14 year daughter doesn't want to come on next MH holiday :-( (1 Viewer)

[Spidey]

It is so sad, but our youngest daughter wants to stay home with 21 year old while we go to the isle of wight for 5 nights . She gets fed up with the walking and sight seeing etc! So do we let her stay at home? She will be with her big sister. When i was 14 going away on holiday was exciting, but must admit only happened once a year. We do go away a lot more than my parents. She said she def wants to come to Europe with us though. I suppose it would be easier on our own, no wingy teen to sort out. I remember they were so excited about every holiday, now they only want to come on the good ones! I dread mentioning i have booked a weekend away as i get 'haven't we just been away?' I try to ensure that we don't clash with any friend things she has planned and don't go away two weekends in a row or if she has a large project due. I suppose this is normal! Such a sad day

 

[jonandshell]

Take 'em skiing, they will want to keep coming into their forties!

 

[Pikeman]

Going without a teenager in tow - liberating!!!!!

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[Judge Mental]

Sorry but dont blame her...take her to Italy
..
.

 

[Wildman]

no IOW, no Europe, end of story she is too young to be left on her own and older daughter cannot watch her 24/7

 

[Deleted member 29692]

Our 14 year old often doesn't come with us. He normally takes the opportunity to go and stay with Grandma.

Strangely enough he's coming to Italy though.

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[Spidey]

Yes i know we were always of the thinking if you want the good foreign holidays you have to do the local ones. Our eldest daughter had to come with us as all UK holidays were based around work experience for her. She studying to be a vet and they wanted weeks and weeks of work experience. She is going to be home revising all the time. Youngest is probably more responsible about locking doors etc. Its to hard for them to go anywhere as we live in a village with terrible bus service

Funny enough the eldest is coming to Europe in the summer and managed 3 weeks in florida last year, mmmm.

 

[The Wino]

Take 'em skiing, they will want to keep coming into their forties!

We did't take ours this year got too fed-up last year paid quite a bit (catered chalet)they couldn't be bothered to get up when it snowed/was too cold/not a nice day etc. This year we went with friends great time. There is a time you wish your kids would come with you there can also come a time where you like their company but sometimes enjoy something more without them (and it's OK if they like somethings more without you!!!)

 

[Allan & Loren]

Really difficult dilemma but You know your children best and if you can trust them to be at home alone I would let her have her way and enjoy some special time alone yourselves. Alternatively bring along a friend for her so she has someone her own age to hang out with or get her to choose something to do if she comes with you. Most 14 year olds don't want long walks and sight seeing adventures with parents - she's just being a normal teenager like we once were.

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[Tootles]

Same happened with our kids and our narrowboat. Suddenly stuck with two unused bunks. But hey, kids grow up quickly, and if your not careful, you lose the point that at their age, you just wanted to do the same. Constraints of the time didn't let you, unfortunately.

 

[Lenny HB]

Not surprising our youngest daughter spent a couple of years living on the Isle of Wight she thought it was the most boring place on earth, she now lives in Bangkok.
We have friends on the island not far from us, but an expensive trip & boring.
Go in September when Warners are doing the deals for the elderly you will be lucky to get out of 1st gear.

 

[pappajohn]

She discovered BOY'S......

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[Spidey]

She discovered BOY'S......

No not yet thank goodness

 

[buttons]

I used to trust 14 year old daughters until I had one of my own....

 

[pappajohn]

No not yet thank goodness

Dont you believe it.

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[Tootles]

I used to trust 14 year old daughters until I had one of my own....

You have a daughter?? I thought you said you were insolvent??

 

[old-mo]

If you have had no problem`s with the 21 year old and can trust her...

Why not go away and enjoy your new found freedom...

At 14, she is a young adult the way children have grown up so quick in the last 20 - 30 years...

If things go wry, at least you can say you tried.... and will have to give serious thought to your hobby/pastime..

 

[Allan & Loren]

I used to trust 14 year old daughters until I had one of my own....

My parents trusted me and I respected them for it and didn't abuse their trust either as I didn't want to upset them. I brought my 2 children up with the same principle and it paid off. I have 2 great 20+ kids who are my best friends and who we have mutual respect and trust in.

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[GAVLAD]

If it's any conciliation my wife doesn't want to come on holiday with me

 

[Tootles]

If you have had no problem`s with the 21 year old and can trust her...

..........................................................Then send her to 'Mo's 21 Year Old Girl Minding Service' when next on holiday. Satisfaction guaranteed. Well, for Mo anyway.

