teddybard
Free Member
umm...oops!
Dear God, It's a prayer from me, their pet Dog.
Dear God: Is it on purpose that our
names are spelled the same, only in reverse?
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers,
but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit
on your couch?
Or will it be the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after
the Jaguar, the Cougar, the Mustang,
the Colt, the Stingray, and the Rabbit, but not ONE
is named after a Dog? I mean, how often do you
see a cougar riding around? While we dogs love a nice car
ride! Would it be so hard to rename
the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off
in the forest and no human hears him,
is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human
verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,
electromagnetic energy fields, and frisbee
flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, and
less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven?
And if there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Here is a list of
just some of the things I must remember in order
to be a good Dog:
1/ I will not eat the cat's food before he eats it.
Or after he throws it up again.
2/ I will not roll on a squished and dead seagulls tummy contents, like fish,
crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3/ The cats 'litter box' is not a cookie jar.
4/ The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5/ The garbage collector is not! . . .stealing our stuff.
6/ I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's,
underwear when he's sat on the toilet.
7/ I must try to understand that sticking my nose into
someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8/ I don't need to suddenly stand
straight up tall, when I'm underneath the lounge coffee table.
9/ I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house - not after.
10/ I will not come inside after being outside,
and then immediately drag my butt across the carpets.
11/ I will not sit in the middle of the living
room, and start licking my crotch.
12/ The cat is not a 'squeaky toy',
so when I play with him and he makes that noise,
it's usually a sign, that it's not a good thing!
P.S. Dear God:
When I get to Heaven,
may I have my testicles back . . .pretty please?
#Written by a Scottish Friend Kob.
Teddybard.
Roger & Sheila
Dear God, It's a prayer from me, their pet Dog.
Dear God: Is it on purpose that our
names are spelled the same, only in reverse?
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers,
but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit
on your couch?
Or will it be the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after
the Jaguar, the Cougar, the Mustang,
the Colt, the Stingray, and the Rabbit, but not ONE
is named after a Dog? I mean, how often do you
see a cougar riding around? While we dogs love a nice car
ride! Would it be so hard to rename
the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off
in the forest and no human hears him,
is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human
verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,
horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,
electromagnetic energy fields, and frisbee
flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, and
less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven?
And if there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Here is a list of
just some of the things I must remember in order
to be a good Dog:
1/ I will not eat the cat's food before he eats it.
Or after he throws it up again.
2/ I will not roll on a squished and dead seagulls tummy contents, like fish,
crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3/ The cats 'litter box' is not a cookie jar.
4/ The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5/ The garbage collector is not! . . .stealing our stuff.
6/ I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's,
underwear when he's sat on the toilet.
7/ I must try to understand that sticking my nose into
someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8/ I don't need to suddenly stand
straight up tall, when I'm underneath the lounge coffee table.
9/ I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before
entering the house - not after.
10/ I will not come inside after being outside,
and then immediately drag my butt across the carpets.
11/ I will not sit in the middle of the living
room, and start licking my crotch.
12/ The cat is not a 'squeaky toy',
so when I play with him and he makes that noise,
it's usually a sign, that it's not a good thing!
P.S. Dear God:
When I get to Heaven,
may I have my testicles back . . .pretty please?
#Written by a Scottish Friend Kob.
Teddybard.
Roger & Sheila