Customers that make us laugh!

Discussion in 'Motorhome Chat' started by eddievanbitz, Jul 7, 2014.

  1. eddievanbitz

    eddievanbitz Trader - Funster

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    "Good morning, I spoke to you at Detling, and we discussed Solar Panels" (We always accept spoke to you, as spoke to either me (eddie) Geoff, Ashley, James or Lyn)

    "OK, Sir" and went on to give a description of what we offer.

    "How much is that?"

    "549.00 Installed with out dual battery charging system"

    "I was quoted £500 at Detling!"

    "Really? all of our prices lists and offer sheets are printed, are you a member of Motorhome Fun?

    "Yes"

    "Ah well that explains it then, you'll receive £54.90 exclusive Motorhome Fun discount"

    "When can you do it?"

    "Our lead time is about four weeks, at Taunton..........." "I need it done this week he interrupted, you've got a mobile bloke that does this area"

    "Which area would that be?"

    "Kent, Sevenoaks in Kent"

    "OK and you want it down this week, hold the line please (as I check the mobile workshops diary) "Hi, yes we could re-arrange this Thursday so he could come up from Brighton to Sevenoaks, Do you want think about that and phone us back? So long as you let us know within a couple of hours we can re-schedule his diary for you"

    "OK thanks"

    With that I made a note in the day book, what I'd suggested.

    Went back into the office about an hour ago and saw my message crossed out!
    so I asked:- "Did the Sevenoaks man phone back?"

    "Yes, but he doesn't want to go ahead"

    "Why?" I asked

    "He didn't like the 30p a mile charge, which will eat up half his Motorhome Fun discount, and he's not happy that we didn't include the mileage when you told him the price was £549 less 10% MHFUN discount"

    Aren't folks funny? how are we meant to know where they live if they don't tell us :ROFLMAO:

    Anyone know of any good clairvoyant classes that I and my staff can attend;)
     
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  2. WynandJean

    WynandJean Funster

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    Does Shiftzz feature in the list?:LOL:


    Wyn
     
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  3. Forestboy

    Forestboy Funster Life Member

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    Nowt as queer as folk. :whistle:

    I'm just glad I'm not in business anymore.(y)
     
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  4. simbadog

    simbadog Funster

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    Apart from the customers, suppliers, staff & the paperwork, I really loved running my own business :RollEyes:

    Can't for the life of me remember why I retired! :Smile:
     
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  5. Puddleduck

    Puddleduck Funster

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    Just had something similar last week. Lady phoned on Thursday, please. please, please could we send out same day for next day delivery...... I rushed around and managed to get the order packed and shipped Special Delivery - just made it to the post office the collection man was waiting! Sunday she phoned to say she no longer needed it as she has sold her horse and could she send it back for a full refund!!!

    I've said to send it back at her expense and I'll refund the cost of the product. I won't be able to resell as I don't know how it has been stored over the weekend.
     
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  6. mitzimad

    mitzimad Funster

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    many years ago i did second hand car spares the conversation went like this
    cust got a rad for a 1970 viva?
    me yes mate 15 quid
    cust 15 quid!!!!! there only a tenner round wordsworths
    me ok go and get one from them
    cust they dont have any
    come back here when i haven't got any they'll be a tenner here as well
     
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  7. Chris

    Chris Funster Life Member

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    Doesn't surprise me at all.

    I did some work recently for a client and recovered all the costs from the other side.

    That's quite rare .

    Anyway, the client satisfaction questionnaire went out as is normal.

    Surprise came with the comments on the survey.

    Apparently I should also have recovered her postage charges in writing to me - about £5. WTF:doh:
     
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  8. Techno

    Techno Funster Life Member

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    I charge 32p plus my hourly rate
    I drove to Bristol today from Leeds 215 miles and 4.5 hrs in traffic before I struck a bat. Would I do it for nowt ? Take a guess
     
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  9. Forestboy

    Forestboy Funster Life Member

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    My business customer base at one time was 80 % public 20% industrial it was a nightmare.
    Made a conscious decision to change it and stop dealing with Joe Public. Over 3 years it turned around to 80% industrial 20% public and went from strength to strength especially when I leased out the side dealing with the public and just took a percentage of the profit. Never missed dealing with Joe Public for one day.
     
