Our new-ish, wonderful neighbours, Marie & Rex, "Penelope Pit Stop", very kindly gave us a cordial invite over to their place,,, As we're new to the area they furnished detailed directions to their residence,,, "leave the Jormax compound by the main gate, walk ten paces, turn left, three more steps, sit down",,
As one would expect, we navigated the journey safely, and without incident,,,
I wish I could report the same for the journey home,,,
I do remember that the evening got off to a very agreeable start,, we took some cans of Cervza & a bottle of Pizz-Plonk, the conversation flowed, along with the mix of Pizz-Plonk, and everything was going spiffingly well,,,
My recall of the evening begins to blur somewhat after mine host poured my second glass of Brandy (I'd gamely knocked back 6 pints of Cervza & 4,very large, glasses of el Vino Rocco by this point) I do remember getting "a look" from Mrs P, but by then I no longer possessed the "common" to realise I could be in trouble,,, and I was,,, in trouble.
I'm more than a little ashamed to report that my memory of the late evening is el blanko,,, and hopefully (knowing what I know now) will remain el blanko...
Mrs P, somewhat unkindly, in my opinion, has just furnished me with the embarrassing details of my behaviour,,,
Apparently she decided that the festivities had to be terminated when our gallant hosts started to nod off after I'd been waxing lyrical about Nigel Farrage, for, she said, "an interminable amount of time".
Mrs P said she went to great lengths to gently persuade me to leave the premises and when it became obvious I was having none of it she resorted to her Police training (evacuating unruly personnel from a public area) and tried to eject me with the Police version of a firemans lift (exactly the same procedure but the evacuee gets a smack over the head with a truncheon prior to their feet leaving the ground!),,,
it appears I took considerable offence to being man handled and an undignified scuffle broke out,,,
in the ensuing melee our hosts awning was severely damaged,,, apparently I made a very successful rugby type tackle on my poor wife, the result of which sent us headlong out through the awning door,,, which, unfortunately, was zipped closed,,
amazingly the zips held firm,,,
but the awning attachment to the caravan, err, didn't,!
Apparently the rebuild of the awning was a tortuous affair,,, much broken glass embedded in the fabric and other domestic apparel,,,
I myself knew nothing of this,,, apparently I staggered off up the pathway between the many parked caravans loudly singing a version of "Its four in the morning and once more the dawning",,,
I am NOT "in best books this morning"...
As one would expect, we navigated the journey safely, and without incident,,,
I wish I could report the same for the journey home,,,
I do remember that the evening got off to a very agreeable start,, we took some cans of Cervza & a bottle of Pizz-Plonk, the conversation flowed, along with the mix of Pizz-Plonk, and everything was going spiffingly well,,,
My recall of the evening begins to blur somewhat after mine host poured my second glass of Brandy (I'd gamely knocked back 6 pints of Cervza & 4,very large, glasses of el Vino Rocco by this point) I do remember getting "a look" from Mrs P, but by then I no longer possessed the "common" to realise I could be in trouble,,, and I was,,, in trouble.
I'm more than a little ashamed to report that my memory of the late evening is el blanko,,, and hopefully (knowing what I know now) will remain el blanko...
Mrs P, somewhat unkindly, in my opinion, has just furnished me with the embarrassing details of my behaviour,,,
Apparently she decided that the festivities had to be terminated when our gallant hosts started to nod off after I'd been waxing lyrical about Nigel Farrage, for, she said, "an interminable amount of time".
Mrs P said she went to great lengths to gently persuade me to leave the premises and when it became obvious I was having none of it she resorted to her Police training (evacuating unruly personnel from a public area) and tried to eject me with the Police version of a firemans lift (exactly the same procedure but the evacuee gets a smack over the head with a truncheon prior to their feet leaving the ground!),,,
it appears I took considerable offence to being man handled and an undignified scuffle broke out,,,
in the ensuing melee our hosts awning was severely damaged,,, apparently I made a very successful rugby type tackle on my poor wife, the result of which sent us headlong out through the awning door,,, which, unfortunately, was zipped closed,,
amazingly the zips held firm,,,
but the awning attachment to the caravan, err, didn't,!
Apparently the rebuild of the awning was a tortuous affair,,, much broken glass embedded in the fabric and other domestic apparel,,,
I myself knew nothing of this,,, apparently I staggered off up the pathway between the many parked caravans loudly singing a version of "Its four in the morning and once more the dawning",,,
I am NOT "in best books this morning"...