Christmas Message From the Dog

Discussion in 'How To' started by teddybard, Dec 22, 2012.

  1. teddybard

    teddybard Read Only Funster

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    Dear God, It's a prayer from me, their pet Dog.

    Dear God: Is it on purpose that our
    names are spelled the same, only in reverse?
    Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers,
    but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
    Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit
    on your couch?
    Or will it be the same old story?
    Dear God: Why are there cars named after
    the Jaguar, the Cougar, the Mustang,
    the Colt, the Stingray, and the Rabbit, but not ONE
    is named after a Dog? I mean, how often do you
    see a cougar riding around? While we dogs love a nice car
    ride! Would it be so hard to rename
    the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
    Dear God: If a dog barks his head off
    in the forest and no human hears him,
    is he still a bad dog?
    Dear God: We dogs can understand human
    verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
    horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,
    electromagnetic energy fields, and frisbee
    flight paths. What do humans understand?
    Dear God: More meatballs, and
    less spaghetti, please.
    Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven?
    And if there are, will I have to apologize?
    Dear God: Here is a list of
    just some of the things I must remember in order
    to be a good Dog:
    1/ I will not eat the cat's food before he eats it.
    Or after he throws it up again.
    2/ I will not roll on a squished and dead seagulls tummy contents, like fish,
    crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
    3/ The cats 'litter box' is not a cookie jar.
    4/ The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
    5/ The garbage collector is not! . . .stealing our stuff.
    6/ I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's,
    underwear when he's sat on the toilet.
    7/ I must try to understand that sticking my nose into
    someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
    8/ I don't need to suddenly stand
    straight up tall, when I'm underneath the lounge coffee table.
    9/ I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
    entering the house - not after.
    10/ I will not come inside after being outside,
    and then immediately drag my butt across the carpets.
    11/ I will not sit in the middle of the living
    room, and start licking my crotch.
    12/ The cat is not a 'squeaky toy',
    so when I play with him and he makes that noise,
    it's usually a sign, that it's not a good thing!

    P.S. Dear God:

    When I get to Heaven,
    may I have my testicles back . . .pretty please?
    #Written by a Scottish Friend Kob.

    Teddybard.

    Roger & Sheila:RollEyes::Rofl1:
     
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