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  10. DuxDeluxe

    DuxDeluxe Funster Life Member

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    Try dealing with shipowners......... They make a Yorkshire sheep farmer look generous. And they are past masters at wanting something for nothing and then trying to sue you when it doesn't quite work out as they wanted despite what the contract says. One reason why I like lawyers... (Or at least the ones that don't charge by the second)
     
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  11. Forestboy

    Forestboy Funster Life Member

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    :) tell me about used to load ships for a living.
     
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  12. DuxDeluxe

    DuxDeluxe Funster Life Member

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    Used to survey them...... now run a marine business selling services that they need but don't want to pay for.:rolleyes:
     
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  13. eddievanbitz

    eddievanbitz Trader - Funster

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    That's the daft bit. We charge 30p per mile from Seaford to the job and back using RAC route planner with no hourly rate. It's a new arm to our business, truthfully with a view of opening another Van Bitz / Cornish Farm Touring Park set up, East/West Sussex.

    So if you work out the true cost of diesel and say an average of about 25 MPG it's as cheap for our mobile service to come to you if you live in the South East as we don't yet charge travelling time.

    But we can't quote you the 30p a mile until we know were you live :doh:
     
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  14. Scattycat

    Scattycat Funster

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    We used to have a flooring business. An old lady picked out a sample of carpet she liked and I gave her a price, she then said she had a price from another company for the same carpet and presented me with their quote and sample and asked me what discount I could offer her, I replied that I didn't give discounts on my prices because she had asked me for my best price and if I now reduced the price I had lied to her. She said the other company had given her a 10% discount for the same carpet. I checked the quote she showed me and showed her that my price was lower than their discounted price so I was still giveing her a better deal than they had offered. But they have given me a discount. Yes, I said but even with their discount I am still cheaper for the same product.
    Oh, she said, you're trying to confuse me and pull the wool over my eyes, I'm going to use the other company, it's a better deal.

    Sometimes you wonder how some people have managed to live so long
     
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  15. Popeye

    Popeye Funster

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    All you wonderful business people who have to deal with Jo Public please remember:

    The Customer is always right,

    and I've got a right one here!
     
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  16. Gorse Hill

    Gorse Hill Funster

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    Think ITV/BBC should do a program on Customers from Hell
    There's plenty of the nuggets out there
     
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  17. DuxDeluxe

    DuxDeluxe Funster Life Member

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    Yes - had a few of Scattycat's customers in the past. They pay more because they simply think it is cheap. I call it tariff engineering - we always try to steer customers to the bottom number on the invoice but there are none so blind as those who will not see
     
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  18. JJ

    JJ Funster

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    In a much, much earlier life as a (4th division) professional magician many of the people who hired my act did so because I was expensive...

    They were Thatcher's children and thought the higher the price the better the quality...

    Idiots!

    Where would I be without bullsh*t?

    Poorer.

    4th division act but 2nd division fee... :)


    JJ :cool:
     
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  19. Puddleduck

    Puddleduck Funster

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    30p a mile is VERY reasonable. If we lived in one of your service areas we wouldn't hesitate with an offer like that.
     
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  20. Puddleduck

    Puddleduck Funster

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    I used to do book-keeping for a plumber / bathroom fitter.

    He put in a bathroom for a client, they bought the suite and tiles. After he had finished they didn't like it and wouldn't pay. He took them to court and they then counter claimed he had damaged the suite when fitting it and they had had to get someone else to take the damaged suite out and fit another - they claimed for a replacement suite and costs of fitting even though they hadn't paid the first invoice!

    My client won but only because they had written to him saying the bathroom had been fitted by him satisfactorily but they didn't like it and why hadn't he asked them to inspect before finishing the installation (they were on holiday at the time of fitting). Under cross examination they admitted to damaging the suite my client had fitted deliberately.

    Even though he won the case with the publicity and costs he decided to wind up the business.
     
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