MandM
Free Member
The Sun (the bright yellow orb in the sky) comes out and with it comes the silly season. Once the silly season was just within the remit of newspapers. However as we don't have real (Faux News) newspapers any more. As well as the change of emphasis from reporting news to only reporting made up, celebrity, tittle tattle and pictures of nubile young things getting their wobbly bits out.
However, the government decided to have a silly season all of its own. Giving our yoof a new status symbol the ASBO (Anti Social Behaviour Orders) Which were a means of addressing a new phenomena discovered by the government "The Hoodie Culture." The people who brought in this legislation. Were certainly of an age to have been in the peer group of Mods and Rockers. However, they had conveniently forgotten about flared trousers, winkle pickers, bootlace tie, brothel creepers and the Ducks Arse hair cut. Now we had the ASBO which replaced the clip around the ear from the local Bobby. Now ASBO's are like wearing a hood today, just badges of office of our kids peer group.
Anti Social behaviour is not the remit of the young person wearing a hood. ASBO's have been given to people well into their 90's. In one case for playing music too loud and too late in the evening. Turns out they were deaf and the problem was cured with a pair of headphones.
Most of the people under the hoods are just like you were at their age. They are bit ageist, because all the oldies - do nothing but moan - and mainly moan about them. They like a an alco pop or two, well the example has been set to a high standard by our generation. They like a smoke, in our day it was cool to smoke tobacco, today its cool to smoke a splif. They hang around on street corners, I wonder where they got that idea from. They listen to loud music, we know where they got that idea from - t'was the 93year old ASBO owner who set the standard.
So why is it the silly season I hear you ask...?
Following on from the cold war - the government has now decided to play around with the ASBO. Now we have the CrimBO (Criminal Behaviour Order) This now runs slipshod over Crimbo as a popular name for the Christian festival we call Christmas.
The one time Home Office muppet, who has since been un-elected to the role of Prime Minister. Bored out of her tree, when had finished polishing her leopard skin shoes and counting the paperclips. After sharpening her pencil and cleaning her nails. Lemon T, Theresa the Appeaser, Theresa Mayhem came up with a whole new wheeze. She has decided to rebrand the ASBO. (a notorious running joke famous for its total ineffectiveness) The then Home Secretary said that the new order was a sign of the government "putting the needs of victims first." and will "ensure people can hold the police and local agencies to account."
Whoops... rewind - press play. "putting the needs of victims first." and will "ensure people can hold the police and local agencies to account." So the poor miscreants are no longer answerable. Now its down to the Police service, Fire service and Ambulance service who are accountable. So if some spirited Tory boys smash up a restaurant, you could always make one of them Mayor of London. Major Holdup aka Disgruntled of Saffron Walden says 'Forget Crimbos, bring back borstals and the birch. A good thrashing on the bare buttocks. Ah, just like being at Eton all over again.'
Yes, its the silly season. Merry CrimBO readers, you better get an ASBO before they're extinct. Then you too can wear your ASBO with pride.
Respect....
However, the government decided to have a silly season all of its own. Giving our yoof a new status symbol the ASBO (Anti Social Behaviour Orders) Which were a means of addressing a new phenomena discovered by the government "The Hoodie Culture." The people who brought in this legislation. Were certainly of an age to have been in the peer group of Mods and Rockers. However, they had conveniently forgotten about flared trousers, winkle pickers, bootlace tie, brothel creepers and the Ducks Arse hair cut. Now we had the ASBO which replaced the clip around the ear from the local Bobby. Now ASBO's are like wearing a hood today, just badges of office of our kids peer group.
Anti Social behaviour is not the remit of the young person wearing a hood. ASBO's have been given to people well into their 90's. In one case for playing music too loud and too late in the evening. Turns out they were deaf and the problem was cured with a pair of headphones.
Most of the people under the hoods are just like you were at their age. They are bit ageist, because all the oldies - do nothing but moan - and mainly moan about them. They like a an alco pop or two, well the example has been set to a high standard by our generation. They like a smoke, in our day it was cool to smoke tobacco, today its cool to smoke a splif. They hang around on street corners, I wonder where they got that idea from. They listen to loud music, we know where they got that idea from - t'was the 93year old ASBO owner who set the standard.
So why is it the silly season I hear you ask...?
Following on from the cold war - the government has now decided to play around with the ASBO. Now we have the CrimBO (Criminal Behaviour Order) This now runs slipshod over Crimbo as a popular name for the Christian festival we call Christmas.
The one time Home Office muppet, who has since been un-elected to the role of Prime Minister. Bored out of her tree, when had finished polishing her leopard skin shoes and counting the paperclips. After sharpening her pencil and cleaning her nails. Lemon T, Theresa the Appeaser, Theresa Mayhem came up with a whole new wheeze. She has decided to rebrand the ASBO. (a notorious running joke famous for its total ineffectiveness) The then Home Secretary said that the new order was a sign of the government "putting the needs of victims first." and will "ensure people can hold the police and local agencies to account."
Whoops... rewind - press play. "putting the needs of victims first." and will "ensure people can hold the police and local agencies to account." So the poor miscreants are no longer answerable. Now its down to the Police service, Fire service and Ambulance service who are accountable. So if some spirited Tory boys smash up a restaurant, you could always make one of them Mayor of London. Major Holdup aka Disgruntled of Saffron Walden says 'Forget Crimbos, bring back borstals and the birch. A good thrashing on the bare buttocks. Ah, just like being at Eton all over again.'
Yes, its the silly season. Merry CrimBO readers, you better get an ASBO before they're extinct. Then you too can wear your ASBO with pride.
Respect....
