend to do most stuff that is within (or just within!) my DIY skills because of the money I would save. If money was not an issue I too would probably prefer to be a 'Malcolm'. :Blush:
     
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  3. bryandh

    bryandh Funster

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    We know a Malcolm.......... and this ain't him.

    Our Malcolm, among other things, builds solar showers out of dustbins, black bags and assorted "bits 'n' pieces" in the middle of Morocco.......... for fun !!!!

    Malcolm, you know who you are :Rofl1::Rofl1::Rofl1:

    Regards, Bryan and Anna :Laughing:
     
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2014
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  4. teddybard

    teddybard Read Only Funster

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    Nothing to do with He's Not Married to Dawn?:Rofl1:
     
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  5. Johns_Cross_Motorhomes

    Johns_Cross_Motorhomes Trader - Motorhome & Accessory Sales

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    Unfortunately due to age and COPD I have to be a Malcolm and after many years of being 95% capable of doing/fixing everything I find it extremely frustrating not being able to anymore

    Count your blessings that you are capable, the day might come when you can't anymore

    Peter
     
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  6. bigfoot

    bigfoot Funster

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    We know 2 other families who camp with us and there is a DIYer who can't sit still even services his bicycle every morning before he sets off for a ride. I am probably the most normal,duct tape is my friend. Our 'Malcolm' will take responsibility for the music and candles when we have a BBQ in the evening. He is a 'closet veggie' who likes only peas,won't eat ribs,coleslaw or any thing on the bone and cuts the extreme ends of brocolli and leaves the stems, eats peas! But he is great at colour coordination.
    We all know a Malcolm.
     
  7. Snowbird

    Snowbird Funster Life Member

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    Would your Malcolm be the same one as this. Building an extension in Spain.
     

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  8. Peter & Elaine

    Peter & Elaine Funster

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    As I get older its less mr fixit and more malcom :Rofl1:

    Sorry malcom not you mate you know who you are :Cool:
    Besides cathrens list is still way too long :Doh:
     
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  9. bryandh

    bryandh Funster

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    Hi Dave,

    Yep............ that's Malcolm and very handy he is too:Smile:

    Regards, Bryan
     
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  10. Yorick

    Yorick Funster

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    I've been in IT 28 years and know a bit about computers. And all me pals know that .

    I got a bit fed up of folk asking me to solve performance or virus problems. :Sad:

    Now if anybody asks, I reply "Sure mate and will you wash my car while I am sorting the PC ?"

    "Sod off" is the usual reply. When I ask why not, the usual reply is...

    "I don't work for nothing".


    My reply ?

    "Neither do I". :RollEyes:


    That usually gets a laugh from all around :Laughing:

    Now just do work for family and builder mates who help me out in return.
     
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  11. Snowbird

    Snowbird Funster Life Member

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    I applied for a Malcolm but finished up with a Smudger :Doh:
     

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  12. JockandRita

    JockandRita Funster Life Member

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    I don't get that attitude you've experienced. :Eek!: If you were in a position to fix my PC, then washing your car would be the least I could do in return. And when the PC was repaired and "up and running", you'd be having one of my beers. :thumb:

    Regards,

    Jock. :Smile:
     
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  13. teddybard

    teddybard Read Only Funster

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    Sadly you can't win em all
    :Rofl1::Rofl1:
     
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  14. Malcolm Bolt

    Malcolm Bolt Funster Life Member

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    Hey Ho

    Sayin Nowt :BigGrin:
     
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  15. TheBig1

    TheBig1 Funster Life Member

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    i am still very hands on with most things.....drives the wife mad some days and she argues i am taking work away from somebody and damaging my own health. but i enjoy doing bits and pieces

    mind you i have conceded to allow her to have a building firm in to alter the bathroom at home. a few years ago and i would of just got on with it within a week of deciding. cant stand still and look at jobs that need doing though

    as for fixing computers or other little jobs for friends, I used to do a lot of that too and would often be out most evenings fixing stuff. these days i limit the people i fix computers for to close family and friends. look after those that also help you
     
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  16. Minxy Girl

    Minxy Girl Funster Life Member

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    I must be a blooming Malcolm then! :RollEyes: Or maybe 'Melcolm'! :BigGrin:

    I've lost count of the number of times we've help the next door neighbour out and been 'promised' a lovely cake in return (not that I did it for that you understand :Blush:), so far the count is 3 ... but we've not seen ONE of the bl**dy things! :cry:

    Hubby lent her our power washer to do her block paving (I think she was angling for him to do it but I warned him before hand not to fall for it!), she had it for a few weeks and when he asked for it back she kept promising that she'd clean and return it, in the end he had to go round and get it, so she won't be getting to borrow it again! :Angry:

    We've also done lots of other stuff for friends of ours but at least we know they appreciate it ... even though at times we could do without the hassle. :Doh:

    As for letting others do stuff for us or paying for it to be done ... if I can do it, I will as I like it to be done 'right' and judging by the way some people do work (and from past experience of using 'professionals') I might as well do and not then have to put right the stuff they haven't done properly in the first place! However, I must admit that building fencing and a new gate, and then once we'd had our conservatory put up (I know my limits! :Eeek: ), doing the flooring and other jobs in there, then re-jigging the kitchen, doing the plumbing and electrics ... shhhhhh (with hubby), cutting and refitting worktops, tiling, decorating, and then the flooring ... sometimes I wish I COULD find someone to do the job the way I like it!!! I don't think I can face any more decorating etc at the moment ... I'll probably leave it now until we get to the end of summer when I've forgotten how much hard work it can be! :RollEyes: I might, though, get my large drive gate done before the old one falls to pieces as it certainly won't survive another winter. :Laughing:
     
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2014
  17. Jaws

    Jaws Funster Life Member

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    Such a difficult question !

    I have never been a Malcolm.. I am always the bloke getting his hands dirty

    I actually enjoy doing what I do..

    But as said, I have never been a Malcolm so have no idea if I would enjoy that or not..
     
  18. scotjimland

    scotjimland Funster Life Member

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    My dad was a very practical man.. I never saw a tradesman in our house. he did everything
    and he had me help as soon as I could walk.. yes, literally.. he was a spark and did 'home jobs' and had me tag along to help.. pulling cables under floor boards etc.. It used to scare me..

    I recall him telling me.. son, if someone else can make it.. YOU can learn to fix it .. and his advice has been my maxim ..

    I've never had to have a tradesman in any house.. and until very recently had my car in a garage.. other than for tyres or exhaust system.

    Don't confuse education with brains.. or 'gumption' .. my dad had gumption by the shed load.. the 'can do' spirit ... and I inherited a fair bit..

    I know a lot of 'Malcoms' one just up the road who is a high school maths teacher asked to borrow a pipe wrench.. he came back and said it was too small.. he didn't realise it was adjustable.. so an educated man.. with no common sense.. :Doh:

    he fell into a 'gumption trap'
     
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  19. Chris

    Chris Funster Life Member

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    I am definitely a Malcolm. Not because I am lazy ( but I am lazy too) but because I am completely useless with my hands. it's strange because I have quite a practical mind and score highly in IQ and other tests of that sort but put a screwdriver or drill in my hand and I am a bumbling incompetent.
     
  20. olley

    olley Funster

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    Hi Jim sounds like a Malcolm (That actually was his name) I fitted a kitchen for. He was a lecturer at Ipswich College. His wife asked me if he could borrow a power drill to fit a curtain rail, 10 minutes later she came back in the kitchen and asked me if I could do it as he couldn't drill the holes. I went in the lounge picked up me drill and realised he had it in reverse.:Rofl1:

    Ian
     
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