 

[Reallyretired]

Can't blame her not wanting to go to the IOW. I've been there twice and the second time was definitely a bad idea. It costs a fortune to cross that titchy bit of water, probably cheaper to go to France.
I have no daughters, only 3 sons and I wouldn't have trusted them on their own at 14. Strangely, my sons always wanted to come away, it was my ex-wife who didn't, so we left her at home and took my mother instead.

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[Tootles]

I found the Needles Battery most interesting, and spent hours there. The wife hated every minute of it as well. I did leave her in the underground tunnel though.

 

[Tea Bag]

Hi.
Your between a rock and a hard place,only you know,or think you know your daughter. Will the choice be easier next year ? you will have to loosen the ropes sometime.
My view has been altered by our grand daughter at 14,she has come to no harm,but was not where she should have been,kids ARE different today,she is now 20. Sorry about the scare mongering,but you did ask.Whatever happens,best of luck.
Tea Bag

 

[buttons]

My parents trusted me and I respected them for it and didn't abuse their trust either as I didn't want to upset them. I brought my 2 children up with the same principle and it paid off. I have 2 great 20+ kids who are my best friends and who we have mutual respect and trust in.

We did the same with our kids but for reasons unknown to me my daughter at 13 turned into the devils own child. This lasted for around 5 years before she became the lovely strong independent person she is today. I always thought I could handle any situation but I must say at times I was despairing. Not any more though we are now closer than ever.

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[Wildbill]

where do you live I have a 14 year old hormonal grandson who is staying with us just now will keep her company
just send us house no post code pleas GO TO BUTUM FOR REST OF MESSEG

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0nly kidding
but theirs one thing for sure he's not staying agene he's got the hole house hold turned up side down I love all my grand children dearly but some one has swapped him for my lovely lital boy with the sweetest smile
with the devils own spawn
what a f/'#ing job I had getting him to school his mum and dad are back tomorrow
that's if I don't kill him before then
it's the hormones his mum sad on the phone
I sad to the wife what the that smell she replied teenager in to room bath the blode just drained from his face ether you bath your shelf or I do it I am telling my mum
Handed him the phone with his dad on the phone he wont will he dad looking at me he wouldn't did he bloody hell dad ok by dad
You didn't granddad did you o your dad told you then yes any way I am off for a cuppa then I got to go do a hire
just got back home spotless teenager siting in living room
bill

 

[magicsurfbus]

We did the same with our kids but for reasons unknown to me my daughter at 13 turned into the devils own child. This lasted for around 5 years before she became the lovely strong independent person she is today. I always thought I could handle any situation but I must say at times I was despairing. Not any more though we are now closer than ever.

That sound strangely familiar where our eldest was concerned. We did the Florida Theme Park family pilgrimage when she was 15 (her sister was 12) and she was bloody miserable for most of it, so she stayed home at 16 while we went abroad, and she has never holidayed with the two of us since. On the odd occasion she's been on short breaks with her Mum and sister she's driven them both scatty. As much as I love her I won't holiday with her any more - she's not prepared to meet us half way so I've stopped bothering. The youngest has been in the MH with us a number of times in recent years, including bringing a boyfriend along to Italy for the best part of three weeks, and we've got on just fine. Strangely enough, the eldest has taken herself off to two foreign countries for 6 months at a stretch and has lived and worked there at her own initiative so she's not averse to travelling on her own terms, and I respect her for that.

I think the OP is doing the right thing - as long as the 14 year old is with a responsible adult (ie 21 year old sister) they're best off holidaying on the IoW without her.

 

[wingman]

Not sure what the law is regarding minors. Not sure what the age is when you can leave them with a 21 year old in loco parentis?
The IOW is not a million miles away and there's mobile phones these days, unlike in mine.

If she has an iPhone, you can download an App called "Find Friends". It's free and (assuming she doesn't switch it off) you can track her wherever she goes!

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[Steve]

are you going with only her no friend? i have had the same prob. x3. Let her have her space and see how it goes.

 

[Wildbill]

Dont you believe it.

she could hitch up with this ono

sorry john don't know what wen wrong there
bill

 

[Ockerron]

I'd let her stay with her sister. Though I only have boys, not girls and mine are 20 and 21 this year. I'm looking forward to the summer as it will be the first time with just the two of us in France, no flipping grandkids tagging along! My boys both work and will stay and look after the pets while we are away. As others have said, there are mobile phones nowadays and I'm sure your 21 year old is perfectly mature enough to take care of her sister. Might be nice for them to have some bonding time before big sister flies the coop?

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